Ped has children undress at well visits

amother

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:18 pm

My ped has kids undress fully and change into a (flimsy, not full coverage...) gown at every well visit. They examine the entire body including checking private parts. When my kids were little this wasn't such an issue but they're pre-teens now and so uncomfortable with it. I can't help but feel it's unnecessary if the child isn't having any pain or other symptoms? Like what is the point? It's very important to me to teach my children about body safety and I feel like it's not right to force them to do this if they're uncomfortable AND there's no medical reason (it would be different if there was an issue we needed to check out).

Last time we went my DD10 absolutely refused and I let it go. The doctor didn't object except to comment that she "can't know if she's showing signs of puberty like pubic hair etc without an exam." Like... can't you just ask?! That doesn't feel like a good enough reason to me.

What do you think?

amother

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:21 pm

amother Blueberry wrote:

Not uncommon at all

Yeah, I know it's not uncommon. I just haven't really heard a good justification for it yet...

What potential issues would turn up on exam that WOULDN'T be causing the child any symptoms?

amother

Ultramarine

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:23 pm

Our pediatrician has them remain fully clothed, but does do a quick peak at private parts by getting child's consent (with parent present only) to pull down underwear to check.
Im happy with this.
No professional doctor would do a proper assessment only by hearing from the parent that xyz is present-they need to assess for themselves as they can pick up on things that may look off, that a layperson wouldnt realize

keym

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:25 pm

This feels excessively and old fashioned to me.
My kids stay fully dressed except shoes for visits. They are asked to lift or unbutton their shirts, but can leave on undershirt for stethoscope.
The Dr lifts undershirt to check the spine but explains what he's doing.
And takes a quick check in the underwear while explaining that he/she is only doing it with a parent in the room to check. (He's checking for hernias, twisted or undescended or irregular t*sticles)
That's it.

30/40 years ago, we were all expected to strip to our underwear. It feels very old-fashioned to continue that practice

Jmo

Window

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:25 pm

My pediatrician never did that. She examined what had to be examined while gently lifting up my shirt or whatever.
My friend spoke about undressing and wearing a hospital gown for checkups and I remember feeling like my doctor wasn’t legit😂.
Even as an adult, I don’t have to strip, they just check what needs to be checked while I’m mostly clothed

amother

Pearl

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:25 pm

agree, it's not uncommon at all. My kids peds does the same. They don't like it but I don't like it doing it either when I go for a well visit. The doctor does her own safety talk before she checks their private areas, every time, from when they are about a year old. It's part of growing up and being responsible and learning to take care of your body.

Also, isn't the point of a well visit exactly that. Nothing is bothering you but you go anyway for the doctors expertise as 'preventive' care. She can't help you if she can't notice the things you may miss.

amother

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:26 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

Ok... so if it was a 5 yo girl and I thought she was growing pubic hair, that would be a reason for an exam.
If she's 10 both having pubic hair and not having pubic hair are totally normal so what's the need to check?

amother

Electricblue

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:28 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

My pediatrician as well. And they don’t do these exams on my kids who are fully developed.

amother

Jasmine

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:39 pm

My ped did it and I felt so uncomfortable about it. I hated it. For that reason and a few other reasons we switched drs and my new doctor didn’t do which I was so happy about.
If your daughter isn’t comfortable just tell the doctor no. If there’s no concerns there’s no need to check the underwear either.

amother

Saddlebrown

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:40 pm

I think there’s a happy medium. Mine has them keep on underwear and undershirt and gown over for the bigger kids.
I actually went for a well visit myself recently and was surprised that I stayed entirely dressed. It didn’t feel thorough to me at all. Was mostly blood work and conversation.

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:43 pm

amother Mocha wrote:

Trust your gut and your comfort level.
I wouldn’t do it
And our ped didn’t do this either

Agree.
If you or they are uncomfortable then don’t do it.

Like Maybe they should do a full body ultrasound incase you don’t know that they have kidney stones or who knows what?
No. If something bothers them they will tell you.

Chayalle

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 1:46 pm

I remember this being the case when I was very young. And when I was a preteen, my mother switched me to a different pediatrician who didn't do this, and was also female (and more comfortable for me). Something I appreciated.

amother

NeonYellow

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 2:08 pm

I was forced to do this as a kid, and felt really violated. As an adult when the nurse at the ob office asks me to strip I nod my head politely but keep my clothes on. I've also given birth on my own clothes. I also absolutely refuse any exam that doesn't have a valid medical reason, and likewise for my kids. "Checking whether she's showing signs of puberty" for a healthy 10 year old, for me, wouldn't be valid enough. And if there is a valid reason, I would insist on same gender doctor, clothes on, and whatever else my child needs to feel comfortable. There's something really incongruous about a doctor giving a safety talk with her words, while simultaneously teaching the kid through her actions that she really doesn't have any say over her own body. I could go on with my rant, and will if any Ima here disagrees.

Hashem_Yaazor

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 2:18 pm

Our old pediatrician didn't do this but our current one does. They actually tell them to strip to just underwear and offer if they want a gown on top. Seriously? Of course they do! They actually didn't even have a gown for my 7 yo last month and I insisted they give her one even if it's too big. I like the practice otherwise...
My oldest has just not changed and his ped was fine with it but he retires today 😕

I think it's absolutely ridiculous and violating but I don't want to make a big deal and project my feelings so that my girls won't catch them from me.

amother

Green

Fri, Jun 30 2023, 2:27 pm

It is my understanding that the doctor cannot properly check for scoliosis by simply lifting up the shirt. The child has to have their back exposed and they must bend forward from the waist to see abnormalities.
My pediatricians would have the kids keep on their bra/undershirt and underwear and when it came time to check the back, the kid would remove the top garment in a way which did not expose their chests, (in other words, keeping their backs toward the doctor) lean forward, and then replace the top.
When it comes to checking their private area, they may have a directive to check to make sure that there is no signs of abuse in that area in addition to other reasons. It really should be for just one moment.
I know it's not fun to get unclothed, but you may be doing your kids a disservice by opting for a doctor who doesnt do this. It can also teach them that they should be afraid to get naked in front of a doctor. That may not be so healthy. (Of course this is if you can get a female doctor for the girls and a male doctor for the boys.) I stayed in the room with my kid and turned my back when they removed their base layers. This made them more comfortable - that they weren't "alone" with the doctor.
There should be no reason for the doctor to see the girls chests once they are developing. They are not getting a breast exam.