PSA- The sweet table is not for you to take home

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amother

Seagreen

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:15 pm

amother wrote:

What kind of simcha is this most common at? Is it ok to take at a certain type of simcha or does this rule apply equally to all simchas.

The simcha I saw this at was by a piden haben. Its was horrible.

I believe its never ok, unless the bal simcha tells you otherwise.

amother

Blonde

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:15 pm

I think a bris is in a slightly different category, since there is an inyan to davka take some food with you.

cnc

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:17 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

I'm quite surprised at this thread. I always thought baalei Simcha complain that there is too much leftovers , especially cakes and desserts. We learn something new every day.

Whenever I go to simchos of friends they encourage me to take home something for my kids, sometimes they even prepare the plate for me to take home. I don't take home from simchos unless asked to take. But I do treat my kids to some pastries when I attend their school party etc.

Exactly what I was going to write. When I make a simcha I always encourage people to take home some goodies for their children. And whenever I attend a bar mitzvah, vacht nacht or similar the Baal simcha always tells us to take some treats home and provides doggie bags or silver foil...(although I usually don't - we have too many allergies and diet restrictions etc.) I guess it must be cultural. Live and learn....

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:18 pm

amother wrote:

I think a bris is in a slightly different category, since there is an inyan to davka take some food with you.

Its a inyan to take food with you or to eat from a bris suda?

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:25 pm

cnc wrote:

[quote]

Again if the bal simcha tells you to take home I guess its fine other then that its just plain WRONG.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:30 pm

Huh. Now I feel guilty, as the baal Simcha, that I didn’t tell people to take home food from my son’s bris. Maybe that’s why I was overloaded with sooooo much extra. I always assumed it was a given. Didn’t realize I had to offer. I was so overwhelmed at the bris, making sure people knew to take home was last from my mind, but a lot got thrown out, which was a shame.

My husband always brings me home a plate of food when he goes to events and I always found it so sweet. I’m not so good with remembering to make a plate for him when I go and I always felt guilty about that, but apparently I was just acting with good manners. Whoda thunk.

amother

Honeydew

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:39 pm

naomi2 wrote:

I don't think there's anything wrong with taking home 2 cookies to your kids from a buffet. And at brissim they have precut foil so you can take something home or share with a teacher from a seudas mitzvah. Why else do they have out cut foil?

At my bris, I found out about the cut foil afterwards - the caterers put it out on their own...

naomi2

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:45 pm

amother wrote:

At my bris, I found out about the cut foil afterwards - the caterers put it out on their own...

This just goes to show that the foil is a given at every bris.

allthingsblue

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:48 pm

I hate to be left with leftovers after a simcha and am happy when people take extras home.
It happens to be that usually the hostess will tell me, "take something home for your husband/kids."

Jewishfoodie

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:55 pm

I think we can all safely agree on one thing; if people are hungry, by all means please ease please take whatever you want. We will not judge you. My heart would break if a hungry person was shamed into stop taking food because of something someone said. Everyone should be able to have food in this day and age by whatever means necessary. So many of our grandparents had to steal the smallest grossest looking potatoes just so their kids don't starve. So, by any means necessary, I promise every baal Simcha would be thrilled knowing they put a smile on hungry kids' faces.

I think the point being made here is that frivolous taking of food before the Simcha is over can hurt the baal Simcha. It makes sense but again, if the baal Simcha knew the rewards they reaped for the food going to the needy, they would hand the foil out personally.

My opinion only.

amother

Natural

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:59 pm

Foil is normal at a bris. Every bris I have to gone to has had. Everyone I know packs up lunch.....
Regarding desserts....personally I myself don't touch desserts. I will sometimes take home something for dh and kids buy not from a random simcha....more like from a tzedaka party (that I helped with) or the like. My kids don't expect sormthing if I bring they are happy.

tigerwife

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 8:00 pm

Interesting. At most simchos I've gone to, the fancy cookies are barely touched. I've never witnessed the mass "Packing of the Dessert" ceremony where trays are cleaned out mid simcha. I did once attend a buffet style dinner and a woman actually came with containers to pack up food to go. It was awkward and the organizer felt bad telling her not to take as he would have taken the food home for his family.

I usually see hosts encouraging guests to take a cookie or two home for the kids, especially the miniatures that look super pretty but taste horrible Very Happy

. Some caterers offer an option of dessert to go at the simcha exit (usually hot cookies and a drink).

amother

Ginger

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 8:18 pm

I actually was hoping for leftovers from my bris. I had just had a baby, and this way I would be able to feed my kids for a few days without having to ask for help. There was nothing left.

Mommyg8

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 8:27 pm

amother wrote:

Its a inyan to take food with you or to eat from a bris suda?

It's an Inyan to eat from a bris seudah, so people often take something home to give out to others.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 8:42 pm

At my bris this July we ran out of bagels. Not sure why, I was to busy to figure out what happened, but I hope it’s because so many people came, not because people took Home with them. It’s great to do a mitzvah and share bris food with others, but not if there may not be enough for those who actually came!!
Ps. No, I did not go around telling people “take Home for your kids, pack lunches...” because I was worried about having enough for everyone. Had I been confident there was enough, I would have definitely told people to take Home with them.

watergirl

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 8:44 pm

amother wrote:

I actually was hoping for leftovers from my bris. I had just had a baby, and this way I would be able to feed my kids for a few days without having to ask for help. There was nothing left.

I dont get this. Why not put some aside so you have the food that you were counting on?

amother

Ginger

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 8:59 pm

watergirl wrote:

I dont get this. Why not put some aside so you have the food that you were counting on?

I didn’t know then what I know now. My son is in grade school already.

imokay

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 8:59 pm

As a baalas simcha, I was happy to have my guests take home a few treats for their kids. (I haven't witnessed mass shoveling of treats into clandestine pockets and bags. I am referring to a few cookies or similar)
At the events I go to, it is so accepted and normal.
Part of the caterer's expertise is calculating the amounts. They factor in the amount of kids women and men, the season of the event, the profile of the event, the timing, etc.
If an event is wiped clean, I doubt that it's because a few people took home some extra cookies, it's because not enough food was ordered (ie: the hosts underestimated the amount of people, surprise guests, etc)

If you come to my parties, please feel free to take home something home!

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 9:05 pm

amother wrote:

I actually was hoping for leftovers from my bris. I had just had a baby, and this way I would be able to feed my kids for a few days without having to ask for help. There was nothing left.

This happened to me. I almost didn’t get anything except my husband grabbed me one of the last bagels. I was nursing!! People were taking 3-4. That was repulsive. There was no foil out. There is an inyan to eat from a bris— but I always learned it was if you went you should stay and eat and not dart out after. But if you are taking despite there being no foil and no host saying to take—don’t grab 3 or 4! I don’t care how many kids you have or if you wanted to take lunch for yourself. It’s for the guests who came.

We were hoping to have some for the week and freeze a few.

But then again someone tried stealing the yarmulkas we put out for the not religious guests. He was obviously frum but didn’t want to buy a new Yalmukah. I bought for those who didn’t have one and would feel embarrassed. Yes, I feel bad if you can’t afford it but don’t steal one. And it was stealing as it was obvious what is was for. I am not providing for the whole community or giving out monogrammed ones. I can’t afford to do that either!!

amother

Yellow

Wed, Jan 31 2018, 9:08 pm

By so many simchas they throw out so much food at the end. One woman did scream that nobody should take but she then threw out food that people could have used. Obviously, someone who is rich and has unlimited budget on food would not worry about taking because they can and will buy any food they want while people on a budget are okay taking especially if it will be thrown out. However, of course nobody should take if the baal simcha minds and it is not the end yet.

Obviously, we can see here that some baal simchas mind and others are VERY HAPPY FOR PPL. TO TAKE EVEN DURING THE SIMCHA!!

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