10 year old son - switch to male pediatrician?

amother

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 10:54 pm

I love the doctor I've been using. She was my pediatrician and now my kids' too. My oldest is a 10 year old boy. At what age, if any, would you consider switching to a male doctor in the same practice who is really not as good as the female one we're using now?

flmommy

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 10:57 pm

If I loved my ped I would switch around 11 to the same gender dr for physicals and keep going to my fav for sick visits if they are in the same practice. No rule about not suing opposite gender dr but just my confirm level.

amother

Salmon

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 6:41 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm curious - if it were reverse with a male pediatrician and 10 year old girl, would you also consider switching?

amother

Ecru

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 6:44 pm

talk to your ped, does she have confidence in her partner?
its generally great when a practice has both when you have kids of both genders
I think it best whenever possible for each kid to have their own gender dr. as they get older as you note

shmosmom

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 6:46 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

I'm curious - if it were reverse with a male pediatrician and 10 year old girl, would you also consider switching?

I hugged this post cuz I really love this question.

Ravenclaw

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 7:01 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

I'm curious - if it were reverse with a male pediatrician and 10 year old girl, would you also consider switching?

Love this. This double standard bothers me so much. People are so makpid that men should only see men doctors, but then have no problem seeing a male OB.
I don’t even know which misconceptions gave birth to this double standard.

amother

Emerald

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 7:58 pm

If you are certain that the male Dr. is not as good as the female, I would NOT switch. If DS makes a big deal about it, I would discuss it at that point. Why sacrifice your child's excellent healthcare? There is not a problem to see a Dr. of the opposite gender, especially if she/he is a better Dr. Health comes first!

dancingqueen

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 9:13 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

I'm curious - if it were reverse with a male pediatrician and 10 year old girl, would you also consider switching?

I like my girls to have a female pediatrician, I feel like if anything teenage girls are more private about these things than boys.

amother

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:10 pm

Ravenclaw wrote:

Um...
I don't have a double standard. I don't use male doctors, ob's, etc. I have a frum female general practitioner and a frum female midwife. It's about comfort level.

When we need a specialist, I don't care about gender and same with DH and DS's.

amother

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:11 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

I'm curious - if it were reverse with a male pediatrician and 10 year old girl, would you also consider switching?

Of course! I don't want a male staring down her privates, just like I don't want that for myself! If I have a choice....

amother

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:12 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

It's not that I think it's a problem halacha or hashkafa-wise. It's more about him being comfortable. I don't know if he would tell me that he isn't comfortable.

out-of-towner

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:22 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

I'm curious - if it were reverse with a male pediatrician and 10 year old girl, would you also consider switching?

Ummm my JPF, very grounded, levelheaded mother did switch me to a female ped when we got older. Happens to be that she wasn't thrilled with the practice (which only had one doctor, a male) that she was using when she switched me, and when my youngest sibling was born that was a good time to switch so she switched to a multi doctor facility where I saw a female and my younger siblings saw a male. But the male female thing was a factor. It's a comfort level for a teenager, who might be more comfortable bringing up issues with a doctor of their own gender rather than one who is the opposite.

Oh and I was very happy about this switch because I did feel more comfortable with a female. And I feel equally as happy with my male OB now. I'm at a different stage in life. (Although I will admit that asking him questions about resuming relations and such can be awkward.)

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:38 pm

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

My son saw his female pediatrician for the last time @ age 18. He had no problem with it, and neither did I.

Fair enough, but for many at that age, a testicle exam from a female pediatrician seems a little inappropriate if a male doctor is available. And they always are.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:40 pm

right - Op asked a thoughtful, clear, and legit question
no double standards
start your own spin off if you have to

why does everything have to get complicated by someone else's agenda

amother

Emerald

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:58 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's not that I think it's a problem halacha or hashkafa-wise. It's more about him being comfortable. I don't know if he would tell me that he isn't comfortable.

I feel like 10 is too young to be uncomfortable. If he is not the kins of kid to communicate, then I would watch him for signs that his comfort level is changing - like not wanting to go to the Dr. But ... I really feel like if he's uncomfortable, he will make it known. Maybe consider having a talk with him about it when he is nearly 13. Make sure he knows that it's not a problem for him to see a woman, but you want to know if he starts to feel uncomfortable and would prefer to switch.

gold21

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 11:03 pm

Switch when the child starts showing signs of puberty

Until then, leave it

If examination of private parts feels uncomfortable , speak to the doc about having a male do that part, cuz yeah that's weird & awkward and should absolutely be done by a same gender physician.

My male pediatrician never checked that area on me. Is it standard procedure, or some do & some don't?

amother

Aqua

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 11:27 pm

gold21 wrote:

He never checked your testicle? Wink

amother

cornflower

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 11:42 pm

gold21 wrote:

I don't know what is normal, but before I switched to a female ped I needed to have a catheter inserted to collect an uncontaminated urine sample. Having a male ped do it was uncomfortable for me.