Bad behavior on trip

amother

Tue, May 31 2022, 10:54 am

I just got back from a family vacation and my 5 yo behaved terribly throughout the entire trip. Whining, complaining, not following basic safety instructions, acting up in the car (throwing things, getting out of her seatbelt, trying to hit/kick/pinch me while driving).

She does have ongoing behavior issues that we're working on.

My question is really about future family trips. The other kids behaved beautifully and it wouldn't be fair for them to miss out because of her, but I don't see myself doing another family trip any time soon. Leaving her home isn't an option though, and even if it could be arranged im not sure that's the right approach to deal with her behavior.

Any suggestions?

amother

Navy

Tue, May 31 2022, 11:08 am

Maybe making an incentive chart with the target behaviors would help. Let her pick out a few small prizes or candies before the trip and every 30 minutes or so she can earn one if she has enough checks. Also, I hate screen time but maybe download some videos she can watch on headphones. It's hard when one kid ruins it for the rest. I have one difficult one too and I feel so bad when the other kids lose out because of her.

Bnei Berak 10

Tue, May 31 2022, 11:12 am

Does she say she enjoyed the trip or not?

amother

Ebony

Tue, May 31 2022, 10:03 pm

If keeping on doing family trips was important enough to me, I would try to analyze as best as I can what is setting off the negative behavior and try to proactively prevent it from happening. Lots of distractions and incentives and plans in advance for any situation that may arise.

Also, test her for pandas.

amother

Hawthorn

Tue, May 31 2022, 10:40 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Vacation can be rough on any child.
A break in routine for a child who has behavior issues at the best of times and probably thrives on routine is even tougher.

Have you tried to look at the situation through her point of view? An honest introspection would be necessary.

Family trips are tough and exhausting on adults, we try so hard to make it fun for our children, but even we get exhausted. As parents, we can reach out to our co parent when we need a hand, a child can sometimes have a hard time communicating properly when they are feeling over stimulated (lots of coming and going and non stop activities) and under stimulated (long or constant car rides). Does she have small activities to do in the car that could help her? Can you communicate with her WHY she was acting up in the car? What you can do to avoid it in the future?

I dont think expecting her to behave just because the other children do is realistic. She may need her own plan of action.

I am not judging, I am being matter of fact.
I have a 4 year old who is has behavioral issues.
I wouldn't go anywhere expecting him to appreciate it, because he can lose it easily and I know I have to be up to it.
I go home from outings often due to misbehavior, and he knows that actions have consequences, and that if he wants me to take him out he needs to behave. I am extremely consistent. Even so, he still kicks and throws tantrums. Usually they have a trigger I need to work around. Not always can I. I am not sure I am up for a vacation with him, but if I would, I would make sure to go with a plan of action and be prepared and give him the tools he needs to enjoy it too.

Hatzlacha!
I know it can be so draining and sending you hugs to not only get through this, but to thrive!

amother

DarkKhaki

Tue, May 31 2022, 11:04 pm

It’s really normal... there’s always that one kid who ruins every trip...