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-> Household Management
teachkids
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 Mon, Jun 26 2023, 9:22 am
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We realized it's really time for us to write our will, but since we have multiple kids it needs to be a halachik will. It's there some sort of template we can use, or someone who does it for a reasonable price?
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zaq
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 10:44 am
| teachkids wrote: | | We realized it's really time for us to write our will, but since we have multiple kids it needs to be a halachik will. It's there some sort of template we can use, or someone who does it for a reasonable price? |
Contact the OU for info. I believe they have such a thing.
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MiracleMama
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 10:55 am
| teachkids wrote: | | We realized it's really time for us to write our will, but since we have multiple kids it needs to be a halachik will. It's there some sort of template we can use, or someone who does it for a reasonable price? |
Feeling stupid to ask this, but please explain the bolded.
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BH Yom Yom
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 11:02 am
| MiracleMama wrote: | | Feeling stupid to ask this, but please explain the bolded. |
From the OU link I listed above:
A halachic will has a workaround that allows someone to determine how they want their assets split among their kids/ beneficiaries.
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MiracleMama
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 11:06 am
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Ty, B"H Yom Yom. I understand the difference, but you're saying that one can leave equally to all children but some kind of special loophole language must be included to make it hold up halachikly?
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BH Yom Yom
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 11:13 am
Yes, basically that the halachic yorshim acquire a huge debt that is larger than the value of the estate. They can get out of owing the debt by agreeing to the distribution of assets as you intend.
I would recommend you check out the OU website, that explains it pretty well.
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MiracleMama
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 11:22 am
| BH Yom Yom wrote: | Yes, basically that of the halachic yorshim acquire a huge debt that is larger than the value of the estate. They can get out of owing the debt by agreeing to the distribution of assets as you intend.
I would recommend you check out the OU website, that explains it pretty well. |
Thanks. Will definitely check it out. We made our wills and our living wills so long ago and I know DH consulted with our rabbi on various issues through the process but I just don't have any recall of any unique language with regard to this. Maybe I forgot or never noticed. Or maybe we missed something important.
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 11:22 am
I still believe in the Torah's recommendation to give the firstborn son double. He definitely bore the brunt of my inexperience, he helped me raise the others is so many ways, I can depend on him doing the right thing with the money- even helping the others if they need it as he does now. I am definitely blessed to be able to do as the Torah requires.
A friend tells me she is leaving it all for her youngest who she feels bore the brunt of being the child born when she had less energy and unfortunately HAS to be raised by his elder sibs and has the weakest financial success so she is trying to even the playing field. Yes she knows she has to do it before she goes so to speak.
Another friend jokes that the eldest get double the leftover debt.
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teachkids
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 11:25 am
| MiracleMama wrote: | | Feeling stupid to ask this, but please explain the bolded. |
Everyone explained it, but basically we started the process years ago when we had just 1 kid, so it was easy- they got everything- and never finished it. Now we have a mix of girls and boys so what Torah says they get and what we want to do aren't the same.
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BH Yom Yom
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 11:26 am
| B'Siyata DiShamaya wrote: | I still believe in the Torah's recommendation to give the firstborn son double. He definitely bore the brunt of my inexperience, he helped me raise the others is so many ways, I can depend on him doing the right thing with the money- even helping the others if they need it as he does now. I am definitely blessed to be able to do as the Torah requires.
A friend tells me she is leaving it all for her youngest who she feels bore the brunt of being the child born when she had less energy and unfortunately HAS to be raised by his elder sibs and has the weakest financial success so she is trying to even the playing field. Yes she knows she has to do it before she goes so to speak.
Another friend jokes that the eldest get double the leftover debt. |
I get that the bechor is the guinea pig and his parents get experience by parenting him before they parent other children. OTOH, the same thing happens with the bechorah, and SHE doesn’t get pi shnayim… 
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OOTforlife
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 11:28 am
| B'Siyata DiShamaya wrote: | I still believe in the Torah's recommendation to give the firstborn son double. He definitely bore the brunt of my inexperience, he helped me raise the others is so many ways, I can depend on him doing the right thing with the money- even helping the others if they need it as he does now. I am definitely blessed to be able to do as the Torah requires.
A friend tells me she is leaving it all for her youngest who she feels bore the brunt of being the child born when she had less energy and unfortunately HAS to be raised by his elder sibs and has the weakest financial success so she is trying to even the playing field. Yes she knows she has to do it before she goes so to speak.
Another friend jokes that the eldest get double the leftover debt. |
So are you planning to leave nothing to your daughters?
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shyner
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 11:38 am
| B'Siyata DiShamaya wrote: | I still believe in the Torah's recommendation to give the firstborn son double. He definitely bore the brunt of my inexperience, he helped me raise the others is so many ways, I can depend on him doing the right thing with the money- even helping the others if they need it as he does now. I am definitely blessed to be able to do as the Torah requires.
A friend tells me she is leaving it all for her youngest who she feels bore the brunt of being the child born when she had less energy and unfortunately HAS to be raised by his elder sibs and has the weakest financial success so she is trying to even the playing field. Yes she knows she has to do it before she goes so to speak.
Another friend jokes that the eldest get double the leftover debt. |
The Torah's recommendation is pretty irrelevant nowadays.
The bechor gets pi shnayim because they used to be their fathers right hand man in business, basically built up the business so they deserve a bigger yerushah.
The daughters are meant to be provided for by their family until marriage and would rely on their husbands after marriage, their husband is expecting to yarshen their father so the daughters theoretically have no need for yerusha in times of chazal.
Nowadays things are entirely different and in most families all children "deserve" equal yerusha.
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 12:27 pm
| BH Yom Yom wrote: | | I get that the bechor is the guinea pig and his parents get experience by parenting him before they parent other children. OTOH, the same thing happens with the bechorah, and SHE doesn’t get pi shnayim… |
I cant speak to that situation but would imagine that if my bechor was a bechorah I would feel the same and do the same for her as for him.
Arent we lucky to be able to speak like this, only Hashem knows what will be "left" after meah vesrim and in all honesty, money comes from Hashem. so what we do really doesnt matter.
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 12:31 pm
| shyner wrote: | The Torah's recommendation is pretty irrelevant nowadays.
The bechor gets pi shnayim because they used to be their fathers right hand man in business, basically built up the business so they deserve a bigger yerushah.
The daughters are meant to be provided for by their family until marriage and would rely on their husbands after marriage, their husband is expecting to yarshen their father so the daughters theoretically have no need for yerusha in times of chazal.
Nowadays things are entirely different and in most families all children "deserve" equal yerusha. |
So glad you 'splained things to me.
Since this is a personal issue I imagine each of us will do what is good for our situation.
If you want to divide things "equally" , please do so, I think it has to be done according to halacha so that there is no fighting between the kids,
Our children will have as much money as Hashem wants for them, no matter what we do.
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OBnursemom
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 12:35 pm
| B'Siyata DiShamaya wrote: | I still believe in the Torah's recommendation to give the firstborn son double. He definitely bore the brunt of my inexperience, he helped me raise the others is so many ways, I can depend on him doing the right thing with the money- even helping the others if they need it as he does now. I am definitely blessed to be able to do as the Torah requires.
A friend tells me she is leaving it all for her youngest who she feels bore the brunt of being the child born when she had less energy and unfortunately HAS to be raised by his elder sibs and has the weakest financial success so she is trying to even the playing field. Yes she knows she has to do it before she goes so to speak.
Another friend jokes that the eldest get double the leftover debt. |
The one who bore the brunt of my inexperience is a girl. The youngest is also a girl. I’m in trouble either way. Lol.
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keym
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 12:42 pm
I just want to comment.
My in-laws were very busy with their halachic will, and their Rav told them that there actually is a very big mitzva to fulfill the halachos of yerusha especially pi shnayim according to halacha.
Let's say my in-laws have 5 sons, 4 daughters. Their Rav recommended that they gift their each of their children (including the girls) each 1/9 of their assets 20 minutes before in-laws pass away (it should be many years from now) but they should leave around $600 in their assets at the time they pass.
And those $600 should be left halachicly as yerusha - for their sons $100 each and double $200 for the oldest.
I'm not explaining it well.
But my in-laws will divest all their assets immediately before they pass, leaving a token amount to halachicly divide for yerusha.
Just commenting because I thought it was interesting.
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MiracleMama
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 12:46 pm
| keym wrote: | I just want to comment.
My in-laws were very busy with their halachic will, and their Rav told them that there actually is a very big mitzva to fulfill the halachos of yerusha especially pi shnayim according to halacha.
Let's say my in-laws have 5 sons, 4 daughters. Their Rav recommended that they gift their each of their children (including the girls) each 1/9 of their assets 20 minutes before in-laws pass away (it should be many years from now) but they should leave around $600 in their assets at the time they pass.
And those $600 should be left halachicly as yerusha - for their sons $100 each and double $200 for the oldest.
I'm not explaining it well.
But my in-laws will divest all their assets immediately before they pass, leaving a token amount to halachicly divide for yerusha.
Just commenting because I thought it was interesting. |
Not everyone knows when they are dying. Sudden heart attack? Car accident? What then? I mean, it sounds good in theory, but....
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GLUE
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 12:49 pm
| shyner wrote: | The Torah's recommendation is pretty irrelevant nowadays.
The bechor gets pi shnayim because they used to be their fathers right hand man in business, basically built up the business so they deserve a bigger yerushah.
The daughters are meant to be provided for by their family until marriage and would rely on their husbands after marriage, their husband is expecting to yarshen their father so the daughters theoretically have no need for yerusha in times of chazal.
Nowadays things are entirely different and in most families all children "deserve" equal yerusha. |
I heard that unmarried girls get 10% off the top, as in if a man left behind $100 the first girl would get $10 then next girl would get 10% from $90 ect.. What ever money is left over would go to the sons.
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keym
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Mon, Jun 26 2023, 12:51 pm
| MiracleMama wrote: | | Not everyone knows when they are dying. Sudden heart attack? Car accident? What then? I mean, it sounds good in theory, but.... |
They wrote the will a year ago.
It legally and halachicly takes effect 20 minutes before they pass.
There is a legal and halachic mechanism to do that. And it takes effect retroactively.
That's why I'm not explaining myself well.
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