How do I make his payos curl?

amother

Coffee

Sun, Dec 16 2018, 6:51 pm

In some ( most?) Jewish community you are judge by your looks!
If a boy’s peyos is not perfectly curly= mother is a slob. This might affect his shidduchim suggestions and his whole family suggestions.
Sorry, it’s not pretty, but it’s the reality.
It’s all about your image!

Surrendered

Sun, Dec 16 2018, 10:49 pm

I'm so excited to share my trick!
I asked 2 mothers the trick to their sons perfectly permed-look payis. Guess what? Just wrap the payis around a STRAW for a few seconds (can add gel)- Wala!!! Perfect permed look. Applause

imamother153

Sun, Dec 16 2018, 11:00 pm

Curling boys payos for a few minutes in the morning with gel doesn’t turn him into a superficial bochur that’s into his looks. From what I’ve seen and heard by the time they reach that age the payos naturally curl even though originally straight.

(My boy has super straight payes. It doesn’t take more than a few minutes to curl his payos in the morning with some gel.)

gamanit

Sun, Dec 16 2018, 11:16 pm

IME sugar water holds better than hair gel. I usually just wrap it around my finger. Pulling my finger out is a delicate process though Smile

imamother153

Sun, Dec 16 2018, 11:23 pm

gamanit wrote:

IME sugar water holds better than hair gel. I usually just wrap it around my finger. Pulling my finger out is a delicate process though Smile

I tried sugar water. Didn’t hold at all. My neighbor claims lemon water is even better but I didn’t try it.

gamanit

Sun, Dec 16 2018, 11:29 pm

imamother153 wrote:

I tried sugar water. Didn’t hold at all. My neighbor claims lemon water is even better but I didn’t try it.

How much sugar did you put? How much water? And how much altogether did you put on the hair? It's supposed to be pretty much as much sugar as can get dissolved in the water and put only enough to make the hair damp. If it's too wet it's not good.

imasoftov

Mon, Dec 17 2018, 12:09 am

amother wrote:

Am I alone in feeling there’s something mildly icky and overly girlish about getting all worked up about forcing curls on a boy with naturally straight hair ? Sure the curls are cute but what message are you giving the kid? That it’s all about appearance, and his natural self isn’t good enough. You probably won’t turn him into a faigalah but you may be turning him into a superficial fop. Just the idea of bochrim wielding curling irons, curlers and setting gel turns my stomach.

I don't think children of any gender should be dress-up dolls for their mothers but the rest of your post is monstrous. I don't feel icky, it's you I want to turn a fire hose on.

imasoftov

Mon, Dec 17 2018, 12:10 am

amother wrote:

In some ( most?) Jewish community you are judge by your looks!

'round these parts you become a Rabbinic court judge by getting Yadin Yadin semicha, passing an exam, and then having lots of protektzia ...

amother

Bronze

Mon, Dec 17 2018, 12:25 am

Surrendered wrote:

Ooh a straw is much less annoying than pipe cleaners for sure! I have successfully used straws in my wavy hair before but not totally straight hair so can’t attest its efficacy.

Ruchel

Mon, Dec 17 2018, 6:13 am

amother wrote:

most don't have payes
most don't consider childrens look when shidduch time
most don't even remember
Judaism isn't like this

amother

Violet

Mon, Dec 17 2018, 6:22 am

I understand there's pressure, but I find this whole thread ironic. Just a couple of weeks after reading the parsha that includes the meforshim telling us that Hashem decreed that Yosef be sent to prison.... because he spent time curling his hair.

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Dec 17 2018, 2:41 pm

What's a fob?

Not fob; fop, with a P.
An man who is overly concerned, in an affected and ostentatious way, about his looks and being in fashion. It's not quite effeminate but it does have an effeminate connotation. It's not the same as a plain well-groomed, well-dressed man. The difference is how much this concerns him and how much time he spends on it. Taking a daily shower, wearing an ironed shirt and polishing his shoes once a week doesn't make a man a fop. Using special hair styling tools and products, IMO, does.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Dec 17 2018, 2:46 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks!!! Makes much more sense. Fob around these parts means something else - which a child dressed like he is from the old country speaking only Yiddish might be called.

amother

Lilac

Tue, Dec 18 2018, 11:38 pm

My Teenage son has extremely straight hair and is very obsessed with his payes being perfect all the time, he uses a thin straw in the morning for a few minutes. It holds throughout the day and looks great bh.

Redbird

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 2:43 am

When chasidish boys use hair products in their peyos, it's not being effeminate. It's not done to look "pretty," - to them it's just being put together. It's appropriate because of the context/culture.

Sort of like Scottish kilts I guess.

The Balabusta

Wed, Dec 26 2018, 11:12 pm

Amother, you’re not alone!! I couldn’t agree more with your thoughts. Leave the straight hair straight. But This should be true also for girls with straight hair. We should be teaching about beauty from within, not superficial curls.