Fuming at dh | Imamother

amother

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 9:26 am

First of all son was shocked meaning in an upsetting way . The schedule was being turned around since kinis . 2nd of all my ds dorms and doesnt keep up with fathers schedule. That's the most what had bothered me . Thst ds is barely home and once in a few weeks he comes home from yashiva , I felt it should be more communication in this then just to leave him behind like this. If it happened with my other kids , I dont think I would be as upset cause they are home and know exactly my husband's schedule... and are more used to it . With this son its different. He is barely home.

amother

Turquoise

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 10:01 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I hear that. I didn't mean in the sense that he knows his father's schedule, rather that he knows his father doesn't wait and doesn't give warning, so it's up to him to keep on top of it, because "I'm leaving soon" is warning enough.

Meaning he should've asked for the exact time and been on top of it, and when he missed it it shouldn't have come as a shock or surprise, because ta doesn't ever wait.

amother

Chartreuse

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 10:38 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

The thing here was that a timing wasnt even discussed. He mentioned he is going soon . It was not an official announcement that he is leaving this and this time and notified the kids to be ready a certain time. He just expected then to follow him once he was ready ...

So then that’s what he needs to do next time. I’m not a fan of the reminders making big kids move. They should keep track of the time on their own and be ready. It’s common courtesy not to make people wait for you- what was alarming was you saying that you’ve waited 10-15 mins for friends to get ready and that you think that them making you wait is ok...

amother

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 11:28 am

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

I think u misread it. I clearly pin pointed that I DONT think its polite to let someone wait 15 minutes , yet I still WOULDNT have left them behind, yet not that I ever think it's ok to let someone wait especially a timing that was made up in advance .

amother

Chartreuse

Fri, Jul 31 2020, 12:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I hear that- but you don’t have to go to minyan... if a time is made up in advance (Which hopefully your dh will do next time), your kids need to stick to that or do their own minyan arranging.