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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Other special days
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:37 am
I am chassidish and in our circles we don't go to our childs bris. We send them to shul with grandparents and then we have a bris seuda together.
If you are chassidsh do you go to your kids bris? If not do you know a reason why you don't?
I really want to go to my kids bris and everyone is turning me off, but nibosy has given me a proper reason why.
( I do know that in other circles mothers do attend the actual bris)
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ShishKabob
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:38 am
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No, we don’t. I did go to the Seudah though.
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pause
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:39 am
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No, and I'm so grateful that this is our minhag.
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SuperWify
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:40 am
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Yes. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
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amother
Sand
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:40 am
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Also chassidish. I didn’t. I pumped a bottle and the shul was on the next block.
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Busybee5
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:42 am
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Yes to all of them. Not chassidish though.
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amother
Magenta
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:46 am
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Yes I went. No way I would miss it. The not going is sort of old wives tale that became mesorah.
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amother
Oleander
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:49 am
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Chassidish, and of course I went. In my community, women go.
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rivkam
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:53 am
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I was there but also not chassidish. In my circles it would be strange not to go. I also wanted to speak to the mohel and make sure I understand what needs to be done after the bris
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smss
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:55 am
I'm not chassidish, I did go, the reason given that I've heard for not going is that it's too hard on the mother to see her baby in pain.
If that doesn’t resonate with you and you want to go, then go! It's a community practice not any sort of halacha...
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amother
Orchid
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:57 am
No, and I’m glad.
The baby is brought back to me right after the bris and the guest go ahead and have a seudah without me. There are not many women other than the grandparents and siblings. I’m not upto a public party a week after a baby anyway, so I’m glad we have the minhag not to go.
You can make a poll.
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amother
Orchid
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:58 am
| rivkam wrote: | | I was there but also not chassidish. In my circles it would be strange not to go. I also wanted to speak to the mohel and make sure I understand what needs to be done after the bris |
The mohel comes to our house once or twice afterwards to check and follow up.
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amother
Yarrow
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 5:58 am
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I did go. Would be strange not to. Also I want to be there to nurse the baby the minute they are done.
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Amelia Bedelia
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 6:06 am
| smss wrote: | I'm not chassidish, I did go, the reason given that I've heard for not going is that it's too hard on the mother to see her baby in pain.
If that doesn’t resonate with you and you want to go, then go! It's a community practice not any sort of halacha... |
To add to that, it's a mitzvah so it's inappropriate to have that pang when you see your child in pain. This is the reason why many chassidish women have the minhag not to go.
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amother
Mintgreen
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 6:11 am
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I am chassidish and go. My mother in law was livid about it. But since many of her kids and grandkids go to their kids brissim. It’s not made for everyone.
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amother
Raspberry
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 6:12 am
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Not chassidish, but I wasn't in the actual shul for the bris because I wasn't up to climbing the stairs to the Ezra's nashim, I just waited in the lobby with my mom whicj was perfect
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Chayalle
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 6:14 am
I don't have any sons but if I did, live dragons couldn't keep me from my baby at his bris.
For those of you who don't go to your son's bris. I say this with respect for your minhag, but please make sure there's someone who is REALLY taking care of your baby at the Bris. The whole time. Someone designated to stay with him.
My sister went to her nephew's Bris. Her husband's brother is Chassidish. She drove into Brooklyn with her two little ones. When she arrived at the shul, she heard the sound of a newborn crying. Followed the sound into a room, where her little nephew was in his car seat with not a single adult in sight. The men were in the Bais Medrash room davening, and her MIL and he SIL's mother were in the hall downstairs, setting up. NO ONE was watching the baby. She said she could've taken him, no one would've known. She stayed there comforting him while watching her own two little ones, till the mohel showed up.
FYI my best friend couldn't be at her son's bris, due to some post-birth complications. I was privileged to go the Bris and be the designated person to stay with him and take care of him, and then take him from the Bris straight to the kimpeturin heim where she was recovering.
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amother
Cornsilk
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 6:14 am
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Not chaddidish. It’s unfathomable for me not To go. My baby needs his mother in his moment of pain, I want to be the first person who holds him and I want to daven for him when he cries.
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amother
Orchid
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 6:15 am
| Chayalle wrote: | I don't have any sons but if I did, live dragons couldn't keep me from my baby at his bris.
For those of you who don't go to your son's bris. I say this with respect for your minhag, but please make sure there's someone who is REALLY taking care of your baby at the Bris. The whole time. Someone designated to stay with him.
My sister went to her nephew's Bris. Her husband's brother is Chassidish. She drove into Brooklyn with her two little ones. When she arrived at the shul, she heard the sound of a newborn crying. Followed the sound into a room, where her little nephew was in his car seat with not a single adult in sight. The men were in the Bais Medrash room davening, and her MIL and he SIL's mother were in the hall downstairs, setting up. NO ONE was watching the baby. She said she could've taken him, no one would've known. She stayed there comforting him while watching her own two little ones, till the mohel showed up.
FYI my best friend couldn't be at her son's bris, due to some post-birth complications. I was privileged to go the Bris and be the designated person to stay with him and take care of him, and then take him from the Bris straight to the kimpeturin heim where she was recovering. |
In our case one of the grandmothers is always designated to be in place of the mother.
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amother
Oleander
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Mon, Jul 10 2023, 6:17 am
| amother Mintgreen wrote: | | I am chassidish and go. My mother in law was livid about it. But since many of her kids and grandkids go to their kids brissim. It’s not made for everyone. |
What's it to her if you went? I feel like she was just feeling jealous that you went and she did not go to her son's. MILs need to stop overstepping.
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