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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Preschoolers
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Feb 13 2022, 1:57 pm
delete for identifying details
Last edited by amother on Wed, May 17 2023, 9:58 pm; edited 3 times in total
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amother
Narcissus
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 1:58 pm
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My first thought is are people saying this to him? Is he being bullied?
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amother
Razzmatazz
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:01 pm
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I just want to commend you. Your doing a really good job!!
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LovesHashem
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:02 pm
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This is abnormal. I would take him to get evaluated.
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amother
Honeysuckle
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:03 pm
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Is he often rigid? Very particular about where his stuff are? A stickler for routines? Has difficulty with transitions? It almost sounds OCD-like to me.
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amother
Papayawhip
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:03 pm
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I once had a five year old student say things like this about me and other students. No, it's not normal by any stretch of the imagination. And saying the ways he wants them to die is even more not normal. Please seek psychological professional help.
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English3
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:04 pm
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I have no experience with this but have you tried giving him new language such as 'lets say this differently I am so angry\frustrated with chani,' I would tell my child that I want to hear what he is saying but I can only hear if spoken nicely.
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amother
Eggplant
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:05 pm
All the haters can roll their eyes but this is pandas in our house. After her onset, before we figured it out and got treatment going, my 4yo used to regularly say she wanted to shecht me. I’m so glad a friend pointed out that it totally wasn’t normal because it helped me connect the dots. The homicidal ideation disappeared with treatment. It still surfaces when she has strep though 
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#BestBubby
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:05 pm
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Does DS watch any videos where there is violence/killing?
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amother
Glitter
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:05 pm
This is normal for a 4 year old. Annoying, but normal. Don’t take it seriously, just be playful about it. You want to bake her in an oven? Chani cake sounds yummy! What flavor cake should we make with Chani? Here, let’s build an oven with the couch cushions and put our Chani cake in. Mmm the cake smells good
If he talks about killing her just be nonchalant about it. Really? Interesting. What are we having for breakfast this morning?
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amother
Razzmatazz
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:06 pm
| amother [ Glitter ] wrote: | This is normal for a 4 year old. Annoying, but normal. Don’t take it seriously, just be playful about it. You want to bake her in an oven? Chani cake sounds yummy! What flavor cake should we make with Chani? Here, let’s build an oven with the couch cushions and put our Chani cake in. Mmm the cake smells good
If he talks about killing her just be nonchalant about it. Really? Interesting. What are we having for breakfast this morning? |
Please don't do this. This behavior should not be normalized.
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#BestBubby
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:06 pm
When DS makes such a statement, can you get him to rephrase:
Chani makes me angry!
I don't like when Chani knocks down my toy buildings!
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LovesHashem
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:07 pm
| amother [ Glitter ] wrote: | This is normal for a 4 year old. Annoying, but normal. Don’t take it seriously, just be playful about it. You want to bake her in an oven? Chani cake sounds yummy! What flavor cake should we make with Chani? Here, let’s build an oven with the couch cushions and put our Chani cake in. Mmm the cake smells good
If he talks about killing her just be nonchalant about it. Really? Interesting. What are we having for breakfast this morning? |
Once in a while saying something would be. But not also acting violent, lacking empathy, saying this all the time etc.
OP said he said he spent an entire night of thinking of ways to murder his sister. That is really not normal. That's beyond what would be considered just annoyed at a sibling.
Last edited by LovesHashem on Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:09 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Glitter
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:08 pm
| sandyish wrote: | | Last night I yelled, and then he was mean to his sister, and he told me "mommy do you know why I was mean to chani? Because you yelled at me and it made me feel bad". |
That’s actually really advanced for a 4 year old.
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amother
Steelblue
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:08 pm
| amother [ Glitter ] wrote: | This is normal for a 4 year old. Annoying, but normal. Don’t take it seriously, just be playful about it. You want to bake her in an oven? Chani cake sounds yummy! What flavor cake should we make with Chani? Here, let’s build an oven with the couch cushions and put our Chani cake in. Mmm the cake smells good
If he talks about killing her just be nonchalant about it. Really? Interesting. What are we having for breakfast this morning? |
Wow, really? This approach sounds horrifying. I don’t think it’s a good idea to your daughter to pretend to bake her in an oven with your four year old.
I agree with the person who said to get him professional psychological help.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:09 pm
delete
Last edited by amother on Wed, May 17 2023, 10:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:09 pm
delete
Last edited by amother on Wed, May 17 2023, 10:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:10 pm
delete
Last edited by amother on Wed, May 17 2023, 10:18 pm; edited 2 times in total
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amother
Glitter
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:10 pm
| amother [ Razzmatazz ] wrote: | | Please don't do this. This behavior should not be normalized. | This part of the op is what’s concerning to me. I think the child’s reaction is pretty normal, he feels hated so he hates his sibling
| Quote: | | We do not hit our kids but I will admit that I do yell/get agressive with him sometimes when he frustrates me and pushes all my buttons. (pulling him away from a situation, pushing him away from me when he is trying to hit me out of anger, even leading him somewhere by his hair. ouch). I know I yell too much, since I am constantly frustrated (I am working on it) |
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 13 2022, 2:11 pm
delete
Last edited by amother on Wed, May 17 2023, 10:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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