PSA- The sweet table is not for you to take home

animeme

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:28 pm

amother wrote:

Its not yours to take home. Its ment for the people that got invited to enjoy at the simcha. Its equally stealing.

If I'm invited and there, and don't eat dessert, do you think it's ok to take my share home to my kids instead?

33055

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:30 pm

amother wrote:

I do this for my kids. It's my share of cookies that I didn't eat.😉

When people plan their parties, they say they are having X guests and need Y servings.

The idea that the food you don't eat belongs to you is just wrong. If someone is having 500 guests and probably figures 80 % will eat dessert, now has to figure they need 1500 portions because parents feel they own the food they don't eat at the simcha.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:30 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

or to a food bank.

Sadly, food banks have INSANE food safety laws and restrictions. They're actually stricter than restaurants. It makes sense, because their client population mostly has weak immune systems, and food poisoning could be deadly.

You can only donate things that are still in the sealed, original containers. It also depends on what else they've had donated that week. If they already have too much of something, they will turn you down.

So, it has to go to friends and family, or it gets tossed out.

SixOfWands

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:31 pm

animeme wrote:

If I'm invited and there, and don't eat dessert, do you think it's ok to take my share home to my kids instead?

If it was served to you, and cannot be reused, yes. If its buffet style, no.

Honestly, though, if we're talking a cookie or two, its not so bad. But beyond that, its a no go.

33055

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:33 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

They often give the food to boys yeshivahs.

amother

Honeydew

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:35 pm

I cannot explain how disappointed I was at the end of my baby's bris when there were barely any leftovers for me to take home. We paid for it, we're happy for you to come eat, but the extras are ours. I had no time to sit and eat, and I was waiting for my bagel:( Thanks to everyone for telling me how delicious it was cuz I didn't get any. I would never take leftovers even at the end of a simcha unless given express permission.

thunderstorm

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:41 pm

I'm quite surprised at this thread. I always thought baalei Simcha complain that there is too much leftovers , especially cakes and desserts. We learn something new every day.

Whenever I go to simchos of friends they encourage me to take home something for my kids, sometimes they even prepare the plate for me to take home. I don't take home from simchos unless asked to take. But I do treat my kids to some pastries when I attend their school party etc.

SixOfWands

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:42 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Somehow, the caterers we've used have donated food to food banks or homeless shelters or someone in need. Maybe its only food that they didn't use to replenish the buffet; I never asked.

amother

Burgundy

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:45 pm

I never thought of it this way, thank you for bringing this up! not that I ever left a simcha with my pockets stuffed or a take away bag....but sometimes I do take a few cookies for my kids.
What about if its not a simcha but an event?
what about not eating a bagel by a bris, but taking one home for lunch or for one of the kids?
I understand some events are catered for a certain amount, what about events which are not?

naomi2

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:46 pm

I don't think there's anything wrong with taking home 2 cookies to your kids from a buffet. And at brissim they have precut foil so you can take something home or share with a teacher from a seudas mitzvah. Why else do they have out cut foil?

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:51 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

If the bal simchas tells you to take home then I guess it's fine other then that it's a big NO. I was recently by a simcha I couldnt believe my eyes. They hardly finished serving the on -tray when people started packing up miniatures! One of the guest went to the kitchen and came back with a roll of silver paper, that she so generously handed out to guests. It was so embarrassing to say the least, I never saw anything like it! People that popped in to say mazel tov there was nothing left to serve them, for the sweet table was EMPTY. Its a wonder they didnt take the candles and lighting!

33055

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:56 pm

I have been to simchas where people have been stuffing sushi in their purses. Usually, there is a giant swarm at the sushi platter. If people could eat nice and not worry about the teenage babysitter or the kids who couldn't come, then these things would be more civil. I refuse to grab for food.

The dressert stations are also denuded early. Those who care, grab a couple and keep them by their place.

amother

Salmon

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:00 pm

amother wrote:

I don't think there's a one size fit all answer. It depends on the affair, the host and the amount of food available. If the sweet table is overloaded with food, and the host is not the type to mind, then bagging 2-3 cookies would be acceptable. If the table is only partially filled and you don't know if the host would or would not mind, the proper and classy thing to do is not to put anything into your pocket. If the food on the table has been mostly depleted, please refrain from pocketing anything at all.

Imo, it's never a classy thing to pocket and bag any food during an affair. If you really want to take something home, stay till the end and during cleanup time find out if you can help yourself to some food. If the excuse is that you want to bring something home to your kids, just buy something before or after and your kids will be equally pleased. There's no need to employ improper manners for the sake of your kids, nor teach them that this behavior is appropriate.

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:02 pm

naomi2 wrote:

Your kids weren't invited, you were. If you fill a need to bring something home for your kids please make a stop at your local bakery on the way home.

And about brissim, you say they put out precut silver foil? Dont know, never saw them by a briss.

SixOfWands

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:07 pm

naomi2 wrote:

I've never seen foil at a bris, but I imagine its for people who popped by before work, but cannot stay for the seuda.

OutATowner

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:11 pm

Only time I've seen people bagging is by a paid dinner, where the caterer (Greenwalds) put out paper baggies for people to take cookies home.
Dh has brought things home from a simcha when I couldn't go with the kids, and the baalei simcha told him "take something home for your wife and kids."
On a different note, I was at an event (paid dinner) where someone handed out pans to people to take home extras. They thought he was one of the people in charge, but the real heads if the organization were so mad.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:11 pm

If everyone takes Home “just” an extra few things for their children at home - there is not enough for everyone that comes! I saw this at a kiddish in lakewood. (Specifying the place because every woman that came had a bunch of kids at home). The place was wiped clean. It was embarrassing and shameful in my opinion. If you come, you get. If you don’t, it’s not for you. My parents stopped bringing things home for us when they went to a kiddish. They decided we have plenty to eat at home, and bringing things home is distasteful and “shnorrish”. The rule was, if you want treats from a kiddish, you have to go to shul for at least musaf Smile

We felt cared for in other ways.
There are some places that have an abundance of food. In that case, if the party is winding down I guess it’s a little different. Also, the hostess will usually say “please, take something home!”

mame1

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:12 pm

naomi2 wrote:

If I saw foil sitting at the end of a buffet table, I would think it would be for if you made yourself a plate of food and don't finish all of it so the option is to throw it in the garbage or take it home. I wouldn't think it would be for making a plate just to take home, but that's just me.