Single mom working for first time (Accounting)

amother

Cerulean

Tue, May 29 2018, 3:57 am

(amother due to identifying information)

I was a "professional SAHM" (as I liked to think of it) for over a decade. Times changed, my husband and I divorced, and I am now looking for what is essentially my first ever full-time job. I was b"H able to go back to school and take accounting classes, with the goal of iy"H starting the CPA exam this fall.

But, how on Earth am I supposed to make this work? I know nothing about balancing my work obligations against my family obligations... how do I handle school drop-off/pick up, someone watching my kids if they ch'v get sick, making Shabbos, laundry (I use a laundromat, there is no machine in my apartment and my complex doesn't have enough machines to tackle the amount of laundry that my ka'h brood produces in a week), making sure that the bathroom gets cleaned as often as you'd expect it to need cleaning when you ka'h have an army of children, I mean really, HOW?!? I B"H did much better in school than I expected, and I am b"H ka'h in a position to interview with Big 4, but is that even remotely possible? Would I have to hire an Au Pair (or, more realistically, marry a SAHM) for that to work? I hate the thought of being away from my kids that many hours a week, but I have bills to pay, and if I can put in a few years at a large firm my overall earning potential is iy"H much better.

For arguments sake, assume that making time for dating isn't a factor, since there's nobody to date where I live, and I don't have time to fly in-town while taking the CPA exam.

Thank you!!!

33055

Tue, May 29 2018, 7:27 am

amother wrote:

MAZOL TOV!!! That's quite an accomplishment. You made it work while raising children.

I had my kids after I had work obligations set up, so I had the opposite situation. You grow into it. My day was a combo work / home obligations throughout. I would do work at home late into the night.

BH you will be making a nice salary.

School drop offs and pick ups - hire a SAHM or driver. If you had a nanny who drove, that would be ideal.

Someone to watch your kids - hire a SAHM for routine illnesses if you don't have a nanny.

Laundry - get a pickup and drop off service. Have them fold. See if you can them to sort. Have the nanny put the clothes away.

Bathrooms - you do it when you are home if you don't have a nanny. I had the nannies do the light housework including the kids bathroom and their own. I had a twice a month heavy duty cleaner come in.

You can delegate much of the housework and logistics of running a family.

Do you have any family or friends or support for yourself?

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, May 29 2018, 8:39 am

OP, this is so weird! I came on this site this morning to post something very, very similar, and I was really taken aback at your post!

I could have written your post word for word, but for a few exceptions - I am still married, and I have no plans of working for the "big four" in the very near future (I wish! this is my dream! But I know that this is extremely not practical).

I am trying to figure out if it is even doable to work full time, especially as I plan on taking the CPA test as well. I have been stalking the online CPA forum for some time, and I have spoken to many women who have taken the CPA - and the consensus has been unanimous - studying for the CPA test is extraordinarily time consuming. People mention having zero time for themselves, or for any social life whatsoever - and this is random people on online forums who don't have kids. The frum women I have spoken to were either single or newly married and had much less responsibilities than I do, they were all very, very bright, and yet they have all told me that this is extremely hard and extraordinarily time consuming.

I keep adding this up in my head, and it's just not adding up - I'm good at math, and I'm very much aware that numbers are not flexible - the hours just don't add up.

I have no idea how to work full time, study for the CPA, and give my children quality time all at the same time - do you think this is even possible? Like I said, I just don't see it...

For you, the only thing I can think of is if you have family who can pitch in for the year to year and a half that you will be studying for the CPA? This is the only suggestion that makes sense to me.

I wonder if we could pm off this forum, as it would be nice to speak to someone who is in the same boat as me... thanks!

amother

Seafoam

Tue, May 29 2018, 9:06 am

CPA who worked for Big 4 weighing in:
You sound incredible, but I don't know how you could do this- hate to be Negative Nancy and other CPAs please feel free to chime in with opposing viewpoints!
Studying for CPA is almost a full time job by itself. I've had 2 different college professors who were both lawyers and accountants who both said that the bar exam was an absolute joke compared to the CPA exam. Just saying this to underscore how hard the CPA is and how much time you'll need to devote studying for it. Don't see how you could do that while being a single mom and already working for a Big 4.

Then there's the Big 4 work: During busy season, I regularly worked till after midnight. I was an exhausted wreck and this was before I had any kids (although I was pregnant). Yet, Big 4 experience is basically your ticket to good future jobs with hopefully some flexibility. (Btw, are you looking to work in tax or audit? Whole 'nother conversation and big ramifications for each.)

Maybe I would do this: try to get a Big 4 job, deal with your household as the other posters suggested above, try to survive a few years (while getting good pay, possibly good experience, and even better, a great resume builder), then after several years transfer somewhere else with less cut-throat hours and more flexibility, and then study for the CPA.

nicole81

Tue, May 29 2018, 9:53 am

OP, I just want to say that what you have accomplished so far is amazing.

I've been through this (different career though), and I definitely recommend going where your earnings potential is greatest. Initially it will be a huge sacrifice time wise and financially, but it will pay off when you can easily take care of yourself, your kids, and have secured your financial future.

Just to address the specifics of your post, what would be best for your situation will depend on how many kids you have, their ages, and schools. I hired a morning sitter who helped get the kids ready, put one on the bus, walked another one to school, and then cleaned my house for two hours a day. Then at a different point, I had my kids' father doing drop offs. As for after school, I enrolled one of my children in after care, and another was watched by a neighbor, her dad, or I sent her on playdates.

I spent enormous amounts of money on babysitters in the evenings so I could get things done, take care of myself, go to school, etc. When my kids were sick or had days off, it was definitely a challenge and I ended up hiring the most random people to watch them. It took a whole lot of networking to find people, but eventually I had a core group that I could call for the job. If your children's father is involved in their lives, remember that he can split this responsibility.

As for laundry, use a service. Some even have delivery.

Shabbos- keep it simple. I used to get preseasoned and marinated kebabs, grill them with vegetables, and throw up a packet of couscous. The kids were happy. If they're older and need more than this, let them help.

Hire cleaning help to come while you're at work. Or depending on the age of your kids and your financial situation, it might be better worth it to hire a full time sitter and housekeeper.

In all honesty, looking back at that time in my life, I don't know how I got through it. It was insane. I ran myself ragged. But after about two years, things got easier. And after three years, my salary doubled, and BH it's only been up from there. I'm at a different place in my life right now, but BH I'm very happy and have a great home/work balance. Even remarried, we would have never been able to live life like we do if it wasn't for my career. I say to take a leap of faith that it will all work out somehow, and go for it. And definitely spend money wherever you can on all those extras that will make your life easier, it will help you to survive. I personally spent many many MANY thousands of student loan dollars on everything but education expenses to help me through my first two years, which was absolutely worth it in every way.

amother

Emerald

Tue, May 29 2018, 11:27 am

An au pair or full time nanny is your best option if you have young kids and limited outside support. Public accounting is really hard in the beginning, part time won't be an option for the first couple of years and even then part time is still a lot of hours and way more days then the kids have school. You need someone at home for all the days off school and sick days and before and after school which my kids schools don't offer. Not having to scramble is a huge stress relief. It's pricey but I considered it an investment in my career. If you can find a family to share with that makes it more affordable.

sheindl

Tue, May 29 2018, 11:39 am

Hi I'm in exactly the same situation as you!
I would love to PM off this forum.
Let's be in touch!

amother wrote:

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, May 29 2018, 12:20 pm

Big 4 is very demanding. I worked in a public accounting firm that was big (but not big 4) and I was married and it was still very very difficult. We took our kids to a babysitter for long hours and I did not have cleaning help. We definitely lowered our standards on things and our kids did get less attention. My kids were young so I think it didn't impact them as much. There are a lot of logistic to figure out especially as kids get older like carpooling and homework. For public accounting I would recommend putting in 2 years and then getting out, to be able to have a more flexible schedule.

Depending on your kids ages it might depend what you want to focus on first (I.e. CPA, big 4...) It might make sense to start off slower in a drop less competitive environment while studying for your CPA. Or start off in big 4 and hold off with CPA. I just couldn't imagine doing both while a single mom and juggling all your other responsibilities.

Hatzlacha with whatever you decide!

watergirl

Tue, May 29 2018, 12:56 pm

amother wrote:

Sorry, OP, for hijacking your thread, I just think it would be silly to open my own thread with the exact same question (almost).

To all those who responded - do you think it's doable to work partish time (such as nine to three, or nine to four) in a smaller firm, while studying for the CPA and being a mother to a medium size family?

WADR, your question is not the exact same at all. Its not all on your head and your situation is totally different. I do think it would be better and more sensitive to OP to open another thread.

amother

Honeydew

Tue, May 29 2018, 1:00 pm

Hi OP,

I didn’t take the CPA exam, but I did take and pass the CA bar on my first try with 3 kids under three. The bar is different because it’s given in three consecutive days and you can’t break it up like the CPA. I also work full time now, often at the office until 10pm when I am busy.

You’re going to need help - with cleaning, cooking and childcare. A lot depends on the ages of your kids and their school schedule. I found that an afternoon nanny who will also do light housework and errands (picking up groceries or dry cleaning) is really helpful.

When I was studying for the bar, my DH was also working long hours. A nice lady from shul would come to my house and cook a few meals for us and put them in the freezer once every week or two.

Having someone come deep clean once every two weeks is also very helpful.

See what you can have delivered - groceries etc. This saves a lot of time.

I just had to figure out a pretty rigid schedule to be able to maximize my work/study time and time with my kids.

Some people love having an au pair, but I think you need to provide them with a car, and you need to have room to offer them housing.

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, May 29 2018, 1:04 pm

watergirl wrote:

WADR, your question is not the exact same at all. Its not all on your head and your situation is totally different. I do think it would be better and more sensitive to OP to open another thread.

I am sorry if this was insensitive, and I ask forgiveness of the OP if posting on this thread has hurt her.

My husband works very long hours with zero flexibility (and I also have zero family help) so I thought that some of the ideas that would work for her would work for me as well.

Again, I apologize. Thank you for pointing this out to me, watergirl.

amother

Honeydew

Tue, May 29 2018, 1:41 pm

OP, a word of encouragement: I found that as a mom, I was able to study far more efficiently than my peers who didn’t have kids. I’m convinced that I was able to maximize my time and focus a lot better than they were. Just treat studying like a job - make a schedule for yourself and stick to it.

My grades in law school actually went UP after I had my first (twins). You can totally do this - just figure out the logistics, which is what I think you came here for in the first place.