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amother
Magenta
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 Tue, Nov 06 2018, 7:07 pm
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It started very innocently, and lasted five years. Haven't had a xanax in more than a year. AMA.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 7:14 pm
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What were you taking it for? How much were you taking?
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amother
Orchid
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 7:25 pm
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Did you go to meetings or have any other support? What made you decide you had to stop? How long did it take to wean off? How are you dealing with anxiety now?
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simba
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 7:28 pm
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How did you get the pills once your medical prescription ran out?
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amother
Wheat
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 7:34 pm
How did you handle the physical withdrawal symptoms?
Do you have any lasting damage from extended xanax use?
Do you still desire xanax?
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amother
Magenta
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 7:59 pm
| amother wrote: | | What were you taking it for? How much were you taking? |
It started very innocently. I was staying at someone's home for yom tov and couldn't sleep. At 5 am I was going out for a walk and one of the women said she has something for me. Someone in her family is a pharmacist, so she has a stash of ''stuff''. She gave me a bottle of .25 of xanax.
Was I taking it for sleep? Or for anxiety that was keeping me from sleeping? I don't know the answer.
When the bottle was done, I went to my doctor and asked for more. My doctor gave me a new script.
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amother
Magenta
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 8:03 pm
After awhile, .25 didn't have an effect on me. I started taking 2 tablets.
Next time I went to the doctor I told her I'm taking .5, so she gave me a new script for .5
I stayed on .5 for awhile. At some point I had intense stress and .5 wasn't cutting it any more. The most I ever took was 2 mg. At 2 mg my doctor started to say something. She said it's a lot and that I could become addicted. I told her without sleep I can't function. So she continued to give it to me.
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amother
Honeydew
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 8:05 pm
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amother
Magenta
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 8:05 pm
| amother wrote: | | Did you go to meetings or have any other support? What made you decide you had to stop? How long did it take to wean off? How are you dealing with anxiety now? |
Meetings? Like OA? No. Didn't go to those meetings. Any other support? Yes. But not traditional.
What made me decide to stop? The stress I had been living with for five years disappeared. Also, the new doctor who was prescribing them was quite a commute and I wasn't in the mood of going to him just for this. The fact that the stressor had ended made it no longer a priority to get these pills.
How long to wean off? A few weeks or a few months. I don't remember. It's been too long. I titrated very slowly.
How am I dealing with anxiety now? In other words, how am I dealing with my sleep problem? If stress comes up over my head, I reach out for real support. I often, though not always, receive the support that makes the tension go away and then I can sleep again. Sometimes it's as simple as getting help to pay a bill.
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amother
Magenta
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 8:07 pm
| simba wrote: | | How did you get the pills once your medical prescription ran out? |
My doctor gave me new scripts.
When she didn't want to give me more I went to a new doctor who continued to give it to me. He felt strongly that sleep is critical for health, and if xanax was the only thing that helped me fall asleep he was willing to prescribe it.
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amother
Wheat
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 8:14 pm
| amother wrote: | It started very innocently. I was staying at someone's home for yom tov and couldn't sleep. At 5 am I was going out for a walk and one of the women said she has something for me. Someone in her family is a pharmacist, so she has a stash of ''stuff''. She gave me a bottle of .25 of xanax.
Was I taking it for sleep? Or for anxiety that was keeping me from sleeping? I don't know the answer.
When the bottle was done, I went to my doctor and asked for more. My doctor gave me a new script. |
How much were you taking at the peak of your addiction?
Were you abusing it or taking more than prescribed?
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amother
Magenta
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 8:18 pm
| amother wrote: | How did you handle the physical withdrawal symptoms?
Do you have any lasting damage from extended xanax use?
Do you still desire xanax? |
How did I handle the physical withdrawal symptoms? I titrated very carefully. I broke each tablet in half, then quarters, then thirds, etc.
Do I have any lasting damage? Such as?
Do I still desire xanax? Yes. Some nights when I see I've fallen into that pothole of being unable to fall asleep I want to reach for a xanax. But I don't. Instead, I search inside my body and heart and identify the stressor, then I reach out for human support instead of knocking myself into dreamland with xanax. If I didn't have people to reach out to, I'd probably go for a xanax every now and then.
I continued to carry xanax with me for a while, ''just in case''. And I recently noticed that I went away for a few days without packing xanax.
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amother
Magenta
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Tue, Nov 06 2018, 8:20 pm
| amother wrote: | How much were you taking at the peak of your addiction?
Were you abusing it or taking more than prescribed? |
I didn't see myself as an addict. I was taking it to help me fall asleep. At the peak I was taking 2 mg. I can't remember if that was a prescribed dose or not. I was always mindful about taking the least amount necessary.
All I really wanted was to get a night's sleep so I could wake up to the kids and take care of them.
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