S/o minhagim being taken too far.

zaq

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 5:18 am

amother Seashell wrote:

As for the corn starch in disposables - it's an inedible derivative of a derivative. If it were edible, your paper goods would be crawling in bugs. Calling that chametz is way off base.

Especially since it comes from kitnitot.

amother

Razzmatazz

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 7:47 am

amother Seashell wrote:

It's interesting which areas of religious life have mazel and which don't. Many of the same women who wrap their kitchens in foil and eat a strictly restricted diet don't fast anything but Yom Kippur and Tisha b'av because fasting is too hard for them. Why is one hard and the other not?

There are two (self-centered) approaches that corrupt the halachic process. One is the impulse to display passion and group solidarity through additional restrictions, and one is the argument that Torah must always be pleasant, so anything that causes me discomfort clearly isn't required. Both extremes put human feelings at the center. What we need is obedience to Hashem and an adherence to the halachic system. It's not all about us.

You didn't need all this reasoning.
The simple fact is that the Rav said I don't have to fast minor fasts. He decides halacha for me. The end.

amother

Razzmatazz

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 7:58 am

amother Candycane wrote:

I almost thought you were my cousin till I read you buy the wine and matzah:)
Yes in a way plastic is better because less chance of gebrokts but we do the dishes very carefully

So you belong to one of the families stricter than us. It sounds like you don't use plastic, or only no disposable dishes? One of the major reasons I started using plastic is because washing dishes in cold water, no soap, no sponge, was a huge turnoff to me. Not to discourage you. Maybe you use dishsoap and sponges.
I also could not fathom washing dishes x 10 after standing on my feet all day cooking. Even with everyone helping, I have to be there supervising.

amother

Razzmatazz

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 8:01 am

amother Hunter wrote:

I'm all for being respectful of whatever minhag as long as it's not cumbersome on the people who have to go along with it.

What I wonder about is how careful everyone is about real halacha. There is only so much room in a brain. It's hard for me to see how someone could be so careful about the almost unrealistic possibility of chametz, or even admit it's not actually about chametz, meaning there's no halachic basis whatsoever, while at the same time not being midakdek in things that matter more. I say this about a long of things. People sometimes get caught up in what's "easier" to be a tzaddik in that in what's most important.

Are all the people who don't use plastic ( just as an example) equally careful about not insulting other people, saying lashon hara, and scrupulous about money? Those are all d'oraisa mitzvos.

I'm not insinuating they're not; but there are only so many things one can focus on.

That's a pretty awful and wild accusation. The chumrahs become second nature, they don't take brain space.

watergirl

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 8:55 am

This is another honest and not a "gotcha" question.

For those who do not use anything that touches plastic and use no processed or prepared goods - what if your husband smokes or vapes? Does he go without on chol hamoed (or even YT, for those who will light a cigarette from a flame already there)?

ETA - I just googled, tobacco grows with wheat. It said "Winter ce- real grains, such as wheat and rye, are the most commonly used cover crops in tobacco production.". A lot of the reasons people avoid certain produce items on pesach is because it grows near wheat. In the case of tobacco, it seems to be grown UNDER wheat.

amother

Molasses

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 9:14 am

amother Candycane wrote:

I almost thought you were my cousin till I read you buy the wine and matzah:)
Yes in a way plastic is better because less chance of gebrokts but we do the dishes very carefully

I guess your my husband's cousin but we started using plastic a couple of years ago...

amother

Whitewash

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 9:27 am

A workmate of mine refused to make pesach at home because her husband only wanted to her to use schmaltz. After a few years of marriage she went to their dayan (chasidish) and he told her she can use oil.
Her husband went to the dayan and said but it's my minhag. So the dayan said ",fine, so you will do the all the cooking with schmaltz and your wife will cook with oil."
( for the record for those first few years of marriage he did eat by his in laws who used oil, he just wanted in his house to follow his family "minhag")

amother

Wheat

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 9:41 am

amother Lavender wrote:

Growing up Pesach was the worst holiday. We all lost weight over the week because there was nothing more than chicken and potatoes allowed, and after 2 days and 4 meals nobody wanted to look at any version of potatoes anymore. Same after only having eggs for breakfast. Everything had to be peeled, yet we couldn't have melons "because our ancestors didn't eat those on pesach". Never mind that they didn't have silver foil that turned the entire house into a space ship either, but somehow that was different. For snacking we had a choice of apples, bananas, or oranges. There is serious residual trauma from all of that nonsense. Yes, I will call it nonsense because every year my mother managed to think of another new chumra to "make the holiday more beautiful".

When I got married I told my husband we're keeping none of this, or there will be no Pesach. Even still, every year I would dread Pesach and do less and less and bring in more "normal" food. These days, as long as something is not actual chometz it's a Pesach option. Myself and the kids happily eat kitniyos because I just can't otherwise (my husband will refrain but won't stop the rest of us).

Please ask a rav about eating kitniyos. As far as I know, it is forbidden for all Ashkenazim except under extenuating circumstances.

Ema of 5

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 9:42 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

You didn't need all this reasoning.
The simple fact is that the Rav said I don't have to fast minor fasts. He decides halacha for me. The end.

This. And for the vast majority of the people I know who only fast Yom Kippur and tisha b’av, the reason is not because “it’s too hard.” I’m sure those people exists, but that’s not the majority of the people I know of.

amother

Candycane

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 9:42 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

I understand what you are saying. It’s hard and I want to stop doing it but I want to do more research before I stop

amother

Candycane

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 9:44 am

watergirl wrote:

Bh he doesn’t if he would I hope he wouldn’t do it on Pesach

amother

Camellia

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 9:58 am

amother Taupe wrote:

I’m am so happy to be Sephardic. Growing up, the only thing we really refrained from other then actual Chametz was Chummus because it sounds like the word chametz. And also techina because it looks like chummus…
To be honest I always thought that was ridiculous.

We ate rice but checked it 3 times before eating (Which was always disappointing because we never found actual wheat kernels).

There wasn’t much else being sold in the stores as far as kitniyos goes.

My in-laws eat everything but actual Chametz. They don’t check their rice. I check mine once for the sake of it. BH we have such much available in terms of kitniyos. We can now eat kitniyos cereals nosh ice cream and snacks (ie with corn starch). Israel has so much available.

I really don’t understand the chumrus. The Torah says no Chametz.

you must not hang around other separdim, I know plenty who do not use any processed foods. They make everything from scratch. Interestingly, enough I find the very frum separdim, have very similar customs to the chasdim. Chummus in hebrew, is spelled the same way in hebrew as chametz, that is why we don't eat it. Rice is checked 3 times because the silos, sometimes can hold other grains, barley, wheat, etc.

amother

Amber

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 10:02 am

I didn’t read all 7 pages, just a piece of advice for those with many Chumros. I grew up in a household like this and it caused enormous stress, to the point that my siblings and I are all healthy, frum chassidish families but none of us follow all of my mother’s chumros. We’re all scarred from the crazy stress of Pesach, and it continues to cause issues because my parents don’t want to eat by us. Keep in mind that mesorah and minhagim are beautiful, but make sure it’s not at the cost of Simchas Yom Tov.

amother

Petunia

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 10:09 am

amother Wheat wrote:

Please ask a rav about eating kitniyos. As far as I know, it is forbidden for all Ashkenazim except under extenuating circumstances.

I was told by our very yeshivish Rav that it's not such a big deal. Little kids can have kitniyos especially if they are picky. We (adults and big kids) don't eat kitniyos or derivatives normally but when I needed tums that were kitniyos I was told of course to take it. Kitniyos is not chometz.

amother

Wheat

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 10:19 am

amother Petunia wrote:

1. You asked
2. I think most authorities would allow kitniyos that falls under refuah category
3. Most people I know would give kitniyos formula (but separate from Pesachdik kitchen)

amother

Tanzanite

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 11:33 am

Chickensoupprof wrote:

I remember a bloke coming home from Yeshivah demanding his Moroccan mum to buy napkins KLP because he wanted to be more makpid... His mum told him to make his own Pesach...

May have been more respectful to buy his own.

Thats a real thing.

amother

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 11:38 am

amother Wheat wrote:

1. You asked
2. I think most authorities would allow kitniyos that falls under refuah category
3. Most people I know would give kitniyos formula (but separate from Pesachdik kitchen)

Thats what we did when had formula fed aged baby's. We washed the bottles up in a separate sink. Last year though I asked if I can wash them up in regular sink because I don't put any dishes in my sink anyway and the Rav said yes. I have a separate sink in my garage pesach kitchen.
And use mainly disposables throughout pesach.

My sil with a very special needs child is allowed to give soya puddings and other kitniyos foods that she eats regularly, and would be very difficult without.