Seder invitations | Imamother

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 7:56 pm

By when do people usually have their seders figured out?

I cannot host my own seder this year. I can contribute practically and financially.

I'm hoping someone invites us but I don't want to wait too long and leave it to chance. But I also feel extremely uncomfortable to ask anyone that I want an invitation for something as big as a Pesach seder. There are no parents or siblings I could talk to, it would be either friends, neighbors, or maybe cousins.

This is a very uncomfortable situation for me so I'm looking for some support and advice about how these things usually get worked out.

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 8:55 pm

Chabad is not the answer. If they have a communal seder in my area it would be more of a college student event, we need a family seder for young children.

tichellady

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 9:12 pm

I think around now people are starting to make Seder plans. I think you can start with your good friends and family and ask if they would be able to host you this year and you would be happy to contribute

imamothertoo

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 9:19 pm

I’m sorry for the predicament you are in. I would suggest that if u are eventually going to ask friends, neighbors or cousins, the sooner you ask the better. Ppl prefer to know how many ppl they r having at meals before they do their shopping and cooking. Hope it works out for you

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 10:06 pm

Is there a right way to ask "can we crash by you for Pesach?"!!! embarrassed

I wonder if my kids could handle it if we sleep at home and go somewhere different for each meal. They do better with more routine and stability but maybe asking a few people for meals would work better than asking for the whole two days. Though we don't have many neighbors so it would probably mean dragging sleepy kids halfway across town after midnight at least once Confused

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 10:19 pm

We need someone who can lead the seder. I'd rather not go into detail here but we are unable to actually run the seder.

Prep work would also be very difficult especially with Shabbos, it would be easier to just contribute to a shared meal. But that's not the main problem.

amother

Tan

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 10:40 pm

amother wrote:

I see. Sorry for your difficulties. What about inviting a family and having them lead Seder? Or try speaking to your shul rabbi, or the head of the Chessed committee.

chanchy123

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 10:46 pm

amother wrote:

I think it's perfectly reasonable to start asking close friends or family about seder now. I'm assuming they know the situation. You can phrase it as making seder together, rather than them hosting you - since you are happy to cook or contribute financially. Would you like to make seder together this year sounds better I think.
Also maybe you can invite these people to your home with the understanding that they will lead the seder.

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:01 pm

My home is not suitable for hosting another family (too small.)

Yes, the people I would be asking understand my situation. But that doesn't make it easier to ask because then I feel like maybe they would feel guilty saying no and I would really be imposing on them.

It does sound better to say "having the seder together" but really it would just be fooling. It's obvious that I mean "can you have us for the seder and I'll bring a couple of dishes"

Maybe I just needed to vent a little here before I pull up my big girl pants and just ask someone. First I need to decide who to ask. This is so uncomfortable!

salt

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:22 pm

I think you should already ask now.
Could you offer to host your hosts-to-be for Shabbos hagadol - I think that is always a big help - to be invited out the Shabbos before Pesach.

amother

Tan

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:25 pm

amother wrote:

I'm hosting people who invited themselves because they can't make Seder. I'm thrilled they felt they could ask. (I had thought they were going to family but it turns out that there's a situation preventing that, so they asked if they could come.) Go ahead, ask.

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:35 pm

amother wrote:

Do I know you and do you have room for one more small family LOL

ruth

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 12:16 am

amother wrote:

I see. Sorry for your difficulties. What about inviting a family and having them lead Seder? Or try speaking to your shul rabbi, or the head of the Chessed committee.

As a single mom, I've done that:invite a couple in which the husband was Baal Seder.. it worked out well.. and others contributed food or paper goods, drinks, etc.. as you mentioned, this might be better than shlepping the kids... KEEP IT SIMPLE.. the kids will appreciate simple and calm.

But if you feel being at others is the preferred option, start now.. I've gotten invitations already.. ppl are starting to plan now. Speak to rabbaim, shul, school

Take care, here's a hug (((((. ))))

amother

Tan

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 1:34 am

amother wrote:

Do I know you and do you have room for one more small family LOL

Aww, I wish. I've got an overflow crowd here. But you sound like great company.

rivkam

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 1:58 am

If your in Israel, there's people who can set you up for meals especially in Jerusalem. I know my friend would call up Chabad (in the U.S.) and ask if anyone needed yom tov meals and like that they would have guests. It might be worth reaching out to Chabad just to make them aware of your situation.

When I was single, I would often have to invite myself out to meals and there are lovely families who are so happy to have extra people. Daven that Hashem should find you and your children the best place for chag.