Why are people always trashing influencers?

amother

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 11:06 pm

I apologize that my title to this thread is blunt.

I find social media to be a (somewhat) positive place for me and I’d love to find people who relate (and please share your favorite pages because I LOVE finding new happy positive pages to follow!!!! Specifically the small micro bloggers who have fun creative content).
I don’t have a social media platform. Just as a PSA.
I’m a mom, a wife, I work full time, and have a crazy schedule and I find social media to be an outlet where I can see creativity, fashion, etc out of the comfort of my home, in the small time frame I have to relax to myself.
I’m always hearing people trashing influencers and saying how if they post their marriage they obviously aren’t happy or they’re clearly emotional unstable yada yada yada…
But…
I know sooooo many people OFF social media who have it terrible! Terrible marriages. Stressful lives. How on earth did being on social media equal to fake, unhappy, unstable??
Clearly they’re only posting 0.1% of their lives. We get that. But who said the other percentage is bad?

Skip if you’ve never had this kind of experience but I’ve sat at events and just heard people nonstop trash talking these people.

I get that there’s fakeness involved but I don’t think social media is an exclusive platform for people who are unhappy.

Correct me if I’m wrong. I’m open to conversation.

amother

Quince

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 11:08 pm

I find it to be toxic for me. If I’m surrounded by beautiful people with Hermes bags and van cleef jewelry getting new lace top wigs all the time I’m obviously going to feel sad that I’m driving an old minivan, have an old wig and a no name bag, and have to work…
Forget about fancy vacations…

amother

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 11:12 pm

amother Quince wrote:

The fact that you knew the brands, haha good for you! I don’t even know name brands but I enjoy seeing nice things even if I can’t afford it myself. It doesn’t bother me because again I know where my money goes and I’m okay with that!
I’m just trying to find if anyone else has a positive experience. But tysm for sharing because I really appreciate hearing the perspective.

giftedmom

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 11:13 pm

It’s the kids for me.
The fakeness, plastic smile and silky voice, fine live and let live yada yada.
But influencers whose kids have to play along, looking terrified the whole time. Who speak to their kids in an abusive tone ON camera (who knows what they do off). Even and especially influencers who claim to be parenting experts but clearly abuse their kids for likes to show “how well it’s working”….
And that’s not even mentioning the dangers of posting your kids online, and the fact that they’re too young to consent.

amother

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 11:13 pm

amother Moonstone wrote:

OP - are you being "influenced" by the "influencers" or just entertained.

Both. But I don’t find it to be that unhealthy and it makes me confused where this idea of everyone being on social media (tiktok Instagram etc) is unhealthy.. Id love to know.

amother

Moonstone

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 11:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

Both. But I don’t find it to be that unhealthy and it makes me confused where this idea of everyone being on social media (tiktok Instagram etc) is unhealthy.. Id love to know.

If you are being influenced by a person who really is an illusion - that's what people get all fussed about.

I don't think everyone who is on instagram is unhealthy. I think if the focus of your life is turning yourself and those around you into content - something is off.

DustyDiamonds

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 11:31 pm

I enjoyed social media.

I was raised by a dysfunctional mother, only child, so I love all the information!!!! When I got married 20+ years ago, I kept bumping into things that everyone else knew that I was clueless about! No longer!

Also, although I sometimes find myself feeling jealous, I’ve been telling myself:

A new wig/dress/shoes/earrings… are things I’d enjoy for a few minutes a day when I pass by a mirror! When other people have these things, I can enjoy them just as well!

(And obviously this self talk only works since I thankfully have good wigs and a good wardrobe, even though it’s nothing compared to some of what I see online!)

I enjoy pretty things and love information. I pity myself in the 90’s, always wearing and doing the wrong thing because I had no guidance.

amother

Brunette

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 11:31 pm

I think there’s a healthy way to use social media. You have to be mindful.
I use it In a way that works for me. I look for stuff that interest me, inspire me to do better in my own life, etc comedy, healthy recipes, etc.
I hardly ever turn my volume up.
I’m also very good at unfollowing people.

Ihatepotatoes

Sat, Jun 10 2023, 11:33 pm

For multiple reasons. Some do it because of jealousy, sure. But the majority that I’ve heard complain do it for one of two reasons. One, as referenced above, they treat kids and others around them like props, but more importantly, many of them project an image that is fake and untypical but at the same time portray themselves (sometimes explicitly) of being “everyday mom/woman” which drives people to live beyond their means, or gives people anxiety about not fitting in, with all the accompanying loss of social capital associated with being a neb/ out of touch. While that isn’t solely the fault of the influencers, I believe people use them as a symbol for frum society in general becoming very shallow, vacuous, and materialistic..

Onajourney7

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 12:10 am

I have a mental health page on Instagram. I wouldn’t call myself an influencer in any way. My Instagram page is very real. My followers know about my struggles, my ups and downs etc. I don’t do collaborations or post giveaways. I do it because I feel I can help many ppl with sharing my life.

amother

Oleander

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 12:26 am

I’ve gained a lot from Instagram! Parenting accounts like solidstarts (info about baby led weaning), SharonMazel (one of the authors of what to expect, tons of useful hands on knowledge about babies and toddlers) and several nursing accounts that I don’t follow anymore because I’m not nursing but really helped me on my nursing journey.

Recipes - Sarah lasry has a lot of fun ones, peaslovncarrots, between carpools (also good for random frum mom tips), Chez chaya and a bunch more I’m not remembering now.

Shopping! I get links to cheap, in style clothing for myself and my kids without having to spend time looking for them. Can’t think of specific accounts I get this from, it’s really just the lifestyle sharing people that end up sharing good links.

I go on unfollowing sprees every few months and unfollow anyone who’s been negatively affecting me. People who show off swimming at their pools on hot days are a pet peeve of mine, stop making everyone jealous! Enjoy it in private.

People who share about their kids issues on Instagram really disgust me. It’s such a wrong thing to do to a kid.

flowerpower

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 1:02 am

Onajourney7 wrote:

What is your name there?

amother

Mauve

Sun, Jun 11 2023, 1:04 am

Because the whole idea of being an influencer is not a Jewish concept. It means you're an empty shell of a person running after kavod all day. It's the complete antithesis of tznius and Torah values, and we all know it instinctively.