HELP!! Very tall teen dd grew AGAIN!!

amother

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 2:30 pm

I feel so bad for her, she is feeling so insecure about growing so tall. I have to act all positive with her and say "Lucky you! More new clothes!" so I am coming here to vent and get advice.

I feel so incompetent as her mother! She has been changing bra size EVERY YEAR since age 11, her chest size compared with her rib circumference is HUGE by now. 6 months ago I bought her a lot of $100 bras from a special fitter that looked great on her, thinking she was finally done growing as an older teen, only to discover she grew larger again! Along with her height, her bra size, hips and tush just keep growing, while her waist and ribs have remained the same size since she was 12, giving her a distorted,extreme hour glass shape. Clothing shopping is impossible, she is too tall for clothes in stores, and her extreme thinness combined with large chest and behind make most styles look bizarre. Clothes need to be made for her to look mentchlich, and not only can I not afford it, I dont even know how to accomplish another bra fitting or seamstress work during Covid 19.

I love her and I want her to feel pulled together and beautiful, but I feel like screaming "I cannot keep up with this! STOP growing please!!!"

Success10

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 2:40 pm

Wow, you are a dedicated mommy! I don't believe that all clothes need to be custom made for her. Maybe altered, but not made from scratch. The bra thing is very hard. Bali makes great affordable minimizers. I wouldn't invest in expensive until you are certain she has stopped growing in that area. Keep venting here and don't make her insecure in real life. I still think it's better to be very tall than very short.

amother

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 2:42 pm

shaqued_almond wrote:

You sound very frustrated. Its tough to buy new clothes if they dont fit. How tall is she now? Some doctors can estimate how tall the child will grow eventually. Does she experience back pain because of her bra size?

She is 5'10 and she was estimated to stop growing 3 years ago. Didn't work! Yes, she complains her chest is very heavy : (
I feel so bad for her, I wish there was a shot I could have given her 2 years ago to stop her growth. She would have been tall, but able to shop in regular stores and had a more symmetrical figure.

Ora in town

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 3:00 pm

It saddens me to hear that you have such a negative attitude against your daughter being 5"10...
If you think it's negative, how should she think it's OK?

As far as the clothes are concerned, I hear you.
What I found is that countries with tall people (Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark) have different standard sizes for clothes, and like a miracle, it fits tall people...

So perhaps you might want to mail order from there...
...and don't be surprised if it will be difficult to find clothes in standrad tzius shops... they in general cater to people who are not so tall...

Last edited by Ora in town on Sun, Jun 14 2020, 3:01 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Slategray

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 3:03 pm

5'10 is tall but it is not so uncommon that it is unheard of. There are several women in my family that are 5'10 and it's gorgeous - definitely better than being 5'4 or 5'7. It sounds like you have concerns about her body shape rather than height and a large chest can be very difficult. Maybe, once developed fully, she should consider a reduction.

Last edited by amother on Sat, Feb 05 2022, 6:34 pm; edited 1 time in total

Success10

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 3:11 pm

nchr wrote:

Agreed about the reduction, if her cup size is causing her back pain, or causing her to hunch over. It's not a fun option, but something to consider if it's causing her other physical issues.

amother

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 3:11 pm

nchr wrote:

Thank you for understanding. I am NOT "negative about her height", I am feeling anxious and overwhelmed with how to help my daughter!
She is insecure and overwhelmed by her own body, and needs beautiful, well fitting clothes more than the average girl, as her height and figure are difficult to dress. I dont know how to afford her constant growth, just when I think she has a nice wardrobe and undergarments she grows again! And if you read my posts correctly you can see that her figure is very extreme - if a skirt fits her waist it is too tight across her backside, if the dress has a waistline, it is too high, or makes her chest and hips look bizarrely large in comparison to her waist. I do need to have clothes made for her....and I am OVERWHELMED

Ora in town

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 3:19 pm

What you describe are shapes every modell would dream of...(although a bit on the short end)
So I understand that being a photo modell would not be your dream of a career for her...
But on the other hand, this fact could give her a little bit of self-confidence: You are gorgeous! You are exactly what many girls dream of being!
and please, please: don't let her teachers bother her because of breast size..

frumarochel

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 4:19 pm

The modeling business MAKES women anxious about their appearance. It doesn't build confidence.

Learning to sew will empower a woman who is difficult to fit. Her body is G-d given, while clothing is made by manufacturers for profit. Fit models are hired for each manufacturer and it's not easy to find one who meets their exact specifications.

To learn sewing get a book or use online lessons or live lessons taught by a friend or neighbor (when that's feasible). A skirt is the usual first project! It needs only a waist, hip and length measurement. An elastic waistband is easy to learn. This lesson leads to making a drawstring bag or curtains.

For a tall girl, being able to make a skirt which is long enough is exciting. She will be limited only by the different kinds of fabric available. Let her buy cloth she absolutely loves even if it's not the cheapest! After the first skirt, repeat the same pattern with other fabrics. Practice makes the result better and better.

This will not cost much. If you don't have a sewing machine, she can begin with hand sewing. A needle and thread, a thimble which fits (you become accustomed to wearing it on your finger after dropping it on the floor multiple times), a length of elastic and the fabric is all you need. If you want to get a sewing machine later, look for a free one. The older models were metal and heavy duty. All that is needed is a straight stitch going forward. My grandmother made everything on her foot treadle. Many people will give you their old machine in a cabinet and thank you for taking it away. You can take it to a repair person for a tune up.

Some lucky few people think they look wonderful no matter what other people think of them. It's worthwhile for the rest of us to pretend we are more confident than we are because everybody responds positively to our self-confidence and negatively to our own doubts. Each of us was designed and made by Divine will and aren't we a good looking bunch of women? Yes you ARE!

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 4:34 pm

I once knew a woman who was born with terrible back problems. She basically grew up in a back brace that was like a corset, so she has a teeny tiny waist. She's also very large on top and bottom, extreme like your DD.

She wore flare or A-line skirts, and would buy blouses that fit across the chest and shoulders, and then take the shirts in to a seamstress to have the sides fitted so they wouldn't be boxy. She did complain that her bras cost around $300 to $400 each, and they had to be custom made for her.

The worst, was that men thought that her figure meant that they were automatically entitled to make comments to her - constantly! She never got treated like a normal person by men.

OP, I hope that your daughter comes to accept the shape that Hashem made her, and that you can find an affordable way to dress her and make her feel good. You are a great mom.

thunderstorm

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 5:09 pm

The issue is her chest size and her difficult figure and not so much her height. Of course it’s a pain to have to purchase a new wardrobe each time she grows. I know. My oldest son is 6 ft 6. He also wears a size 17 men’s shoe. That’s like a size 19 ladies shoe. It’s very expensive to dress him.
I am 5 11 and have been this tall since I’m 14. It really wasn’t a negative thing . It was just hard finding skirts long enough for me. I have a bigger issue finding shoes for my large feet .
I know that breast reduction can be very helpful for someone that has back pain from being big chested. I have a friend who told me she did that when she was a young adult before marriage. I think she can’t breastfeed because of that (though I’m not 100% sure that was the reason. I think she told me something to that effect).
You need an entire income to be able to afford big size everything. They automatically charge more for tall and bigger sizes and we rarely have the opportunity to find things on sale in those sizes.

amother

Slategray

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 5:59 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I know women who had breast reductions and are able to breastfeed. They sometimes need to do a side and a half, but its perfectly fine. Obviously everyone should ask their own doctors.

Last edited by amother on Fri, Feb 04 2022, 4:41 pm; edited 1 time in total