Why is it this way?

imaima

Wed, Apr 05 2023, 4:08 am

amother Oleander wrote:

I hear your frustration with being home and all the work that goes into it, but I think your statement is very close minded. You have no idea about the facts and dynamics at play in other peoples decisions and reasons why they go away.

My bracha to you is that you should be able to stay home or go away comfortably, whatever you choose, and not have the decision made for you either by others or based on circumstance.

Amother Mulberry means that’s there are some of us who have nowhere to go and they have bo choice but doing everything themselves.
She is the one who does it by circumstances.

Those who have that choice but choose to go away, shouldn’t complain. There is no such thing as decisions being made for you. Everyone is grown up

imaima

Wed, Apr 05 2023, 4:28 am

DustyDiamonds wrote:

I just got into bed, almost 4am here, and just noticed that my feet are throbbing!

I’ve been to fancy Pesach hotels. I would go back for a long weekend during the year, but not for more than 3 days, and not for Pesach. It’s nice to be served, and have entertainment for the kids.

BUT! My room was always a few minute walk from the dining room, so night meals were so challenging. Either I hired a babysitter the kids didn’t like, or kept them up super late. As they got older I put them to bed and went to check on them every 30 minutes. In my wig and nice shoes. For the day meals, my kids were forever running around and lost, and if they missed a meal there were just snacks in the tea room until the next meal.

I was either in my bed, in the dining room, or sometimes snagged a couch in the lobby, but couldn’t put my feet up and relax with a book! Which is my favorite part of YT! Relaxing in bed is not as comfortable, and it was hard to shlep snacks to my room to eat while reading in bed! And then crumbs in my bed, ugh! I love reading on my couch with snacks nearby on the end table!

The meals were loud and noisy, I was constantly running after the kids, the waiters were holding massive trays of soup and my toddlers running underfoot… the schedule was weird, after shacharis there was a massive kiddush, then an hour break, then a meal, so barely any time to chill! The chol hamoed evening entertainment ended super late, and I’d wake up around 6am from lots of noisy early bird kids running down the hallway and slamming doors!

Love being home. BH I have some cleaning help. I would love to have more, and I fully understand the challenges and hardships of not being able to afford help and conveniences.

I bless you all with lots of inner peace and good health and loads of money!

Thank you for the reminder why I hated Pessach in a hotel.

amother

Wine

Wed, Apr 05 2023, 4:48 am

amother Daylily wrote:

I feel you op. For me it’s more about the resentment than the actual hard work. It’s one thing to choose to stay home. And for those who say it’s much nicer maybe that’s because you had you’re turn being hosted and now you’re starting to stay home. I never had my turn. I always made yt. My neighbors all go away to family and I can’t stand hearing them complain about the packing. They can all stay home like I do if they so choose. It also hurts to see them being busy shopping for clothes and asking about pesach makeup when all my time and money goes to slaving in the kitchen. I wish I had my turn to be hosted. Instead I’m hosting my in-laws this year and when I said I’m cooking everything in advance one woman commented oh wow you’ll be on vacation on yt. This same women is going away and not lifting a finger. It’s like I live in another universe.

Yup. Totally feel you. I literally had no time to get out and buy a new robe or snood or anything for myself. And it’s not like once pesach arrives we can relax. It’s nonstop serving and cleaning up. Let’s not even talk abt post yomtov this year.
Yup it’s 4:47 and I have yet to see my bed.

amother

Oxfordblue

Wed, Apr 05 2023, 5:19 am

I’ve done several shabbosim in hotels. Would NEVER do pesach. Noisy dining room precludes zemiros and meaningful divrei torah by meal. Even semi private there are people and kids all over the place. Little kids underfoot in the lobby. Not relaxing at all. And I’m talking fairly upscale programs.

The only way I would do it would be a private villa. Yet even then pesach becomes about the destination and entertainment, not about the yom tov, and passing on the story of how we became a nation to the next generation.

And what about the relatives who spend sedarim and meals by us? Sure it can be hard, but in the end of the day it’s a yom tov spent with family and that’s special. Abandoning family behind for a pesach getaway seems like the Rambams description of שמחת כריסו, a hedonistic culinary experience vs a meaningful yom tov. Of course there are those who don’t have a choice due to circumstances, but I am so grateful to be making pesach at home. I’ll save my vacation for the rest of the year.

amother

Green

Wed, Apr 05 2023, 7:49 am

I work full time, started pesach for the most part on Sunday with help of my DH, shopped on Monday and cooked all of yesterday afternoon and this morning. My feet hurt and I have a headache and I still need to clean. But I am beyond grateful to have my own space for YT. If I complain it is only because I am temporarily in pain, as soon as I rest it will pass IYH. And I will be homeeeee!!!!!
The hardest chagim for me have been those spent away from home with my critical, judgmental, abusive, manipulative parents.
I am so blessed to have the opportunity to choose and create my own experience.