How much time from when dh comes home from shul till kadesh?

amother

Burntblack

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 12:16 pm

amother Floralwhite wrote:

What's he looking for? And why can't you, who have exactly the same obligation in achilas matzah, be trusted? And why can't this happen erev yom tov?

Please do not be judgemental about something that is very sacred in many homes.

There are many hiddurim that make a matzah exceptional. For the matzahs that we make a once-a-year "al achilas matzah" and are mekayem the main mitzvah d'oraysa of eating matzah, only the best will do.

Not every woman (or man, for that matter) knows what to look for. I definitely don't, and I consider myself learned. I am happy to trust my husband, who knows much more about this topic than I do (just as he trusts me in topics that I know more than him).

Yes, this process usually begins erev yom tov, if you're the organized type. But there's always a double check, plus my husband likes to show and explain to the kids why each matzah he chose was special. Its part of the seder for us, and its an opportunity for my children to learn about the ways we enhance our mitzvos. (My father used to do this erev pesach with my brothers. But my husband likes to do it at the seder. Different strokes for different folks.)

amother

Floralwhite

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 12:26 pm

amother Burntblack wrote:

If everyone is happy with the setup, then great. The problem is when the slowdowns cause friction. Then it's time to figure out ways to streamline, or integrate these conversations into the Seder itself.

amother

Poinsettia

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 12:31 pm

amother Floralwhite wrote:

What's he looking for? And why can't you, who have exactly the same obligation in achilas matzah, be trusted? And why can't this happen erev yom tov?

I’m not OP. We go to programs BH so nothing much for us to do to get ready for Seder. Choosing wine and choosing matzahs are pretty much it. But I’d never come between my husband and his Matzah. I know him and I know what’s important to him. I know what he is particular about and matzahs are one of them. It takes a few minutes to choose matzah, but it’s as important to him as (can’t think what for me right this second) to me. It wouldn’t occur to me to take this from him.