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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
At what age would u start thinning hair
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 5:37 am
My almost 11 year old daughter has very thick hair . Wearing it short is not an option unless I blow dry it which I am not so good at and dont have much time after every shower
She also doesn't want to wear it in a pony cos the pony is too thick.
She usually wears it in a bun or banana clip (banana clip not allowed in school )

Do u think she could have it cut thinner ? At this age ? Cutting wont damage her hair . Blow drying and straightening will
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banana123




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 5:53 am
I never thinned my hair. Just wore it in a bun or braid until I got married. It's still usually in a bun.
Why thin it?
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 5:57 am
Does SHE want to thin her hair? If not, let her learn how to manage her hair how she wants to.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 6:16 am
banana123 wrote:
I never thinned my hair. Just wore it in a bun or braid until I got married. It's still usually in a bun.
Why thin it?


This is more or less what I was thinking.

My mum and my sister both have gorgeous, thick, hair, and it's stunning. Wouldn't most girls kill for that hair?
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thanks




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 6:28 am
You can try it, and if it doesn't work, just grow it out.
Using thinning scissors, her hair can be thinned and easier to manage. If her hair is frizzy, the thinning won't really help, and it might make her hair even harder to manage.


Last edited by thanks on Sun, Nov 17 2019, 10:40 am; edited 1 time in total
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 6:31 am
NEVER
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flmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 7:18 am
I would consult with my daughter and a hairdresser what would look best
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 7:54 am
Is her hair curly or wavy? Can she learn to wear it natural instead of straightening.
Some ppl hair will just not take to straightening nicely unless they use very strong treatments (like keratin with thinning .. and then adding extensions).

One of my daughters has extremely thick curly hair. We put in cremes or mousse and it looks beautiful down or up on a pony.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 8:03 am
Is her hair curly or wavy? Because if so I have learned from sad experience that thinning with scissors will only make it puff up more. Please be careful.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 8:08 am
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
Is her hair curly or wavy? Because if so I have learned from sad experience that thinning with scissors will only make it puff up more. Please be careful.


Exactly, it will just make a halo of frizz around her head.

I think that hair like that is best kept long, so it can be slicked back and braided. Don't put the pony at the top of the braid, so it won't pull her hair. Do the braid, and only put a pony at the bottom when you're done.
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amother
White


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 8:23 am
I wouldn't thin it out for the reasons other's have mentioned. But she can get a layered haircut.
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little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 9:12 am
My good friend had very very very thick hair, that was straight, not curly, but puffy. The puff was there solely due to the thickness of her hair. And it really didnt look nice. In 7th grade (she was 12) her mother took her to get it thinned and it made a huge difference. It still looked thick, but now it looked nicer, more managable. The puffiness was gone. She kept geting it thinned routinely throughout highschol, and looked fantastic.

If your daughter feels she doesnt look nice because of her hair, then I see no reason not to help her. If it doesnt work, then just dont do it a second time.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 9:21 am
little neshamala wrote:
My good friend had very very very thick hair, that was straight, not curly, but puffy. The puff was there solely due to the thickness of her hair. And it really didnt look nice. In 7th grade (she was 12) her mother took her to get it thinned and it made a huge difference. It still looked thick, but now it looked nicer, more managable. The puffiness was gone. She kept geting it thinned routinely throughout highschol, and looked fantastic.

If your daughter feels she doesnt look nice because of her hair, then I see no reason not to help her. If it doesnt work, then just dont do it a second time.



This is exactly what my daughters hair is like . It's not curly at all . Maybe a bit wavy . She hates it even though everyone says they would love to have hair like her .
So we took her to a good hairdresser first thing in the morning and she had a bit of a haircut and the bottom layer of her hair was thinned and shes loving it . It's the first time in ages that shes wearing it in a pony and not in a bun. Will see how it grows . Hair can always grow back and be cut again .
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 9:37 am
I have your daughter's hair LOL. It's very thick but not frizzy or curly but a bit wavy.

Do NOT thin the hair - that isn't something that is done by good hair stylists and as it grows out, it will just look worse and be more unmanageable.

Take her to a good hair stylist and have it cut into a style that takes advantage of her hair texture. There is a difference between a hair style with layers and "thinned" hair. If possible, ask a stylist to teach her how to style her hair and advise on products. This is worth it even if you have to pay for a lesson.

There are specific tools that are helpful in managing hair. The best way to style thick hair in my experience (assuming you have a good hair cut so you aren't fighting it) is to dry the hair almost dry and when it is almost dry use one of the round hair brushes that are also hair dryers. This enables you to very easily smooth out the hair. It's a life changer in terms of being much easier to use than separate brush and hair dryer which is difficult to manipulate

https://www.ulta.com/one-step-.....11059

Dyson makes an insanely expensive hair tool called the Airwrap which combines all kinds of beauty tools in one but the inexpensive Revlon will tame her tresses for much less money.

https://www.dyson.com/hair-car.....aw.ds
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amother
Blush


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 10:29 am
I have a high functioning daughter on the spectrum with very thick straight hair. It is too much for her to handle and she always looks messy. We finally thinned it before yom tov and it's much better. Doesn't knot as much and fits in a pony. I'm glad we did it.
Edit to add she's 13.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 12:52 pm
Wait until puberty
I had very thick hair that thinned dramatically after puberty hit
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 1:43 pm
People do that before puberty? so basically to a child? I don't get it
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 2:03 pm
I have ur daughters hair very thick and straight. I used to hate it in elementry school but loved it more and more as I got older. I miss my hair so much now that I'm married (shaved lol)
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little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 3:13 pm
Ruchel wrote:
People do that before puberty? so basically to a child? I don't get it


Its not so much about waiting for puberty, its more about if your child has something that is making them feel somewhat nerdy or ugly, and you see it yourself to be true, then why not help them take care of it? Why wait til theyre older?

My friend and her husband are from Iran, and their daughter inheritted every dark hair sfardi gene possible. when she was just 9, and well before puberty, her upper lip hair was so dark, it was the first thing anyone noticed. It was thick, dark, ugly hair, that made her feel ugly.
So my friend took her 9 year old to get her upper lip waxed. Even though technically shes just a kid.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 3:44 pm
Teach her she's not ugly. If you see her as ugly she has no chance
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