Please teach your kids bathroom basics! (Vent)

honey36

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 5:55 pm

Neighbor 6 year old boy is at our house to play often. His house is literally right next door, we basically share a backyard. Anyways, today he was playing in our backyard and he knocks on the door and asks to use our bathroom cuz it's closer than his. Ok...I'm hesitant here b/c in past he's used our bathroom, and afterward it wasn't a pretty sight...anyways I'm hoping he'll just be needing a quick one so ok.

Of course, he's in there for quite a while. I yell down to remind him to flush. He's like "yep". Anyways he comes out a few minutes later, no flush. I remind he, he goes to flush. He comes out. "Did you wash your hands?" Oops, ok goes back in to wash.

He leaves. I go into washroom. There's a bunch of DIRTY tissues in the garbage can! Ugh! This is not the first (or even 4th) time this has happened. One time he made a really really big mess (number 2) on Shabbos! Like all over the toilet, not just a little. Plus the not washing hands after...I'm just so grossed out...

I'm great friends with his mom and she's a nice normal person as far as I know. I'm assuming she's taught him bathroom basics, hes just a really spacey kid...
Is it really mean if in future I don't let him use our bathroom and make him walk 30 extra seconds to his own bathroom?

amother

Blue

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 5:59 pm

In our house, as gross as it is, dirty tissues go into the trash, not the toilet - our plumbing can't handle it. I honestly didn't think about how that particular "minhag" would go over in someone else's house! But here, if someone flushes too many tissues, it gets much grosser.

lucky14

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 6:06 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

They should be wrapped up well before putting in the garbage can!

And OP I would tell him to go home next time.

seeker

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 6:07 pm

You say his home is literally right next door so it seems to be a no brainer to just have this kid go there. I sure hope that when he's home his parents remind him to wash hands. I believe it's possible to have excellent training and still be forgetful about that. The mess, not really. Amother with the tissue situation, the plumbing also can't handle toilet paper? We never use tissues in the bathroom, only good quality toilet paper that does the job and flushes well.

amother

Blue

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 6:11 pm

We don't have unlimited supplies of tissues, so we don't have the kids wrap them. But the main bathroom has a lidded trash can, thank goodness!

Too much TP will also mess up the plumbing here. It's an old house, the bath and shower don't drain well either, and the landlord is very unmotivated to do anything about it.

Ideally we have wipes available, because they are much more effective than tissues or TP so less are used.

But yes, OP, I'd send him home, and/or let him know the bathroom etiquette in your home. It's fine for him to know that the rules are different by you.

amother

Ruby

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 6:21 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

Don’t use tissues use toilet paper.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 6:23 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

my friend does this. never understood it. when I asked who cleaned it she said the maid and got all uncomfortable. I wouldnt be able to handle it

honey36

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 6:34 pm

Thanks, the responses make me feel better. I just don't want to be that mean neighbor who doesn't let kids use the bathroom...problem is also when he's playing at our house and he'll just use it without asking. If I ask him not to, I'm sure he'd forget. Really at this point I've sort of just accepted the situation even though it grosses me out...

Motherhood

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 6:35 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

I teach my kids to flush after 3 dirty tissues land up in the toilet. F they need more tissues, they flush again. The toilet doesn’t get clogged this way and the bathroom doesn’t stink

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 6:35 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

I always wondered - how do women who need to do this deal with not wanting to see their used tissues (nida shailos)??

seeker

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 6:39 pm

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

my friend does this. never understood it. when I asked who cleaned it she said the maid and got all uncomfortable. I wouldnt be able to handle it

You put a liner in the trash can and get one with a swinging cover. No maid needed.

amother

Puce

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 7:12 pm

Send him home. I try to teach my kids bathroom etiquette but I can’t say they all had it down pat by age four. And I wouldn’t think twice about a neighbor not wanting my kids number 2 in their toilet because I honestly feel the same way.

amother

Wheat

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 7:31 pm

I am the mean mommy who never allows the neighbors use the bathroom. They know by now to run home and dont even ask. And they still come over to play. Never got a complaint. On good terms with all our neighbors just cant stand dirty bathrooms!

acemom

Wed, Nov 11 2020, 7:44 pm

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

My neighbors all tell their kids not to use each other's bathrooms.

Even when I offer the kids decline.