Seder invitations | Imamother

imasinger

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 5:05 am

We've gotten seder guests from shabbat.com, so that's a good suggestion.

If you can swallow enough pride, you could tell your rav or rebbetzin the situation, and they might be able to find you a place.

Our shul has a place on their website asking people if they need hospitality, but if you would do that, you could just come to us. Smile

If you would be brave enough to post your location here, you'd probably get more than one invitation.

Hatzlacha!

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 10:34 pm

Thank you for the warm intentions!
BH we do have enough nice friends and neighbors so it would be nicer to be with them on yom tov. It's just hard to ask. I wish someone would think of it first. our situation is not private, they just probably each assume we have someone else to go to already but meanwhile nobody has asked. Sad

They're probably busy enough with their own families getting ready for the chag.

momX4

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 10:40 pm

I find making pesach overwhelming. I am not looking for guests, but if someone invites themselves over I would say yes. I would feel less intimidated about making a fancy seder/meals. If I do the inviting I would feel obligated to go all out, something I have no time or energy for.

If you invite yourself to my house, my family and I would be grateful to have company.

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Mar 08 2018, 4:24 pm

I personally would probably also be embarrassed so I would try with light hinting at first and then get to more blunt hinting: Something like the following:

So I am starting to think about Pesach and I am getting nervous because I don't have a place for the seder yet. What are you doing for the seder?

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Mar 08 2018, 4:30 pm

Op it’s a lot easier for people to have you for a seder or meal, and not put you up for the whole first days. So if you can swing staying home and eating out, I’d focus on that. Also I like the idea above - bring up the topic and see if you can get an invite that way.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Mar 08 2018, 9:58 pm

amother wrote:

True. That's what I'm thinking. The thing is that my choices are a family that we are somewhat close with and each feel very comfortable with each other and love getting together - but doesn't live near us (we have somewhere to sleep nearby but would need to have all meals together), or if we stay at home then the people we would be asking are nice and friendly neighbors or casual friends but not the kind that we would usually spend a seder with if we weren't in a situation.

I do need to hint around but I'm shy to do it because even if it's "hinting" it would be very obvious exactly what I'm getting at. I mean you don't call someone out of the blue, make small talk, and ask what they're doing for the seder when they have a settled family and spent every Pesach at home forever and they know that you know that LOL

ruchelbuckle

Thu, Mar 08 2018, 10:09 pm

amother wrote:

They're probably busy enough with their own families getting ready for the chag.

Thank you for the reminder! Often, we know that people are in a difficult situation and we simply assume that they are being taken care of by their mom, sister, aunt, neighbor, etc... this is a good reminded to always check.

I'm trying to think of anyone in my neighborhood who might need an invitation.....

If possible, I do encourage you to speak to a Rav in your neighborhood, if it all possible. I know that my neighborhood know that our shul Rav has discretely told congregants that Mrs. Smith needs an invitation, or vice versa: I have told him that I would be happy to invite guests, does he know of anyone that might need an invitation...

imasoftov

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 8:17 am

This solution isn't addressed to the OP, but if implemented, will help her. There's a notice in my shul's email (which also gets posted on a bulletin board at the shul for visitors who aren't on the mailing list, but this could also help communities that don't have an email list for whatever reasons) and will be mentioned in the announcements (including after Maariv on Seder night) that if you're interested in either hosting guests or being hosted, here's who to speak to about that, with contact information, or when it's made in shul the announcer says "speak to me after davening".

watergirl

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 8:31 am

This year, two different couples/families have come right out and asked if they can join us for the seder. One asked in December! I hope it wasnt awkward for them. I look at it as a way of fufilling one of the mitzvos of the seder and HKBH has provided me with a way.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 8:43 am

amother wrote:

I do need to hint around but I'm shy to do it because even if it's "hinting" it would be very obvious exactly what I'm getting at. I mean you don't call someone out of the blue, make small talk, and ask what they're doing for the seder when they have a settled family and spent every Pesach at home forever and they know that you know that LOL

I would say, "I will be honest with you, it's difficult for me to say this, but I'm hoping I get invited for the first days because it would mean a lot to me..."
Or, "I hope I'm not calling too close to yomtov, and I want you to know I won't be offended if you say no,.... would you be up for having my family for first days?"