Kita Aleph Social Drama

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Thu, Mar 09 2023, 9:27 am

Dd7 is in kita aleph in an Israeli beit yaakov. She came home all upset today. Eventually she said it's because she has nobody to play with during hafsakot. She was playing with a friend and her older sister and a few other girls, and they don't want her to play with them now. So she's lonely and bored and feels really bad. She said this has been going on for a while.

I feel so bad for her and wish I knew how to help. I said I could give her cool stickers to trade or a jump rope or something, but she said she has those and it doesn't help. It seems like these girls do still like dd, but for some reason don't want to play with her during hafsakot. I told dd next week she could invite one of those friends or another friend and maybe that would help. I told her it's normal and happens to a lot of kids. That seemed to help. Should I speak to her teacher and ask if there are other lonely kids? Is that normal to call her about? Any other suggestions from seasoned imas? I'm new to this and it's so hard Sad

amother

Maroon

Thu, Mar 09 2023, 9:40 am

You listed some great ideas. While it is painful to see your daughter upset, you are doing all the right things to help her. I don't think it could hurt to call the teacher and get her perspective. Maybe there is even a way she can encourage more inclusively without singling out your daughter as the needy one.

amother

Currant

Thu, Mar 09 2023, 9:43 am

Definitely call the teacher. At that age the teacher is still involved during recess- she probably spends most f it turning the rope for jump rope. Does she know how/like to to jump rope?

amother

Thu, Mar 09 2023, 9:57 am

amother Currant wrote:

Definitely call the teacher. At that age the teacher is still involved during recess- she probably spends most f it turning the rope for jump rope. Does she know how/like to to jump rope?

I actually don't think the teachers are involved at all during recess at this school. The girls seem to be on their own. And it's a big school! Grades 1-8 with 3-ish classes in each grade. All outside wandering around with friends. So dd feels a little lost I think. She said she doesn't even know who other girls are with or what they do. Maybe I'll suggest she go around and look for other girls she likes in a different area.

milkchocolate

Thu, Mar 09 2023, 12:37 pm

Very normal thing to happen in kitta alef. The children feel lost in a big school after gan.

Ask an older girl to look after her, I did this with my daughter and to worked out well.

In my Israeli school I don't think the teachers are involved so that wouldn't be a good solution.

Another idea is to bring a game to play or an American doll.

Iymnok

Thu, Mar 09 2023, 12:39 pm

Does she have a gumi? Teach her some basic, simple games and tell her to ask the girl sitting next to her to come play.

amother

Electricblue

Thu, Mar 09 2023, 12:57 pm

I'm not from Isreal so I don't know if my advice could be helpful because I don't know how the system works there. On the other hand I could offer advice what I tell all my kids.

You have to be nice and friendly with everyone. They don't all have to be your best friend if one girl is not available or your group of friends are not available you will have other friends to play with.

I would invite other girls to your house for play dates. She could even invite kids that are in a grade older or a grade younger. Kids that have around the same maturity as her in different grades and share some of the same interests
Also its sometimes good to validate her lonely felling but ask her what are fun ideas she could do when no ones is available. Kids should be ok bot having a friend 24 hours at their side. The lonely feeling could be more a shameful feeling of rejection. Hopefully she will have other friends she made, to play with when she's lonely.

Page 1 of 1