Help non medicated student keep up

amother

Mon, Oct 24 2022, 4:51 pm

We have tried stimulants with my dc, and he cannot take them- the medical effects are too problematic. He is in middle school and needs to keep up with his work, pay attention in class, etc. Usually, in class he manages- he zones in and out and gets notes to cover what he misses, but in general the school works with us, particularly to get engaging teachers. Homework is a nightmare, especially long term projects, essays and papers.

How do kids like this do homework? I know many kids on meds whose meds wear off earlier than they finish their homework, because otherwise they wouldn't sleep. How to do it?

amother

Mon, Oct 24 2022, 5:15 pm

We're doing non stimulants. That's why school is working ok. It's better than without them, and is very helpful for the non-focis adhd issues. But he wants to learn to manage his work, and I'm still doing all the managing because he gets distracted when he's on his on and doesn't even get through the one paragraph.

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Oct 24 2022, 7:15 pm

Can he have someone working in school with him after school and help him organize his stuff and fill in his calendar with upcoming assignments, help him plan for it... He can also do his homework with him and make sure he has all the notes.

I used to do this with students and it made a tremendous difference. They came home an hour late but with no homework and calm. They knew that they are all prepared for the next day.

seeker

Mon, Oct 24 2022, 7:52 pm

Sorry if this seems like dodging the problem instead of fixing it, but does he really need to do all the homework? Sometimes it's just too much. If he's making it through the school day and just can't keep going for homework, maybe you can just dramatically reduce the expectations.

Though I also see you mentioned specifically long-term projects/essays/papers. ADHD almost always comes with difficulties in executive functioning and/including organization. In this case, the issue is not focusing per se, it's figuring out how to tackle the complex task. Looking at a large task with no clear way to start and get through is so overwhelming that they just check out. They will need to be directly taught with plenty of hand-holding how to break the task into parts and address each one. Generally, this is much easier for a tutor to do than a parent - no matter how skilled the parent is, I'm not kidding, there must be some organic incompatibility becuase I have seen endless frustration between kids and parents and then an outsider clears it up handily. You can certainly try on your own, but if you find yourself beating your head against a wall consider bringing in a third party before giving up in despair.

How old is the kid?

amother

Mon, Oct 24 2022, 8:53 pm

8th grade. He has an idea of how to break things up, but gets overwhelmed by seeing a ton of tasks to do, and has difficulty transitioning between one assignment and another, and from free time to work.

This homework help every day after school seems lovely. My school does not offer it. They suggested I could call someone to help him with this, but had no guidance on who to call, because apparently their go to person isn't doing it anymore- and was full up before that anyway. And is expensive! Where do you find someone to do this?