Volunteers in Monsey to help at bedtime? 9th month

amother

Sun, Jul 09 2023, 10:13 pm

I'm wondering if anything like this exists: volunteers to help with childcare in the evenings. I'm looking for someone to simply sit with my kids for a few hours until they fall asleep. I'm in my ninth month, exhausted, with so much to do that's not happening, and my little ones can come out of bed for a full 2-3 hours after bedtime. I have to sit in a chair near their rooms for 2-3 hours every night and it's just not doable at this stage. That's after a full hour of getting them ready for bed which totally wipes me out.

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Jul 09 2023, 10:41 pm

Sorry you're dealing with it, this isn't normal. Better to just take care to stop this before the baby comes. As long as you're going along with it, your kids will take advantage.
Maybe they need a later bedtime? If they nap, perhaps it's time to cut their nap?

amother

Ultramarine

Sun, Jul 09 2023, 10:41 pm

You need to revamp your bedtime routine. It will only get harder with a newborn. Sitting 2-3 hours at their door is insane. No volunteer or parent should be feeding in to this!

amother

Sun, Jul 09 2023, 11:45 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

You need to revamp your bedtime routine. It will only get harder with a newborn. Sitting 2-3 hours at their door is insane. No volunteer or parent should be feeding in to this!

If I don't literally guard their door, they come out and act nuts TMI

Today DH took them out during the day and the 2 younger ones fell asleep exhausted when they got home at 4. I was resting at the time and didn't realize until I got up. He let them sleep for 2 hours At wits end

But they do this during the week too, maybe not as many hours but they still do it. I really don't have any other way to make them stay in bed. And I don't put them to bed so early, somewhere between 7:30-8:30.

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Jul 09 2023, 11:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

If I don't literally guard their door, they come out and act nuts TMI

Try giving them melochews.
And don't sit there. Don't react. They just know they can take advantage of you. If they're sleeping in the same room, try splitting them up.
Make sure they’re not hungry or thirsty, and every time they come out of bed, just silently walk/put them back to bed. Repeat again and again.

amother

Sun, Jul 09 2023, 11:50 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

Yes that's what I do. Just repeat "go back to bed". The sitting on a chair is to "guard", not interact. If they talk I say shhhh, we're sleeping now.
I don't have anywhere to split them up. If I put the 2.5 year old in a different room somewhere else, this kid will come out and go to the others unless I'm sitting there. Same with the 4.5 year old, if I'm sitting somewhere else that one will also come out and wander around. It's like wack a mole.

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Jul 09 2023, 11:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes that's what I do. Just repeat "go back to bed". The sitting on a chair is to "guard", not interact. If they talk I say shhhh, we're sleeping now.

Try splitting them up in different rooms.
I find that if I shush my kids when they talk in bed, it takes them longer to fall asleep. When I ignore, they talk and giggle for a bit and fall asleep.

amother

Sun, Jul 09 2023, 11:56 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

Try splitting them up in different rooms.
I find that if I shush my kids when they talk in bed, it takes them longer to fall asleep. When I ignore, they talk and giggle for a bit and fall asleep.

I don't have anywhere to split them up. If I put the 2.5 year old in a different room somewhere else, this kid will come out and go to the others unless I'm sitting there. Same with the 4.5 year old, if I'm sitting somewhere else that one will also come out and wander around. It's like wack a mole.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Jul 10 2023, 12:33 am

I don’t know anything about volunteers In monsey but your bedtime routine needs a major overhaul. Saying this kindly as someone who’s been there done that.
Baby sleep maven has a preschool course that is extremely worth it and was life changing for us. If you can find the time to do it, I highly recommend this course for the exact kind of issues you’ve been dealing with. There’s no way you’ll be able to deal with all that when you’re postpartum either.

https://babysleepmaven.com/gui.....sPSZE