Wrong name | Imamother

amother

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 2:05 pm

I often introduce myself by both of my names only to be called by my second name only. And then introduced to others by that name Banging head

sometimes it gets very annoying because I really don't want to be called that and I specifically say both of my names, trying to do so as clearly as I can in order not to end up in this situation...
I end up ignoring it many times because I don't know what to say... But it does bother me, and the longer it goes on the more frustrated I get and I really want to say something.
On the other hand, I don't want to be that person who corrects people and makes them feel bad, so I just keep it in.
What can I say? How? When?
I don't want to make anyone feel awkward.
Did you ever find a good way to correct people on your name? Or were you corrected in a sensitive way? Please share ideas!!!

watergirl

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 2:08 pm

"Hi, my name is Sara Rivka".
Oh! hi Rivka!
"I'm sorry, please call me Sara Rivka".

To the point is the way to go ever time.

But I've never heard anyone cutting off the first name in favor of the second, usually it's the other way around, people cut out the second name. Why would anyone do this unless directed to do so?

amother

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 2:32 pm

The issue is people don't always then repeat your name to you...

So many gune sonly later in conversation or even another day

Worst is when someone else joins the conversation and then they introduce me to new person as "Rivka"- then what? I feel bad to cut them off in front of new person and correct
I'd look like a jerk

amother

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 2:33 pm

watergirl wrote:

I'm not actually sure why... But it keeps happening

Maybe because my first name is a shorter name? No idea

watergirl

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 2:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

You won’t look like a jerk at all. She introduces you with the wrong game, to say “hi, it’s actually Sara Rivka, nice to meet you”.
ETA - in fact, you would be sparing people from embarrassment later on. I'd feel like an idiot if I called someone by the wrong name and if the person had a chance to tell me and didn't, I'd THEN wonder why. And yes, I'd be really embarrassed.

NechaMom

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 2:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm not actually sure why... But it keeps happening

Maybe because my first name is a shorter name? No idea

I can see that happening when the first name is just one syllable. Like Chay Devoira becomes Devoira. Because that’s the name they mostly hear. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with correcting people every time you hear it wrong.

Iymnok

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 2:56 pm

"this is Rivka"
"My name is Sarah Rivka, nice to meet you!"

My daughter has two names and the second often gets dropped. They say her name, and she immediately repeats it back with the second.
It's smooth and people get it.
She has practice from many teachers in school who don't bother with double BB names.

amother

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 8:34 pm

NechaMom wrote:

Yes, it is a name like that

amother

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 8:35 pm

Is there a WRONG way of correcting when introduced to someone else?
Besides being rude, mad, etc
Would be happy to hear any experiences

I'd rather err on the side of caution

Cheiny

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 8:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

I often introduce myself by both of my names only to be called by my second name only. And then introduced to others by that name Banging head

There’s nothing wrong with correcting someone politely if they get your name wrong. Just smile and say, “That’s CHANA Rochel.”

Cheiny

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 8:49 pm

watergirl wrote:

Why “I’m sorry?”

amother

Gray

Fri, Jun 16 2023, 4:54 am

DH has a double barrel name. One of his friends just calls him by his first name. When I asked my DH why he said when he introduced himself this guy only heard the first name so now it kinda just stuck.

I've seen my DH with a whole group of friends who all call him full name and this one guy calls him just the first name🤷‍♀️

watergirl

Fri, Jun 16 2023, 7:54 am

Cheiny wrote:

Why “I’m sorry?”

Not an apology, this “I’m sorry” is used when correcting someone, it’s a polite way to do so. It’s a common phrase before a correction.

amother

Hosta

Fri, Jun 16 2023, 8:00 am

amother Gray wrote:

Luckily they call him any name at all. My son and his friends only call each other by their last names Very Happy

amother

Navyblue

Fri, Jun 16 2023, 10:04 am

amother Hosta wrote:

Luckily they call him any name at all. My son and his friends only call each other by their last names Very Happy

Very common among the yeshivish set. Maybe among boys altogether? There are families in my neighborhood who refer to themselves, boys and girls both, as "Surname." When the kids come around with MM or collecting for their yeshiva, you ask "Who is it?" and they say "Surname." Not "Yitzie Surname" or "Suri Surname," just "Surname." And for the most part they have very common ones, like Friedman, Stern, and Cohen, too.