Mental health | Imamother

amother

Fri, Feb 07 2020, 2:16 pm

Something is seriously wrong with 12yo ds...

He has been diagnosed with anxiety and adhd and is on all kinds of meds for it. (He’s has Several psych Evals and that’s what they all agree on.

Only he doesn’t present typically... the anxiety part he’s more of a fight than flight guy so when he’s anxious he gets aggressive... but the meds have been dealing with that.

The part that scares me is that when he has a panic attack, they look like Asd tantrums. He screams, hits himself and berates himself saying why can’t he control himself, scratching his face, blowing his nose until it gets bloody... but he’s not on the spectrum at all... he’s been tested. And he acts neurotypically otherwise.

But there’s obviously a mental health issue...

His psychiatrists keeps micro adjusting his dosage but honestly it’s doing nothing and these are pretty significant meltdowns. He’s not really helpful.

I don’t even know where to find info or help. I am so scared for him and so lost.

amother

Mauve

Fri, Feb 07 2020, 2:40 pm

Asd, anxiety, adhd and pandas all have overlapping symptoms. It's extremely hard to figure out what is what and how to treat it.

Huge hugs. Are you in close contact with a pediatrician you trust?

amother

Babyblue

Fri, Feb 07 2020, 2:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'd look into the possibility of trauma. all the meds in the world don't cure trauma.

amother

Fri, Feb 07 2020, 5:11 pm

The pattern is usually either:

He wants something dangerous/irrational/impossible/inappropriate or just something we don't approve of (stay up too late to watch a game, go play basketball in the park after hours with his friends, stay home from school, not do his homework)
We say no.
He insists
we still say no
he whines, no
he cries, no
and then he spirals (flinging things, yelling, cursing, hitting himself, etc)

In retrospect though, waay after the dust has settled, and after we are able to talk to each other, it will come out that that thing he wanted was something that was making him nervous (for example, not going to school because he got into an argument with a friend and doesn't know how to react, or is suddenly afraid of an upcoming trip when he's never mentioned a fear of flying, or is freaking out because he realizes hes going to be bar mitzvah soon and does not feel ready... etc)

or maybe those are just his excuses for his behavior... idk if hes faking it to manipulate us or if he's actually thinking those things...

FranticFrummie

Sat, Feb 08 2020, 2:18 pm

From the examples you gave, it sounds like he is genuinely frightened.

When you see that he is starting to be resistant, don't let it get to the point where it escalates into a full blown meltdown. Make eye contact, and calmly say "It seems like something about this is making you nervous. Can you tell me what you are thinking about this? We would like to help, and we don't like to see you so upset."

By opening up and prompting dialog while he can still use his words, you can change the whole dynamic. Once he goes into an emotional place, his mind has completely shut you out, so it's crucial that you get there before that happens.

If he is in therapy, he really needs to be learning and role playing these communication skills.

amother

Red

Sat, Feb 08 2020, 8:30 pm

When my child's pandas flares, she can easily pass for a child on the spectrum. But when she's not flaring she's neurotypical. Those meltdowns seem like classic pandas meltdowns, and yes, many of them are triggered by anxiety, or by a ocd narrative that you are not allowing them to fulfill, or by compulsive defiance. I would have him evaluated by a pandas-literate specialist. Most pandas children don't respond to psych meds.

amother

Hotpink

Sat, Feb 08 2020, 9:32 pm

Please get him evaluated for Pandas, by a doctor who believes in pandas , it’s a blood test and throat culture to begin with. Hatzlacha. I have a child the same way with similar behaviors it’s not easy .