PSA Ask Your Rabbi!

Cheiny

Tue, Apr 04 2023, 5:58 pm

amother Latte wrote:

Not sure why the obvious needs to be a PSA. People know who to ask shailos from.

Obviously many don’t… I too am shocked when I see how many people ask shailos here that really should be answered by a Rov.
I shudder to think how many people were potentially given a “heter” by imas here to do things they shouldn’t have just because people here “paskened” that it’s all fine… lots of times re Mikvah/TH issues among them.

Even if someone here gets a psak, doesn’t mean it can be adopted by anyone else…

amother

Razzmatazz

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 2:27 am

Ruchi wrote:

The asking of halachic and kashrus questions on this site should be banned.
Perhaps we should petition Yael about this.

A lot of times you don't even know that something is a halachic question.

Other times I find it helpful to know what some of the parameters are so I can ask an informed question to the Rav.

It would never have occurred to me to ask my Rav's opinion about some things if not for others asking or sharing the psak they received.

Additionally, there are some halachic questions which are honestly pretty black and white in Shulchan Aruch. If you accidentally splash a drop of milk into your pot of chicken soup, you don't need to ask a Rav once you learned that halacha. Is it still a halachic question and should be banned?

The only point which really needs to be emphasized is that a different Rav may follow a different shitah, and some shitos are contradictory. (To give a simple example, you can't use Rabbeinu Tam's shkiyah for the start of Shabbos and an earlier opinion for when Shabbos ends.)

DustyDiamonds

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 2:31 am

Ruchi wrote:

The asking of halachic and kashrus questions on this site should be banned.
Perhaps we should petition Yael about this.

I grew up in a super Halachic household.

And I still find some of the Halacha posts here insightful.

Obviously nobody who respects Halacha is relying on anonymous women for a complex psak. Just as nobody in a complex marriage relies on anonymous women about staying or leaving. And I wonder if anyone really names their baby a name from an Imamother post?! This is all interesting info and opinions that we’re sharing, not necessarily Toras Moshe!

Ruchi

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 2:38 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

Your LOR will not take issue with any questions you ask him, no matter how simple and clear cut the answer might be and also if it isn't even a shailoh!

As per your example above, it would still be better if all questions are banned so that there is no room for any inadvertent errors.

People should feel comfortable and confident to reach out to their own LOR with ANY questions they may have.

Ruchi

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 2:44 am

DustyDiamonds wrote:

There are women here of all types. Different brain levels and limitations too.
You had better believe that there is a very tiny minority that will take seriously the advice offered here. We cannot afford to be complacent under such circumstances. There must be an attitude of achryus to prevent any bad consequences.

amother

Razzmatazz

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 2:50 am

Ruchi wrote:

amother

Razzmatazz

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 2:53 am

Ruchi wrote:

Would this minority otherwise be asking a Rav, or otherwise paskening on their own regardless?

Perhaps we can add an "AYLOR" badge to relevant posts, possibly with the email address/link of an accessible Rav for those that need it?

Ruchi

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 3:01 am

[quote="amother Razzmatazz"]Honestly, I'd love if my Rav was as easy and accessible as Imamother! Instead I have to call between specific hours, not always get through, and be mindful of his time.

I can't go through everything I was taught in Kallah classes and ask him which of them I actually need to keep. (But if I'm made aware of the fact that some things may not be required, I can ask about those specifically.)
Are you concerned that your KT taught you things that are in fact not halacha but were presented as such?

I can't discuss hypothetical scenarios with him and debate what the halacha might be.
You state the facts and ask your shailoh. There is no need for a debate. Your LOR will advise the halacha and if he feels he needs to know more than you have shared, will question you further.

I can't shmooze with him about my Yom Tov menu and schedule and find out if anything poses a halachic concern.

I can't ask him for halachic leniencies about every single aspect of Niddah that I find difficult (it would take all day), but if I know that heterim might exist for some specific areas I can ask about those.
Why would it take all day? Are you looking for leniencies on all tne nidda halachos? 😉
Etc.[/quote]

How about calling a Beis Horoah that has friendly hours?

Ruchi

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 3:05 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

They would think they don't need to ask, now that they have found out the answer from other helpful kind people on imamother.com. Otherwise, I believe that they would ask.

The badge is a good idea. But who will police this to make sure that its being used in the correct instances?

amother

Razzmatazz

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 3:15 am

[quote="Ruchi"]

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

Honestly, I'd love if my Rav was as easy and accessible as Imamother! Instead I have to call between specific hours, not always get through, and be mindful of his time.

I can't go through everything I was taught in Kallah classes and ask him which of them I actually need to keep. (But if I'm made aware of the fact that some things may not be required, I can ask about those specifically.)
Are you concerned that your KT taught you things that are in fact not halacha but were presented as such?

I can't discuss hypothetical scenarios with him and debate what the halacha might be.
You state the facts and ask your shailoh. There is no need for a debate. Your LOR will advise the halacha and if he feels he needs to know more than you have shared, will question you further.

I can't shmooze with him about my Yom Tov menu and schedule and find out if anything poses a halachic concern.

I can't ask him for halachic leniencies about every single aspect of Niddah that I find difficult (it would take all day), but if I know that heterim might exist for some specific areas I can ask about those.
Why would it take all day? Are you looking for leniencies on all tne nidda halachos? 😉
Etc.[/quote]

How about calling a Beis Horoah that has friendly hours?

I have a Rav whose opinion I respect. He has certain things he is stricter with, and others that he is more lenient about. I don't want to just call any random Beis Horaah.

My Kallah teacher taught me many things. Some are halacha, some are minhag. I understand the difference. But there are SO. MANY. variations, and not every Rav agrees on which minhagim are binding, or which halachos are not applicable due to circumstances nowadays. From white pajamas to hargasha to what is mekabel tumah. Yes you ask specific questions, but you might not even realize that some things could be questions at all!

The definition of a hypothetical scenario is that it is hypothetical. There are no facts. But it is a halachic situation being described, and potentially someone might self-pasken from it.

I am not necessarily looking for leniencies in ALL areas of Niddah, but I would appreciate knowing that SOME can be avoided if I find them difficult. But since I find so many areas of Niddah difficult, that might take all day to figure out...

amother

Razzmatazz

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 3:18 am

Medical professionals also decry use of the internet for similar reasons. It's dangerous for people to self-diagnose, they should just go to the doctor.

But even WITH going to a doctor, asking online like this can help you figure out which doctor to go to, what questions to ask, what information to offer.

Maybe we shouldn't have medical questions allowed here either, it's potentially dangerous.

It is, but it is also potentially (and very probably) helpful and in some cases lifesaving.

Ruchi

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 3:24 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

It sounds like you need to meet your LOR and discuss all this in person. I know people who have done this.
If you find so many areas difficult, you don't necessarily have to list them all out. You can tell him exactly as you have written it here and then ask if there is any leniencies in any of tne Niddah areas.

Ruchi

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 3:27 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

Agreed, There's the good and the bad . But sometimes you have to weigh the value of the bad versus the good.

However , with Halacha one definitely doesn't want any bad outcome as it is non negotiable.