How to make the Seder/hagaddah fun but also meaningful for ?

amother

Beige

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 10:44 pm

(Anon because I've been asking everyone irl).
I have ideas for how to make the Seder "fun" and give out treats for questions/answers, etc. I don't only want it to be fun, but meaningful. How do you actually go through the hagaddah? Does dh read and kids translate in English? (My kids struggle with kriah so having them read it in Hebrew themselves wouldn't work well for the whole thing). Do you read it all together?
Please share tips, ideas, and any nice minhag you've come up with to make your kids feel like the Seder is one of the most awesome nights of the year. Tia!!

amother

Black

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 10:49 pm

I have the Gadi Pollack haggadah and I LOVE IT. It's totally immersive. It has gorgeous full-spread illustrations that throw you right into sipur yetzias mitztrayim. Anon because I rant to everyone about it IRL. One year we forgot it at home, and I was devastated—it felt like the seder that year was not the same.

I can see it being very good for kids who are not so great at reading, since it's so pictorial.

amother

Copper

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 11:03 pm

How old are they? We have a basic "reward system" that we change up a bit every year, where the kids get tokens of some sort - some years it's puzzle pieces for a new Pesach-themed puzzle, game pieces, "dollars" to be redeemed - for asking/answering questions and participating in any capacity (sharing something from their hagaddah, acting out a makkah, whatever). We give them out freely and regularly and get them very excited, then when we're reading through the more boring parts they get on the floor and put the puzzle together/play the game/have a plastic frog-jumping contest. It works out really well for us, kids ages 10 and under (but my sister does it with older kids).

seeker

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 11:16 pm

My strategy for the "how do you go through the haggadah" part of your question is "fast." I think any attempt to explain etc just overreaches most kids' attention span. Play up all the nice tunes you have, make it exciting once in a while like the makkos, but otherwise just get through those pages before you lose the kids. Focus on the other parts of the seder, and any further storytelling you want to expand on you can do during the meal (or at intervals before and during zooming through the rest of maggid.)

I am talking about English-speaking kids, not sure if the maggid text is more engaging for native Hebrew-speakers but I'm going to guess it is still longer than their attention span.

doctorima

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 10:02 am

Check out this amazing website that has TONS of original ideas to bring the Seder to life, especially for kids (I have no connection to the author, but DH once came across it and has successfully implemented many of his ideas into our family Seder): http://yechielweberman.weebly.com/

cbg

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 10:27 am

doctorima wrote:

Thanks for such a great site

keym

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 10:28 am

I have so much to say because seder is our favorite night of the year.
1) naps erev pesach.
2) soup chicken kugel before licht bentchen so no ones hungry.
3) treats- chocolate, candy, chips, cake, during the seder.
But also real nosh like apple slices. Keep the kids happy and full. (Btw the treat things have sources un SA I think.)
4) erev pesach I give my older kids sticky colored tabs. They go through their school haggadahs and divide their vertlach into all yom tov meals (so this year 8). This way they dont need to say everything the first night, causing fights and boredom for the others.
5) we move quickly through the first part so the kids arent done by "vayered mitzrayim"- the pesukim that are the actual story- what we hold is the actual chiyuv to tell the kids.
6) kids read haggada, my husband or I translate.
7) hallel- we sing the whole thing out loud. Either with traditional songs or tunes my husband put the words to.
8) my husband will randomly tell the kids to stand on their chairs for a paragraph-to keep the kids up.
9) we have a special pesach toy that the kids can bring to the table only seder night.
10) treats are given for question, answers, listening, participation, or staying near the table.
11) chatzos for afikomen is non negotiable so we pace ourselves to be finished maggid BY an hour until chatzos.
12) after the seder, everyone puts on pjs and sits with my husband on the couch.He reads them midrashim about yetzias mitzrayim until they fall asleep or alos- whichever comes first.

Wow. That was a lot. Sorry.

amother

Blonde

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 10:32 am

Two things that work well in our house:

1. My husband has a stash of candies and he tosses them to the kids every time they share a dvar torah, ask a good question, or make a comment on the haggadah. For the younger kids, this includes singing any songs they learned in school (Paraoh in Pajamas in the Middle of the Night...). The kids end up looking for ways to participate, just to earn a candy.
Saying Ma Nishtana is rewarded with one of those extra long marshmallow twists.

2. We go around the table in order and everyone takes turns reading a few lines from the Haggada, in the language of their choice (we are in the U.S. and our extended family has a very mixed background). There are absolutely no judgments about reading in Hebrew or English since the Haggada is supposed to be understood by the reader, so those that have a hard time with Hebrew read out loud in English. The younger kids can't wait until they are old enough to read and participate like the big kids/adults. Since we only do a few lines at a time, they pay attention, waiting for their turn to come again. We do this for the entire Maggid.

unexpected

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 10:33 am

When my kids were little, my husband made a recording of the entire Haggadah (we sing it in the nusach of davening) and I played it a bunch of times in the house. Like this, by the time we got to Seder, the kids were familiar with it and sang together. It was beautiful. I still play that recording in my house erev Pesach and everyone loves it...

seeker

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 12:44 pm

Excellent post, keym!

I want to add a tip that I picked up from a different family we visited once, that worked amazingly. Instead of trying to get the kids to nap in middle of the day (which never worked great for me, they're not tired yet) she just gave them supper and put them to bed a little earlier than usual. By the time everyone was ready for the seder, they had napped sufficiently and were woken up just in time for kiddush. Worked better the second day of course because the kids were more tired and the seder gets set up later, but that's OK because they are not as tired the first night anyway, and if they fall asleep before the seder is over then that's just what kids do.

Also, if a kid does fall asleep in middle of the seder, let them stay sleeping on the chair/couch/lap. I have a very vivid memory of when I was a little kid I started to fall asleep at the table and was sent to the bedroom and I cried in my sleep because I knew I was too tired to stay at the table and yet I so missed hearing the rest of hallel and nirtza, which were coming through faintly from the other room.

keym

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 12:55 pm

seeker wrote:

Interesting idea. Maybe it would work for my toddlers and preschools. But I am strict on two hours in bed even for my 8, 10, & 12 yr old after showers.

keym

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 1:15 pm

seeker wrote:

But how do you make that happen? Mine are so restless.

Truthfully I encourage them to stay up for all or part of bedikas chametz. (Starts after dark so past 8:30 at least). And erev pesach is early with davening, biur.
I make a big lunch- meatballs or hamburgers or chicken w mashed potatoes. Baths/showers. By 2:30, they are tired and willing to sleep for 11/2-2 hours.

Teomima

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 3:46 pm

We have a bunch of mismatched hagaddahs and everyone takes whichever they want. We go around the table, taking turns reading, and everyone reads in whichever language they like. It's always interesting hearing the different translations from the different books.

Also, something we've done some years that was a huge success, is I made tons of various silly hats and everyone had one to wear. Every time someone asked a question, we'd pass the hats to the right. It was great because it kept everyone on their toes, encouraged questions, and kept the kids entertained.

OutATowner

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 7:03 pm

Wow, thanks everyone! (Op here, going under my sn). These are all great ideas and dh and I were able to discuss how to pace the Seder. going to implement a lot of these ideas. Especially love the Pesach bingo. Keym, thank you for your long post! And to everyone who responded!

amother

Brown

Mon, Mar 12 2018, 10:31 pm

This thread is actually making me a bit sad. Dh will not do any of these things. Shabbos meals are so boring. I have to entertain serve and everything else. My kids are 3,5,7, and 8.5. They love stories but dh is sooo not the type! I want them to have a good time! I just sent that link to dh.