Custom Hostess Boxes for Guests - Is it necessary?

amother

Sat, Jun 05 2021, 10:26 pm

If one is making a simcha in Five Towns or Flatbush (Litvish circle) do you have to give your guests a custom hostess boxes with choson’s monogram or chosen and kallah’s monogrom with professional printed schedule of Shabbos? Is giving a fancy bag filled with goodies with the schedule look cheap these days? I am asking for people in this specific circle to answer. The simcha is in the neighborhood that you live in and not a hotel.

Optione

Sat, Jun 05 2021, 10:40 pm

The latter is 100% acceptable and normal. I'm not going to say there aren't exceptions, but you are definitely not "less than" for not having custom gifts.

SingALong

Sat, Jun 05 2021, 11:41 pm

I don’t think there’s a need for a fancy box. But as a guest, I’d appreciate a bottle of water, 2 tea lights, schedule, maybe a map with directions. You don’t know if their sleeping host will provide them with any food, so some nuts or candies would be nice. Safety pins, rain bonnet, Tylenol, mini mouthwash are nice simple extras that don’t cost a fortune but really useful if you need when you’re away. Totally fine to stick them all in a pretty paper bag. The people who make all these beautiful hostess packages turned it into a wonderful business that many people appreciate, but I don’t think it’s a must at all.

amother

Maize

Sat, Jun 05 2021, 11:44 pm

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

Maybe this is a stupid question, but why would I WANT a box with someone's monogram on it?

Haha. You’re way too sensible for the circles that this is DONE in!

amother

Black

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 12:52 am

A necessity? Certainly not!!
Even fancy bag with goodies is extra in my book!! It's nice, very nice but totally optional!
Enjoy your simcha and do what you can afford!

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 8:36 am

This has got to be another one of those things that I only ever hear about on Imamother. Can't Believe It

Where does it all stop?

SYA

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 8:57 am

OP, if I read your post correctly, the wedding “guests” live in the area where the wedding will take place.
If that is correct (meaning they are in their own home) a bag/box is really unnecessary.

watergirl

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 8:59 am

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

Maybe this is a stupid question, but why would I WANT a box with someone's monogram on it?

So much this. Unless its a bencher (which I only kind of want)… please dont put the monogram on anything meant to be kept and reused. Only grandparents and aunts/uncles and maaaaaaaybe close cousins will ever look at it again.

amother

Grape

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 9:51 am

SYA wrote:

If I understand the op.

It’s the hostess area. Putting up guests in neighbors.

Your right you will only know in your community what is expected. But they are your guests. So will your guests care? Or are you worried what the hosts will think?

The personalization isn’t really stuff you’ll keep but just presentation of the box
Like what this company does.
https://www.instagram.com/hostitny/

ra_mom

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 10:50 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If they're your guests for the meals only (and are sleeping at their own homes), why not email and What'sApp the shabbos schedule to them? Hostess packages seem like overkill in such a scenario.

If they're hosting your out of town guests, buy them each a gift for their homes. And leave a bag for the out of town guests with the items listed above.

Mazel Tov!

rising hero

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 11:43 am

When putting together packages I try to keep in mind that most of the packaging end up in the trash after being admired for a minute or two. Of course it can still be pretty and presentable but it doesnt need to be over the top.

amother

Cherry

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 9:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I just hosted for a Simcha in far Rockaway/Bayswater. I was given a beautiful 3 section dip bowl.

amother

Grape

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 9:25 pm

amother [ Cherry ] wrote:

I just hosted for a Simcha in far Rockaway/Bayswater. I was given a beautiful 3 section dip bowl.

What did they send for the guests. Did they drop off a personalized professionally packed pkg. make one themselves. Send nothing.
It’s for the guests. Typically includes schedule, water bottle, tea light, nuts, rain bonnet, mouth wash…

amother

Cherry

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 9:27 pm

amother [ Grape ] wrote:

I was just going to edit. Our guests received a bag (I don’t remember what it looked like) with water, tea lights, water, and I think some nosh.
We went to an auf ruf a couple months ago, and we got a bag with some nosh, a schedule, water, tea lights....

amother

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 11:07 pm

SYA wrote:

Its for the guests we put up by neighbors on shabbos

amother

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 11:08 pm

amother [ Grape ] wrote:

If I understand the op.

The personalization isn’t really stuff you’ll keep but just presentation of the box
Like what this company does.
https://www.instagram.com/hostitny/

Exactly what I am talking about

amother

Pear

Mon, Jun 07 2021, 12:28 am

What about a Simcha we're hosting in one big house? I was going to put water bottles in each room and a schedule in each room.. There will be plenty of snacks set up in the kitchen and other areas throughout Shabbos. Each bathroom will have sample shampoos and mouthwash. Anything else necessary? We'll have rain bonnets and ponchos in the front coat closet just in case.

amother

Crystal

Mon, Jun 07 2021, 12:35 am

amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:

Maybe this is a stupid question, but why would I WANT a box with someone's monogram on it?

EXACTLY

I feel so bad... we were guests at my sister's simcha recently (NY but not 5T/FR). She DID make a custom box. It was beautiful and we enjoyed the schedule, nuts, and chocolate.

Motsai Shabbos, as I was packing up, I picked up the box one more time, emptied the remnants, and threw it into my host's garbage can. And it was my sister's simcha!

So don't give in to peer pressure, OP. Do it the simple and classy way and save your money for something that's really important.

Raisin

Mon, Jun 07 2021, 7:40 am

My sil (not in 5 towns or even NY) had lovely cloth shopping bags printed with the chassan and kallahs name and logo. Very useful - can be used as a laundry bag or shopping bag and doesn't take up space. And no one needs those boxes, and not fair to the hosts to leave them with extra rubbish. The bags were filled with waster bottles, snacks, umbrella etc.

I've been to an event where they gave out boxes. Looked nice but not necessary. And we didn't take the boxes home, just threw them out.