Share your pesach chumrot & minhagim

SixOfWands

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 11:17 am

amother wrote:

Not only was the Korban Pesach eaten in groups, the hagadda begins by inviting guests to join us. The custom of the Jewish people was to have guests. Distrust came later.

This is not my minhag.

But I get it.

The rules of Pesach are so exacting, and people have so many different minhagim and chumrot. Particularly now, we live in a very mixed society where are neighbors may not follow our minhagim because we're from entirely different traditions. So rather than insult others (you eat THAT? -- where that may be something as Pesahdik in my home as matzo balls), they stay home, and insult no one.

watergirl

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 11:26 am

SixOfWands wrote:

I dont have a lot of chumrahs, we eat shmura matza, but our rav says that we can use machine shmura, esp because hand is so expensive and we cant afford to buy a ton.

The post that you quoted made me think - yes, we have been spread around the world and have created different minhaggim. And different chumrahs. But the Torah gave us a clear discription of how they ate the Korban Pesach, and Chazal gave us clear instructions to invite guests.

Maybe we’re missing the mark, and these chumrahs are not what Chazal had in mind. We left mitzrayim as a unit and now with all of this, we are more divided than at any other point during the year. Yes, its only 8 days. But if its the wrong thing (not saying I think it is and NOT saying people are wrong, this is just a philisophical and theoretical thought), then only 8 days is a big deal.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 11:32 am

No chumras here except standard no kitniyot growing up. However, this year will be one less chumra! DH and I made aliyah, and with the blessings of all parties involved (parents and Rabbis) we will be doing hatarat nedarim and joining the kitniyot eaters. Chummus on Peach? Yes please!

Cute story: my mother has this wooden spatula she calls a "misher". Never knew why she called it that, I always thought she made up a cutesy name. Then I discover Imamother and someone started a thread about mishing. Lightbulb moment! I was so excited to learn there was a reason for the name.

mha3484

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 11:35 am

We only have a few b'h.

We only eat shmura matzah and DH really really prefers hand over machine so we make it work.

When we first got married, DH wanted to peel everything and I protested so we compromise and we shop for produce before yomtov, clean it well with a veggie wash and any chametz or kinitos is buttle with kol chamira. If I run out during chol ha moed I use frozen veggies.

No fresh garlic or mushrooms.

We dont soak the matzoh in water which is from how I learned it, is really what gebrokts is. We do eat thick spreads like cream cheese, avocado, butter on the matzah.

Last edited by mha3484 on Wed, Mar 07 2018, 11:40 am; edited 1 time in total

Mommyg8

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 11:36 am

SixOfWands wrote:

I really appreciate this post.

My family (the one I grew up in) has all these chumros, plus. They don't mish - which means that they will not buy any store bought products on pesach. They make an exception for potato starch and oil (making your own potato starch and rendering the chicken fat is just a tiny drop too hard in the year 2018), but that's pretty much it. (Oh, and wine and also cheese for some reason).

The family that I married into (my husband's family) eats EVERYTHING on pesach (except chometz!) including machine matzo, matzoh balls, etc. I don't think one way is better than the other way - it's a matter of following your family's minhagim. I really don't think it's right to make fun of minhagim that are passed down from generations.

Thank you, Six, for being so broad-minded.

amother

Burgundy

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 12:05 pm

My inlaws are chassidish yet my fil claims that if an item says kosher l'pesach on it then he will use it on pesach. He allows eating tuna, ketchup, any and all jarred canned food etc etc.
I grew up that everthing is prepared at home from scratch but some items like potato starch, basic dairy products: milk, leben, yogurt, cheese are bought. We only use vegetables that can be peeled, no garlic and spices used are only salt, pepper, onion powder and paprika.

When hubby and I got married I was in for a shock that inlaws eat whatever they want besides for gebrokts. Told hubby when we have kids we can't pick and choose. I was always taught that pesach is the main yomtov that goes according to mesorah so we gotta decide are we going to do pesach like his parents or mine.
We decided that pesach would look like the pesach I grew up with (FYI hubbys grandparents hold pesach like I grew up so it wasnt hard for hubby to change his pesach habits)

Pesach is a yomtov where its ok if you dont have all your favorite foods. Nothing will happen, you can survive a week without eating matzah dipped into anything or ketchup or dips and other food items. Thats what pesach is about, its supposed to be different than all year round

cnc

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 12:21 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

I grew up the same way that you did except that my mother does make potato starch and shmaltz. (Maybe we are related as you mentioned on the other thread. Wink

)
My husband’s family eats most store bought products and I adapted his minhagim. My parents will obviously not eat by me on Pesach because I use things that they don’t .

Chana Miriam S

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 12:27 pm

I keep kosher for pesach year round because I don’t eat grain or starch and mostly our diet consists of vegetables and meat protein. I’ll make Matza balls for others and guests but they’ll be separate from the soup. My daughter will make her Matza been herself, but we are buying a minimum of matzah and other non low carb items. We are making sugar and fruit free Haroset for the low carbers. I have a heter not to eat matzah. My husband and son will eat the minimum required.

It’s funny how things work out.

mommyla

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 12:28 pm

watergirl wrote:

The post that you quoted made me think - yes, we have been spread around the world and have created different minhaggim. And different chumrahs. But the Torah gave us a clear discription of how they ate the Korban Pesach, and Chazal gave us clear instructions to invite guests.

Inviting guests isn't the problem. BEING the guest is the problem for many (not my family).

We don't have any interesting minhagim, my family eats pretty much everything except gebrokts and kitniyos, and my husband's family does eat gebrokts, so now we do too Very Happy

My family has the minhag not to eat any matzah products (including matzah meal and matzah balls) from Purim until after Pesach. Again, my husband's family doesn't have that minhag, so we happily eat our matzah balls throughout the year.

I have one sister whose husband's family makes everything from scratch, including mayonnaise and condiments, and I don't think I'd be able to hack it! And we have friends who don't use oil, only schmaltz, so they're literally fleishig for eight days - eggs for breakfast are fleishig, anything besides for fresh produce is fleishig... even the cookies and cakes are fleishig. Glad I don't have that minhag!

watergirl

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 12:57 pm

mommyla wrote:

Re: the bolded. Obviously. I know that. And thats what I’m thinking about as a potential issue with Chazal and the Korban Pesach. In our never ending quest to be the best Jews that we can be, do we overshoot and miss the mark? If Chazal tells us to have guests, then its obviously implied that one needs to BE a guest! We are told to BE guests also!

simcha2

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 1:00 pm

amother wrote:

Does it make you (or dh) sad, that this means you'll never have Seder by his parents? (Not judging, just curious)

amother

Taupe

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 1:01 pm

watergirl wrote:

The concept of inviting guests to the Seder is to invite those who are needy, not just to be friendly and sociable. If someone is needy but being too frum to eat out when invited and therefore not doing a proper seder- well, yes, he is missing the mark. BH for most people that's not the case, and we also have organizations that provide raw food products to those in need so they can keep their pride and lead a Seder at home.

watergirl

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 1:03 pm

amother wrote:

I hear you. I somewhat agree. I still feel that this may not be what we’re supposed to do.

amother

Burgundy

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 1:12 pm

simcha2 wrote:

Does it make you (or dh) sad, that this means you'll never have Seder by his parents? (Not judging, just curious)

Not sad at all! In fact my inlaws always had the seder with the grandparents so problem solved. After the grandfather passed away my inlaws started coming to us for pesach.

flowerpower

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 2:07 pm

Re: "mishing" - We do eat by family of course. We have guests almost every meal and at the sedarim as well. We just don't eat at friends and the adults in the house don't eat bought cookies or cake. I bake plenty so it's not an issue.
My family has a yurtzeit sueda on Pesach. My mom serves cut up melons, nuts with nutcrackers next to it, matzo, and hard boiled eggs....The extended family that comes won't eat her cooked food( many will but not all).
When it comes to Pesach everyone has a lot of their own minhagim. It's really interesting to see.

amother

Violet

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 5:09 pm

No gebrokts
No garlic
All fruits and vegetables peeled
Only processed food/ingredients we use are matza, potato starch, sugar, honey, salt, oil, grape juice, and milk. In other words, we don't buy dairy products, cocoa, ground nuts, any other spices. EVERYTHING is made from scratch or we do without.

My in-laws are even stricter that they don't use certain vegetables even those that can be peeled because there's no mesorah for using them, for example: squash, cucumbers (something to do with seeds looking like wheat kernels?), sweet potato, tomatoes, etc.
They also don't eat fish.

When I stay home for Pesach, although it's common to accept the husband's minhagim, I will take on my parents' minhagim simply because I can't be even more restricted. It's my kitchen, I keep minhagim the way I know them. I doubt DH will care cuz he has no issue eating at my parents' house.