Why do people want such loud music at weddings?

amother

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:08 pm

Seriously. The decibel level is often at an unsafe and painful level. Does anyone enjoy it?

amother

Gold

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:10 pm

Nope.

It's the young men who often who ask for it and the band or keyboard player complies because they will be the ones to choose who will play when it's their turn.

amother

Ivory

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:11 pm

Loud music helps drown out painful emotional experiences. I learned this from a trauma therapist who works within a certain culture where the reason music is so loud the whole street heard it is because of the grief, sadness , etc.
Makes me wonder what painful and negative emotions were trying to cover and drown out with the loud music at weddings.
Maybe marriage isn't the happy event it's made out to be

Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Seriously. The decibel level is often at an unsafe and painful level. Does anyone enjoy it?

My pet peeve. It wasn't that loud in the past, music was pleasant, not deafening. That's why I really don't enjoy weddings.get me my dessert, finishing birkat hamazon and in run.

amother

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:13 pm

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

But doesn't that only apply to loud music that is at the higher end of the audible range, not music that is so deafening that you can't even really hear it?

Goody2shoes

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:15 pm

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

maybe its trying to drown put the emotions of the chosson and kallas families Wink

but this thing about music is interesting. I gravitate a lot to music especially when I'm in a bad mood. that's when I turn the volume loud so that I cant think at all.

BadTichelDay

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:16 pm

I often take earplugs along. It helps partially and I don't care if it looks weird. I don't want to be deaf by the time I'm 60 or so.

amother

Wine

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:17 pm

It's mainly a thing at the charedi weddings I go to.
It happens far less at dati leumi or secular weddings.
I absolutely hate it. Someone got it into their mind that louder is happier, better, whatever. You can't even talk to the people sitting at your table.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:34 pm

At my sister's wedding recently all the family hung out in the front lobby and only the young singles were left on the dance floor lol

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 1:41 pm

I agree with you but I have a relative in the wedding music business and he says it really makes a difference in getting people in party mode, dancing, ruach. I believe him even if I don't like it. I'm a lobby lurker myself.

amother

cornflower

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 2:27 pm

I also hate the loud music. It's so damaging, by my dc weddings I want the music turned down. Do bands not care about the hearing impairment that may be caused by them? Why don't chassuna makers insist on lower volumes?

Chayalle

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 2:47 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

I hear that up to a certain decibel level. Beyond that, how does a pounding headache contribute to the simcha and ruach?

amother

Tan

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 2:47 pm

I hate it. I always come back hoarse from a simcha, from shouting all night. And I hate how damaging it is. I’m already dealing with some hearing loss.

amother

Wine

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 2:53 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

I haven't noticed that there is more dancing at the weddings with pounding music. It's just more distracting.

I cannot overstate how much I dislike going to a wedding with pounding music.

amother

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 2:53 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

I suspect that those in the business aren't aware of quite how loud it is, having already lost some of their hearing. Though they must notice when the bass can be felt in the whole body.

amother

Rose

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 2:59 pm

I got married over 12 years ago. We had a well known band and we made it very very clear that we didn't want the music to be too loud.

At the wedding itself if it felt loud ( I think once at the end when there weren't as many people so they wanted to make it more leibedik) I would ask for it to be lowered. It b"H wasn't an issue and I really enjoyed my wedding Smile

So sad that it's still an issue Sad

I do think that those who care, when you make a simcha make sure it's clear that you don't want it to be too loud. Especially if you have the chassan and kallah's agreement. In our case my chassan and I were "in charge". It's your simcha.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 3:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I suspect that those in the business aren't aware of quite how loud it is, having already lost some of their hearing. Though they must notice when the bass can be felt in the whole body.

Haha I guess that's the reason then! The people running the show can't hear how loud it is.

amother

Azure

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 4:35 pm

DH and I always bring earplugs too. Its very painful to listen to and not safe at all. One of my best purchases were noise cancelling earmuffs for my baby to wear at weddings or parties where music is too loud. I always see woman with babies walking around and they are damaging their ears! It kills me to see

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jun 02 2021, 4:50 pm

It's loud by most Yeshivish people, too. Especially at fancy bar mitzvas where they really pull out all the stops.

I just don't go anymore.

Appetizers
An hour of pounding music.
First course
An hour of pounding music.
Second course
Two hours of pounding music.
If you haven't run for the hills yet, you might get dessert.

Hate, hate, HATE it! Mad

Not only that, they never serve alcohol on the women's side. Not even a half a glass of wine. It would help my nerves deal with the noise and crowds. If I ever get pressured into going to another simcha, I'm bringing a flask (or two) of vodka.