Pesach and Shalom Bayis

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach

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mimivan

Wed, Apr 16 2008, 8:40 am

So I could have put this under Shalom Bayis...but I thought I'd address the root cause Very Happy

I have been reading several threads the past few days about how Pesach preparations are affecting our shalom bayis and parenting and I wanted to start this thread to give each other chizuk in this area.

It is great to hear each other's perspectives to bring us out of our own private challenges!

So I wanted to share this thought to start off... We are leaving mitzraim...and can you imagine how the couples in mitzraim must have been kvetching at each other before the big miracle.

So be ready everyone...the little tiffs (and big ones) are just the mitzraim we are escaping from as we leave Egypt!

amother

Wed, Apr 16 2008, 8:43 am

lol. BH our shalom bayis is good, but I call it my husband's pre-pesach and sick mood. Every time pesach comes he gets so stressed, and also when he is sick he makes me sad.
Thanks for the perspective.

flowerpower

Wed, Apr 16 2008, 11:16 am

im am greatful for my dh for being "normal" and even supportive when it comes to pesach!

Squash

Wed, Apr 16 2008, 11:36 am

bH my husband is really supportive and appreciative of my efforts.

my kids. rrrraaaaaaaaaa. that's another story.

last night/this morning I actually cried. I don't want to be the screaming yelling uptight mother. I'm just sooooooo tired and they know exactly when to test me. when I'm at my weakest.

they woke up at 5 am this morning. and it was in middle of the day for them. they were rummaging through the kitchen, running around, fighting, playing, as if it was 5 pm. I thought I would PLOTZ!! well, okay, I did plotz.

I hate it when I'm this way.

thanks for this thread op. keep the inspiration coming.

lamplighter

Wed, Apr 16 2008, 12:23 pm

my Dh says I'm too calm......he's so stressed!!!!!!

e1234

Wed, Apr 16 2008, 12:29 pm

Quote:

my Dh says I'm too calm......he's so stressed!!!!!!

by me it's opposite..
I'm stressed .. my husband gets super calm but then annoyed at me for being stressed...
but how can he expect to do pesach in 1 day... I can't wait like him - I can't stand it - I need to be organized b4

Mama Bear

Wed, Apr 16 2008, 1:34 pm

Every single dingle year dh and I have the fight of the year 3 days before yom tov. I finally realized why - we do TOO MUCH AT ONCE. dh comes home from work at 7, we do the grocery order, then we kasher, cover the kitchen, and unpack the order.

By 9 pm I cant move from exhaustion. and every year I end up sitting more than working, and he gets annoyed at my laziness.

this year we realized we just cant do it that way anymore. so we kashered on monday, and shopped & papered last night.

I never had sucha relaxed pre pesach in my life. and we didnt argue even once.

So, for everyone: Look into what can be causing the stress, and try to figure out how to fix it.

chocolate moose

Wed, Apr 16 2008, 1:48 pm

it's also very hard when the work goes on forever, and you can't eat and drink normally.

superjew

Wed, Apr 16 2008, 3:28 pm

Thank god me and DH have the same cleaning and perfection habits. We are the cleaning team bomb!! LOL

raizy

Wed, Apr 23 2008, 8:48 pm

yep we have the same cleaning team.. we got a cleaning lady for two weeks before peasach. it helps to land in the hospital for one whole week before peasach. they only released me bc I said I will lye in bed and not do anything hahahahha.....

so my dh doesnt like to take orders. or only one order at a time. I like to give all the orders in one shot. .so he said I will pay the cleaning lady 2 more hrs a day ... and it worked.

it also helped that for my dh. from before purim till after peasach he is so busy at work. so if I need any help I get a cleaning help... this is the time of yr that the bosses give bonus..etc.

and it worked I did everything with the cleaning help and we didnt have one major blowup... the blowup came on chal hamoed...

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