S/o Unteaching-is it common?

amother

Mon, May 24 2021, 12:50 am

We (my family) don't live in a perfect-fit community and as such, we have to compromise with school for our kids. At the end of the day, we sometimes have a conversation that counteracts a statement that was said in school by a teacher. I'm assuming this is not uncommon if one lives in a place that has zero or very limited choice in Jewish education.

However, what if you lived in your "ideal" location and sent to "ideal" schools. Do you still have to unteach some things? Or are schools you send your kids to perfect in every way?

amother

Hotpink

Mon, May 24 2021, 12:54 am

Chinuch should always come from the home, not rely on the school. The school is supplementary. If a great fit, wonderful. It is very important chinuch for children to learn that

1- You can learn from everyone, what to or what not to do

2- Adults are not always perfect, life is a work in progress

3- 70 panim to the Torah, we do ours, others do theirs

amother

Orange

Mon, May 24 2021, 12:58 am

I did try very hard to find a school that is closest to the way we teach our kids so that I don't have that issue. Small issues do crop up here and there but it's not very often or things that are a big deal.

Goody2shoes

Mon, May 24 2021, 1:26 am

Yes. School and home dont go hand in hand especially when you dont know the teachers as and their personal values and hashkafos. We can try for it to be a good fit but I learnt never to expect 100 percent perfection in the values the kids bring home from school. And
Yes its very normal to unteach things. It's your kid. You decide what you want her/him to know.

amother

Ecru

Mon, May 24 2021, 1:29 am

I do not think that word means what you think it means

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unschooling

amother

Slategray

Mon, May 24 2021, 1:38 am

amother [ Ecru ] wrote:

I do not think that word means what you think it means

That's a b'pherush line from Indigo Montoya in The Princess Bride
LOL

amother

Ecru

Mon, May 24 2021, 1:39 am

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

That's a b'pherush line from Indigo Montoya in The Princess Bride
LOL

It's a meme, but I guess that's where the meme comes from?

Ema of 5

Mon, May 24 2021, 1:41 am

amother [ Ecru ] wrote:

I do not think that word means what you think it means

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unschooling

This is what I thought the thread was going to be about.

amother

Sapphire

Mon, May 24 2021, 2:47 am

The ideal school does not exist. Period. You will always have to supplement/undo something. What matters is the attitude to learning, and a good peer group. Almost all other shortcomings can be overcome.

Amelia Bedelia

Mon, May 24 2021, 7:00 am

Ema of 4 wrote:

This is what I thought the thread was going to be about.

Yes. Me too

Aylat

Mon, May 24 2021, 9:19 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

However, what if you lived in your "ideal" location and sent to "ideal" schools. Do you still have to unteach some things? Or are schools you send your kids to perfect in every way?

Yes. Because an 'ideal' place or school doesn't exist. I'm very happy and grateful thst we live in our community, but I don't agree with every aspect of hashkafa - nor could anyone because it's not inhabited by clones and different people believe different things and hold different values! Even though we all fit under the same umbrella 'type'. I'm probably more of an outlier than most though, in a few different ways, and I try to convey my values to my kids.

keym

Mon, May 24 2021, 9:45 am

Even when my children are in the absolutely "perfectly matched hashkaficlly" school for my family, we always end up adjusting things.
Minhagim, halacha.
Little things. Like we use money for kaparos so those paper chickens are cute but irrelevant.
My son is in a standard yeshivish school in Lakewood- 30 boys in the class, and they put on tefillin 20 different ways. (They have multiple cousins in the class who follow the same minhag). The Rebbes tefillin class, while interesting, had to be retaught.
What Bracha to make on foods or making a Bracha on dessert, etc.

Chayalle

Mon, May 24 2021, 9:50 am

My girls have had teachers who said things that were not totally in line with my family's Hashkafa. We have lots of discussions about this at home.

No one should assume that chinuch will be the realm of the school. You discuss things with your kids, you talk about what they hear, and you tell them where your family is different.