How many years married did you make pesach ?

amother

Violet

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 6:48 pm

Every year for 32 Yrs.
First was just DH and I.
Starting with the second yr. I've always had tons of guests.
I wish I could have a break and go to the in-laws.
Early years would have been possible, but the invitation never came.
They've came to us many times, even post partum after c-sections.
Seder night was 5 days after I gave birth.

cooksallday

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 7:58 pm

We got married 2 weeks before pesach, and went right into making pesach that year and every year after (married almost 4 years bh). First year was nice BC everything we bought for our apt was klp anyways. Unlike most friends, we don't have Frum parents or in laws who offered to host us so we have been on our own. We used to go out for meals but now we usually stay home and host friends. I like the independence and every year it gives me a chance to spoil myself in increasing my pesach inventory Smile

. Truth is this year is easy, no 3 day yt.

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 8:43 pm

Im married fifteen and a half years. Started making chol hamoed and second days when I was married about five years. I chose to stop going to my in-laws as it was too stressful and my parents werent making YT anymore....we made sedarim for the last four years. It's a ton of hard work, but there's no place like home... In retrospect I would do things differently if given a choice. I'm burned out of making YT at a very young age:(

amother

Olive

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 9:03 pm

First time we made a Seder my oldest was in kindergarten and we were married 5 years. Those who have parents who graciously allow you to move in, please be grateful. You'll be making pesach iyH for many years. I had an early start and sometimes gets to me.

gold21

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 9:08 pm

bigsis144 wrote:

Making it for the first time this year, just celebrated our 10th anniversary.

Both our families live far away (DH’s family an 8 hour drive, my parents a 6 hour flight), and this is our yearly chance for our kids to see their grandparents and family.

(Maybe I’m just insecure but I feel like the “I am utterly self-reliant, if you have any money or help or a functional family you are spoiled” side of imamother is going to come after me now, hence my disclaimer about this being important family time...)

My in-laws are coming to sleep at our home the whole yomtov, plus 1 unmarried sibling of DH and 1 married sibling with spouse and toddler sleeping over too. It’s not the Pesach cleaning that scares me, just hosting that many people for yomtov!

Haha. True, there are definitely elements on Imamother that don't approve of any parental assistance ever.

How dare you go to your parents for Pesach, gosh, you're just sooo spoiled!

Anyways, I've never made my own Pesach yet. I'm such a brat. I know. I'm just very lazy like that. (Married over a decade)

#sad

(P.S. B"H my parents and in laws very very much enjoy our company over Yom Tov. B"H I don't enjoy scrubbing my house from top to bottom if I don't have to. I'm much too busy getting my nails done and applying face masks.)

Chayalle

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 9:24 am

I was married for 6 years the first time we made Pesach, and hosted my parents, four single siblings for whole Y"T, plus one married sister, her husband, and two little kids for the first days.

The previous year I saw how hard Y"T was for my mother A"H, who was already sick with Parkinson's. I helped out as much as I could, and felt that in hindsight, it would've been easier to stay home and make Y"T at my own pace, plus my at-that-time two daughters would be in their own beds. I spent the whole winter convincing my parents that it was time to move on, and they would come to me.

I hosted my parents for Pesach for the next 12 years, until my mother needed too much care to come and was in a care facility, and I've continued to host my father, except for one year when he went to my brothers in E"Y. We were very lonely that year, even though we had other company.

amother

Purple

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 9:53 am

I'm coming up on my 14th anniversary and have yet to make Pesach even once. We always split the time between my parents and my in laws except for the one year that I was due right after Pesach and couldn't face packing up and moving twice (I ended up giving birth on the last day of Pesach anyway).

I don't kasher my kitchen so I can't cook and bring food like I would for a normal Shabbos or other Yom Tov. Instead, I help as much as possible on Pesach itself and try to make things easier for my mom and MIL before Pesach by inviting them for Shabbos Hagadol so they can turn over their kitchens sooner.

We did some work in our basement after a flood and had the contractor put in the plumbing and electrical work necessary in order to eventually install a rudimentary Pesach kitchen in the laundry room. I envision getting this done sometime in the next few years and then I expect that our parents will eventually start coming to us for Pesach like they sometimes do for other yomim tovim.

I think making Pesach for the first time is daunting because you have to start from scratch from cooking utensils to dishes to appliances to pantry basics. There's no such thing as running out of time to make an appetizer and pulling out some soup from your freezer. For those of us who are procrastinators by nature or not the most organized people, making Pesach seems incredibly difficult. For those of you who have a routine and a schedule down pat, that probably sounds ridiculous.

frumPA

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 12:30 pm

First year married went to Il's for whole thing. After that stayed home for just chol hamoed a couple of yrs with not koshering at all and then yes koshering and just cooking chol hamoed. We slept at home since married 1.5 yrs and ate all the meals out, we walked. At 4.5 yrs we made second days and then 5.5 yrs we started making a seder and are very happy to be home and love it. We do walk to in laws for 1 seder since they really want us to come so we do that. For anyone that has the option to do it slowly like this I highly recommend it as its much easier. You slowly acquire stuff and get used to it slowly and not just everything at once...

Chana Miriam S

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 1:57 pm

I’ve always made pesach even the years we went away. I don’t exactly recall when we made our first Seder though because both sets of parents or various other families did it for a while. It’s been at least 15 years of doing both seders at our house but maybe there were earlier years too. Not sure. On the other hand, seders aren’t such a big deal to me because ‘caterer.’