Why do people buy gifts on chanukah?!

amother

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 8:33 am

My kids love chanukah and I only have good memories of chanukah growing up but I just dont get this new gift giving obsession . Every night of chanukah is fun in our house . We sing, dance , eat yummy foods and the kids get treats (donuts and chocolate coins ) I buy fun chanukah tablecloths and plates and some nights they make projects . I do not buy my kids toys or gifts . Why do people go crazy and buy gifts on chanukah? What does gift giving have to do with chanukah ? Is it because it's around the same time as x-mas ? I just never got the whole idea. Growing up we got chanukah gelt so I give my kids a dollar or two and they're so happy . They do not expect gifts . Can someone explain to me why on earth everyone gives their kids gifts on chanukah? What does giving gifts have to do with the holiday ??
Thanks

salt

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 8:46 am

As you say - I'm certain it comes from x-mas.
We don't give gifts, although my kids do get a small gift from grandparents. but if the grandparents were not to give them a gift, I still wouldn't give.

We give gifts on birthdays. There are families that don't do that either.

banana123

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 8:56 am

We generally do one per kid per Chanuka. Or a big one to be shared. I think one Chanuka we got a bunch of Clics, another time we got a toy bus and a doll and stroller. I don't remember the other times what we got, but it was no more than one gift per child, definitely nothing big or more than once during the whole holiday.

Ema of 5

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 9:40 am

Just out of curiosity, why do you care, or need to understand, why other people do things differently? This is how some people do it. Your way is how other people do it. It works for hem, so who cares? All this comparing to other people.....

Ema of 5

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 9:45 am

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

Many people say xmas gifts was taken from Chanukah

Is there any evidence of that? Because people SAY a lot of things, but that doesn’t make something true.

thunderstorm

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 9:51 am

I am almost 40and have siblings in the 40s and we received gifts on Chanuka from frum and non frum grandparents and my parents and some uncles and aunts. We also received Chanuka gelt. Chanuka presents are not a new thing. Maybe it’s more of an American thing? My DH is not American and didn’t receive Chanuka presents as a kid.

southernbubby

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 9:55 am

Ema of 4 wrote:

What I have to ask myself is, does a bigger gift make me a more appreciated bubby? Will the gifts make the harder parts of frumkeit more appealing? And because, BH, there are two sets of grandparents, while I agree that we should not compare ourselves to others, it's bound to be noticed if one set springs for a trip to Family Dollar and the other, a trip to Disney world.
So, I am not saying that those who buy gifts are imitating X-mas because we push rampant materialism quite well on our own but we do have to figure out why we do what we do.

zaq

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 9:57 am

The tradition of Xmas gifts stems from the myth of the three wise men bringing gifts to the supposedly divine newborn child.

Chanukah gelt—gelt, not gifts—was supposed to enable children to pay to learn Torah, as a sort of shtoch to Hellenistic Antiochus who forbade learning Torah. As it’s unlikely that children ever paid for their own education , this explanation is highly implausible, but that’s what they teach in Jewish schools.

The giving of gifts other than gelt is in direct mimicry of Xmas. I was utterly shocked when a very frum family friend gave us kids gifts one Chanukah. Gifts were known to be a gentile custom and only Chanukah gelt was appropriate.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 9:59 am

Southernbubby, my parents give the kids small tchachkes and my in laws give expensive gifts. But my parents house is a fun house and my kids love to spend time there. My in laws house is a serious home so they don't like to go there. Bigger gifts don't make you a better Bubby.

chipmunks

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 10:01 am

There are sources somewhere. I looked into it before my kids were old enough to notice, and being in Israel they had no idea what anyone did for goyische holidays for much longer than I could have as an American kid. I thought it was to keep Jewish kids from feeling left out, but nope! Sorry I don't remember what I discovered but I found enough to satisfy me that it's fine. So if you're really interested, the info is out there.

My parents are the type to literally give eight gifts so you get one for each night, and my mom sends a package to the kids every year. It's really important to her, so I never even told her I wondered about it. It's not like we were upset to get presents, either! LOL

For some reason she also thinks they each need a chanukiyah from birth even though DH is Sephardic and we light just one. My family is not Sephardic and I don't remember ever having more than one or two in the house. People just do things differently and sometimes carry on traditions from their parents that they just got used to. Maybe my grandparents lit ten menorahs, Idk. I don't think my mom's the type to have asked them why.

Ema of 5

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 10:05 am

southernbubby wrote:

Right. We have to figure out why we do what we to in comparison to ourselves. If we do what we do because others do it, then we are doing it for the wrong reason.
I don’t care if every other kid in my kids’ classes go skiing in the winter and to Disney in the summer. We are not doing that with our kids because it’s not right for us. We are not making a big bar mitzvah bash or bat mitzvah bash for our kids, because it’s not what we do. No, what my in laws gave or didn’t give me children has no bearing on what my parents gave or didn’t give.

Ema of 5

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 10:06 am

zaq wrote:

I was never taught this in all my BY years, and neither is my daughter being taught that.

amother

Gray

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 10:07 am

I grew up getting gifts. I didn't realize until I was older that some people considered it non jewish.

My kids get gifts from their grandparents and we give chanukah gelt equal to their age. So my 10yo gets $11.

And we try to do fun stuff, crafts, Chanukah mivtzoim, parties. Between family, school and community events there's something happening every night of chanukah.