My husband told this to our son . It was shocking for me to

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amother

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 4:52 pm

I dont know exactly what the conlict or topic was about . All I heared my husband telling my son that he is not being moichel my son . They are in good terms now and turned the page. But it still bothers me what I overheard father telling son im not u ever moichel. To me its a harsh one . To me it seemed it was a kind of Chutzpa he must've done . Like laughing off my husband , or something like it. Why do I still feel its not the right chinich? (14 year old son) I still have to find out the whole thing , tho to me it really seemed like something small . I know my husband gets extremely sensitive with disrespecting him or chutzpah. Just tell me what you'd think if u overheard your dh tell his own son he doesnt wanna be him moichel?

Learning

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 4:55 pm

Tell your Dh that he can tell your son to ask mechila again. He must mochel if he asks him three times. He can tell your son that he got really upset.

cnc

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 4:56 pm

I would think that the parent has lowered himself to the level of the child .

Learning

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 4:59 pm

cnc wrote:

I would think that the parent has lowered himself to the level of the child .

Maybe he was really upset. My children sometimes told me something that made me extremely upset. I’m not sure of the exact situation. Does Dh behaves that way usually?

amother

Pewter

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 5:05 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

First ask DH for the whole story and why he said it.
Maybe you misheard or heard 1/2 a story. Don't jump to conclusions right away.

imasinger

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 5:08 pm

Maybe say to DH:

"I heard what you said to DS about when he _____. It was a pretty good response, but you left off the end of it."

When he says, "what are you talking about", you can say, "I heard you say that you can't be moichel him. I think, since we have a job of chinuch to do here, the end part needs to be, 'I can't be moichel you UNLESS...'. Of course, we want to teach DS that everyone could and should do teshuva, right? So what do you think he could do to make it right? Can you tell him that? It's even more powerful when you say that you didn't say everything you meant before, because it teaches him that this is what adults do when something isn't correct. Not only are you showing him the path, you're modeling it."

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