Please help me find my community

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Nov 10 2022, 2:19 pm

What about mill basin?
Inwood?
Not really familiar, but any areas of Staten Island an option?

amother

cornflower

Thu, Nov 10 2022, 2:28 pm

Too bad because Bergenfield or Fort Lee NJ could be good fits. It’s not hard to transfer a liscence I’ve done it.

amother

Thu, Nov 10 2022, 3:32 pm

mizle10 wrote:

Isn't that the hardest age to uproot kids? It's easier to move either when the kids are little or married. High school age kids will have a very hard time with new friends, neighbor's, schools etc.
I wouldn't move then unless absolutely necessary.

You are absolutely right about that! I did not want to give too much info, so as not to out myself. But only one DC is still in high school, and going away next year B"H. So by the time we move, we would not really be uprooting the children, only ourselves. And I choose not to think of it as uprooting, which can be truly traumatic, but rather as having a new beginning. A second chance, midlife, for a sense of community, for cultivating deeper friendships; not just superficial acquaintances ("How are you?" said in a rush, without actually caring about the answer, or stopping to listen. Or my favorite: "Let's do lunch sometimes" -- yeah right, maybe in the next life time...)

My Neshama is yearning for real connections, nature, quiet, simplicity, authenticity. My kids have their friends and are about to start their own lives. I love them more than anything, and I will always be there for them. But it's time to start thinking about what would bring me joy as well. One life to live.

amother

Thu, Nov 10 2022, 3:35 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

Too bad because Bergenfield or Fort Lee NJ could be good fits. It’s not hard to transfer a liscence I’ve done it.

I know...It's more the medical stuff than the license. Getting another license is an inconvenience but can be done. Getting adequate medical coverage with the type of insurance we have outside NY is my bigger concern.

amother

Maize

Thu, Nov 10 2022, 3:42 pm

What about the new Hempstead or New City areas in Monsey?

amother

Thu, Nov 10 2022, 4:52 pm

amother Maize wrote:

What about the new Hempstead or New City areas in Monsey?

We are looking there as well. For the 750-850k range, it's mostly high ranches, so two floors (or one and a half; the basement is usually quite small) instead of the three we are used to. It feels like downsizing. For 850-950k range, I can find some colonials, but the property taxes are usually close to 20k or higher.

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Nov 10 2022, 4:58 pm

I live in Lkwd but have never liked it. I'd like to move to a large OOT community one day. Maybe Baltimore...

amother

cornflower

Thu, Nov 10 2022, 5:28 pm

mizle10 wrote:

Agree wait until they finish high school.

amother

Tomato

Thu, Nov 10 2022, 8:36 pm

would you consider moving a bit further out in Brooklyn to a slightly cheaper neighborhood that may come with a driveway and slightly bigger backyard? Not sure where you are now but even Marine Park feels nicer that Midwood and may give you the space you are looking for.

amother

Plum

Fri, Nov 11 2022, 1:40 am

amother OP wrote:

I hear you OP, this is totally me.

My "kids" are all in their twenties now. We considered moving out of NYC years ago, but we needed to stay for the educational pieces for some of our kids. But now - now we are starting to wonder if maybe it might be possible to relocate some time in the next few years. Right now a couple are still in local colleges, but in a few more years they'll be done with school and most likely either married, living with friends, or able to commute on their own to see their friends if we pick a community not more than an hour (give or take) away.

I feel like I've spent my whole life picking where to live based on what was best for others (not accurate, LOL, but that's how I feel sometimes). Now I'd like to be a teeny bit selfish and pick what would work best for me. Honestly, I sometimes think I'd just like a fresh start, a bit of a "do-over", if you follow what I mean.

Don't get me wrong, our community is lovely, there's nothing I can really say that's massively negative about it, and it was a great fit when we first got married and the kids were little, but now I'd like to at least take a peek down the road not taken, even if just to see what it might be like...

amother

Geranium

Fri, Nov 11 2022, 5:11 am

amother OP wrote:

If your kids will anyhow be out of the house, will it really be so bad to downsize?

SheviL

Fri, Nov 11 2022, 5:26 am

STATEN ISLAND!!!
u have everything there!
plus it's very close to brooklyn.

amother

Fri, Nov 11 2022, 8:40 am

amother Geranium wrote:

If your kids will anyhow be out of the house, will it really be so bad to downsize?

Yes, because once they are B"H married with kids, I would like to be able to host them for shabbos & YT, and that's not happening in a small house where no one has their privacy. Plus, because of the nature of the work I do, I need one floor primarily dedicated to that.

amother

Fri, Nov 11 2022, 8:42 am

SheviL wrote:

STATEN ISLAND!!!
u have everything there!
plus it's very close to brooklyn.

Can you please tell me more about the community in Staten Island? What areas are litvish and not too yeshivish? Would I be able to meet other women my age? How much is the average nice (renovated) 4 bedroom colonial, with a finished basement?

amother

Fri, Nov 11 2022, 8:46 am

amother Plum wrote:

Yes, this truly resonates! I've lived my life thus far mainly focused on the needs of those around me. I am not about to abandon anyone, but I need something for me too. 'Awakening' is perhaps a big word, but this is how I feel.

amother

Fri, Nov 11 2022, 8:52 am

amother Tomato wrote:

Yes, I did consider, and I am looking around, but I can't really find any house that I like in Brooklyn for less than a 1.2 million, and our budget is 950k max. Also, I am hoping to have more of a social life in the new place, and form more substantial friendships.

amother

Fri, Nov 11 2022, 8:56 am

Does West Hempstead sound like a possible fit based on my description of who we are and what we are looking for? I know that there is both more of a MO crowd, as well as (more recently) a growing yeshivish crowd, but we are not really either one (MO or yeshivish). We are more in between .