Re: Seating arrangements when inviting families for Shabbos

MiracleMama

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 12:50 pm

Only answer if you regularly invite over other families for Shabbos meals.

How do you arrange everyone? Adults at one end, kids at the other? Or keep your family together at one end and the other family (or families) at the other end? Men on one side, women on the other, kids in between? Something else? Depends?

I have mostly been sitting the adults together at one end and the kids at the other. I didn't used to do it this way, but the kids all run away after a few bites and we are left shouting at each other across a huge table. So now I've been putting all the adults together but my kids feel displaced and complain.

doctorima

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 1:01 pm

It really depends how big each family is, and also how long the other family has been married. If they're married <10 years, we assume they want to sit next to each other, so guest DH next to my DH who's at the head, then guest DW next to her DH, then me next to guest DW.

Our kids are usually on the other side, starting next to DH, and guest kids either at the end with themselves, or interspersed with our kids depending on ages, genders, and how well they do or don't know each other.

If guests are married a long time and have a large family, we sometimes split up with men all near DH, and me and the women at the other end. But each time we discuss it in advance and assess the individual circumstances to make the most logical seating chart for that guest family.

agreer

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 1:02 pm

I usually do families together. If I have 2 families plus mine, I'll do one family one one side, my family on one side, and one family gets split around the end.

How huge is your table that you need to shout? Mine is a nice size and it works out fine.

MiracleMama

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 1:07 pm

agreer wrote:

It's not sooo huge. Normal 10 ft table that seats 12. But then we often add a folding table or two making it longer. Factor in some noisy kids buzzing around and then you're shouting.

Miri7

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 1:15 pm

I usually invite guests to seat themselves where they are comfortable. DH and I sit with easy access to the kitchen for getting up to serve. When the younger kids get up from the table sometimes the grownups will readjust to move closer or spread out a bit.

Blessing1

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 1:19 pm

Depends how many couples I have at once. I usually seat men on one side women on the other, everyone across from their spouses & kids at either end of the table.
When it's just 2-3 couples I seat couples next to each other's with their kids next to them.

naomi2

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 1:27 pm

We usually do men and their wives sitting together at the head of the table with the children at the other end. Man, woman, woman, man. But see what others in your community do or sometimes guests will seat themselves. Usually I find that they like to be seated though.

MiracleMama

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 1:42 pm

Right, I have sometimes said just seat yourselves and people just kind of stand around confused looking for direction. Or once I said seat yourselves and did not reserve a spot for myself and somehow ended up sitting surrounded by a bunch of little kids, not even my own, and I was miserable.

1091

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 1:48 pm

Depends on family. Usually I say one side of table for us. One side for them. I sit next to husband and have the man sit on his other side.

thunderstorm

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 2:15 pm

It all depends on how many families we are having at once. If it's a few families, then men on one side and women on the other, some couples end up sitting near each other, and kids at a kids table .
But if it's just one family , Then the father at one head of the table and my DH at the other. Then the wife and kids on one end and me and my kids on the other end.
I also have divorced women with kids, then the mom sits at the opposite end than my DH and the kids are intermingled with my kids based on who wants to sit near whom.
Each situation makes for different seating arrangements. My goal is that everyone feels comfortable, so sometimes there is a switcheroo to our original seating plans.

mommy3b2c

Fri, Dec 29 2017, 2:19 pm

We have a separate table for kids. Adult table is couples sitting next to each other. If the couple has only one toddler, then we’ll all sit at the same table.

chanchy123

Sat, Dec 30 2017, 1:45 pm

We usually have each family take a side. DH has a pet peeve about putting kids in the middle of the table and then adults sitting at the end need to get up to pass the food. So usually we'll have adults sitting at the middle of each side and kids at the end. Friends of the kids sit together.
But we don't have set seats even without guests. We'll change seating arrangements every week and parents sunny necessarily sit at the head.
Seating does get tricky when we host more than one family.

Raisin

Sat, Dec 30 2017, 5:00 pm

I always try and put kids at the end of the table since they don't sit down for long. If my kids are of a similar age they sit with them, if they aren't they sit next to us. So dh at head, kid on each side, me next to kid, with women guests next to me. If guests kids want to sit next to parents I let them but this inevitably leaves gaps in the table when they get up to play.

We often have a mixed group of families, singles and young couples without kids. It can get tricky. Sometimes me or dh moves to the other end of the table to talk to guests far away.

OOTforlife

Sat, Dec 30 2017, 7:16 pm

We have an adult table and a kids' table.

The kids' table is for kids who can eat independently. We have two bassinets for small babies and a high chair and a booster for big babies or small toddlers. Toddlers or babies who can't eat independently are wedged in at the adult table next to one of their parents.

Adults sit however they want. Often couples choose to sit together, but not always. My husband and I are the only people who always sit in the same places. On the rare occasion that someone sits in my seat by mistake, I just sit somewhere else.

cbg

Sat, Dec 30 2017, 9:46 pm

We usually sit adults at one end and kids at the other.
Usually the kids get up to play after Hamotzi, and go back and forth.
Sometimes shy kids want to sit right next to parents, and then guests readjust themselves.

As far as women and men, we usually do one side women one side men, but it's awkward because I always sit directly in front of a man that's not my DH, since DH sits at the head of the table.

I've seen men at one end and women at the other end and kids in the middle so that a man and a woman that are not husband wife are not sitting together, or a husband and wife in the middle. Hosts at either end.

At another home I was invited to they made seating cards so that everyone knew exactly where to sit.

mille

Sat, Dec 30 2017, 9:54 pm

I say "we sit in these seats. Sit wherever you want".

I also offer booster seats or high chairs or whatever else for the little kids. At this stage of life we usually only have toddlers or young children over, not big kids, and most families don't have more than 2-3 kids.

The men/women thing isn't a thing in my MO community. We all sit mixed and it's not awkward.

naturalmom5

Sat, Dec 30 2017, 10:44 pm

mille wrote: