How much should it cost to feed an adult? Daily? Weekly?

amother

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 10:28 am

I just hired live in help for the 1st time. I have a newborn and Dh is pursuing his doctorate and I work very full time as the primary bread winner. Between babysitting, cleaning help, night babysitters and weekends it just comes out cheaper to have someone living in with us. We are a family of 5 and we are very small eaters (dh is 6"2 and 140 lbs) we eat cereal and milk and yogurts for breakfast. Salad/sandwhich/frozen pizza for lunch and chicken/ground meat type dinners. This is our norm. Nobody goes hungry but im aware we arent big eaters.
Sooo... our live in has a large appetite! She seems to be a bottomless pit. My food definitely isnt enough for her. I did offer that when I go grocery shopping she can give me some items to buy for her which I have been doing but she goes thru an incredible amount of food and im wondering if its within the range of normal. I know she comes from a very very poor country. Maybe shes just eating a ton as a reaction to not having access to food all the time back home?

OOTforlife

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 10:48 am

I recommend you forget about "should" here and just feed her in the quantities that she wants or hire someone else altogether.

You can limit the selection to avoid really expensive foods, but you can't feed her less than she wants to eat (whether it's a "normal" amount or not) and expect to have a good relationship with her.

Even if she acts OK about a quantity limit to your face, she will resent you and you don't want someone living in your house and resenting you.

amother

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:08 am

naturalmom5 wrote:

Maybe give her a food allowance, and have her buy her own food

Obviously, if she buys treif, keeo it in the garage or eat it outside..

Good idea. I actually gave her a treif microwave cuz I dont want her touching anything in my kitchen. What do u think would be a fair allowance? Obviously she gets paid and can buy more of anything she wants...

amother

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:10 am

OOTforlife wrote:

I recommend you forget about "should" here and just feed her in the quantities that she wants or hire someone else altogether.

I hear you. You have a good point.
I know noone will be perfect ane when you find someone good with your kids and housework its hard to pass up because of a food issue. On the otherhand, having her around is a huge expense and the food is adding to the cost of having her significantly..

Amarante

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:11 am

Without your stating the quantities, it's difficult to know whether what she eats is normal. However judging by your husband's physical characteristics, he is underweight statistically and therefore probably doesn't eat a "normal" amount for a man of his height.

As others have posted, you need to feed another human being the amount that they feel the need to eat unless you feel that somehow she is hiding food to feed others.

Buying food that your live-in person likes is a very kind thing to do but really has nothing to do with controlling her food intake. It's just a nice gesture that any mensch would do for someone unless of course they are requesting super expensive foods.

As others have posted, consider her food intake to be part of the cost of having a live-in. If she is reliable and good and you want to retain her then you need to feed her the amount of food that she feels necessary to be satiated. It doesn't appear that having her eat her "own" food is the issue since you aren't feeding particularly expensive foods for your family - and even if you were I couldn't personally feed my housekeeper or other person different food because it would make me feel terrible. Not exactly the same thing but when my cleaning lady works a full day I serve her exactly what I am eating and often that is takeout delivered because it's easier for me and the takeout can be $15.00 or so for her meal.

amother

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:19 am

DrMom wrote:

Are you sure she is actually eating this food and not just taking it? Do you actually see her eating?

I am tossing this possibility out there only because you said she seems to be consuming an enormous amount...

She is a large woman. I see her eating a lot by meals so I know she can eat a lot. There is no reason for her to hoard food.. she stays in for weekends and she has plenty of instant soups and instant mashed pot and pasta in her room that just require hot water or microwave...

amother

Magenta

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:21 am

When I had someone live in I premade them a plate. Like in a restaurant. I found it easier.

So breakfast was yogurt and a fruit + nuts (I have nuts prepped in baggies for myself so I just grab one). 2$

Lunch was either peanut butter or tuna or cream cheese sandwich ( I left out bread and stuff, she prepared on her own but never ate more than 4 slices. ) all cheap enough not to mind. Sometimes she wanted oatmeal.

Supper was a dinner plate with protein veggie and carb. Sometimes soup.

I buy granola bars/ nuts and tuna pb in Costco or other sales.

Always told her she’s welcome to take an Apple or a bar if she’s hungry.

She ate a lot but I feel it was reasonable.

You’re probably not used to bulk shopping either cuz you’re not big eaters but it doesn’t cost that much - dinner is the only place we felt it cuz extra portion of proteins and vegetables I had to buy more.

amother

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:34 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

OP, are you sure that she is actually eating an enormous amount, and it's not just so from your point of view as a member of a family of small eaters?

You tell me.. yesterday she asked me if she can cook herself Jamaican chicken. I said she can spice it and ill cook it. I gave her a package of 5 chicken bottoms and a package of fricassee. She cut up the chicken but left it on the bone (ive never seen someone do that with raw chicken before) then I cooked her 2 cups of white rice. She ate it for lunch and dinner. This morning there was a 2 lb container of chicken left and a 1 lb container of rice. To me that is a TON of rice and chicken for one adult to eat in a day! She must have eaten 4 chicken bottoms and a few cups of cooked rice. But I dont think im the right person to evaluate cuz I dont eat a lot. What do u think?!

Rappel

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:38 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If I'm really pigging out, then I can eat a full plate of string beans, 2 chicken thighs, and a cup full of rice for dinner. I'm 5'4", 160 pounds. When I'm really, really fit, my body can go as low as 145. Does that help you?

Probably not.

It sounds like your live-in has made it clear where she stands on food. If you're going to keep her, then you're going to need to rethink your stand on food. Is it worth it to you?

Rappel

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:41 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I think that's normal, considering she didn't eat any vegetables with it. Veggies fill a lot of space. When you think it as 2 chicken bottoms and 2 cups of rice per each meal, it's very reasonable.

Last edited by Rappel on Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:42 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:41 am

Rappel wrote:

Thanks for this Smile

yes it does help!! She eats about that...

amother

Green

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:42 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Without knowing the size of the chicken parts, hard to know.

Assuming a chicken bottom consists of the thigh and drumstick, my experience is that these parts can be pretty small with less meat than a chicken breast. So eating two drumsticks and two thighs which are relatively small isn't an "extreme" amount of food.

I have had tiny drumsticks and thighs with very little actual meat on them so I might still be hungry after one thigh and one drumstick.

Is that one cup of cooked rice or one cup of raw rice. One cup of cooked rice isn't a huge amount of food.

Is she eating anything else along with these items - vegetables? salad? fruit? People generally have some form of vegetable along with protein and carbs.

amother

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:43 am

Rappel wrote:

I think that's normal, considering she didn't eat any vegetables with it. Veggies fill a lot of space. When you think it as 2 chicken bottoms and 2 cups of rice per each meal, it's very reasonable.

I asked her why she doesnt eat veggies cuz I make a vegetable side every night and a big veggie soup at the beginning of the week. She said American fruit and vegetables arent good. Makes sense if you are used to super fresh..

amother

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 11:49 am

nylon wrote:

I don't think that sounds super excessive. Also if she's busy all day doing housework and childcare she's probably hungry.

Ok im glad! Thank you! I should add, I know she likes bread to I asked her what type of bread I can buy to have in the house. she told me she likes the jewish hamburger buns like sterns. I bought 12 rolls on friday and I saw this morning that she finished them... she snacks on them...

naturalmom5

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 12:07 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Lol ... my 21 yr old can do that and have french fries to go with it and he still looks like a telephone pole