Do you think cleaning help is a luxury? Poll

amother

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 10:11 am

S/o of all the other cleaning lady and luxury threads. I really think those who are saying that cleaning help is a luxury, don't understand what it's like to live with mental health and executive function issues. (As an aside I have both and don't have a cleaning lady because it would take up too much of my mental capacity to get one, be on top of my mess enough... please don't judge. But it would make such a huge difference in my life.)

Please answer the poll. I'm curious what the results are.

amother

Red

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 10:13 am

I think having cleaning help for a few hours once a week is not a luxury. But every day or a few times a week is, and I would love that if I could afford it. I work though if that makes a difference.

DustyDiamonds

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 10:14 am

Choice #5:

It depends.

A woman who has many kids, is pregnant, it may be a necessity if she can’t keep the house in order.

A newlywed who never learned to clean, it’s probably a luxury.

Necessities are cultural. They keep changing as times and locations change. They’re not inherent.

amother

Razzmatazz

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 10:16 am

DustyDiamonds wrote:

Very true! I have mental health issues and picked the option that it’s not a necessity but it is a necessity when I’m pregnant or postpartum. The rest of the time I’m fine with cleaning on my own.

amother

Dandelion

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 10:28 am

I mean, it's obviously not a necessity like a food, water, and shelter, but it's not a luxury either. Not everything that isn't strictly necessary is a luxury.

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 10:30 am

I dont think its a luxury, but we dont have any cleaning help right now as we cant afgord it right now.
And its not a luxury as I personally cant do everything myself and my husband has major mental health issues and adhd and finds household chores very hard to do. So we muddle through. And it does take a toll.on our lives and our marriage. But there is nothing else we can do right now.

BH Yom Yom

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 10:33 am

DustyDiamonds wrote:

This. And another vote for “it depends.”

amother

Strawberry

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 10:36 am

I literally went to therapy because I felt inadequate because there are expectations to have your house look like a magazine in our community. I have executive function issues. I can get my house spotless once a week for shabbos. I can sweep and mop when floor feels dirty. Therapist said nothing wrong with me.
FYI recently I have daily cleaning help. It didt make me more productive or anything. Just more lazy. I don’t organize my closets or pack away random things like I used to.

amother

Smokey

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 10:39 am

Listen when we had a spouse out of work we canceled our cleaning help.
It's a necessity for us in general but not up there with food and housing which we need to survive.
We have cleaning help 1x a week. Wish we could afford more.

amother

NeonYellow

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 10:41 am

I voted that it is NOT a luxury. There have been many times where I desperately needed cleaning help when I was ill/pregnant/injured/postpartum/nursing around the clock etc. but didn't have because we can't afford. I really need one right now, we literally have a mouse. I can't clean as much as I would like because I have a baby who needs me to hold her and nurse her constantly. I'm still dealing with the mess from when I was too pregnant to clean. Our apartment is really old and poorly ventilated and has a lot of crumbly floor and wall parts that are hard to get properly clean. I spend every free minute cleaning and it isn't enough, and my apt is super small. A weekly housecleaner would make a huge difference in my life, I dream about it daily. If anyone knows where to find an affordable housecleaner in NYC I would be most grateful.

amother

Slateblue

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 11:19 am

I hate these black and white categories.
How about: cleaning may or may not be a luxury depending on your income and circumstances.

FYI not everything falls neatly into a box of "needs" and "wants". There are a lot of grey areas and things depend on circumstances.

For example: Do I need a 5 bedroom apartment? Not a luxury. Let's read the small print. I have an 18 yr old son with special needs who needs his own room, 2 kids with ADHD and I work from home so I need somewhere to work. Need? no. I could manage by working in the dining room at night when everyone is asleep. I could double up the younger kids. But it's way more than a want!

For example: I haven't had a new sheitel in 14 years. Is it a need? As long as I am working via zoom and the front looks good, it's not a need. But it's way more than a want!

Ema of 5

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 11:36 am

amother OP wrote:

Your poll is missing an option. For ME it is a necessity, but I don’t think it is a necessity for everyone.

amother

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 11:41 am

Ema of 5 wrote:

Your poll is missing an option. For ME it is a necessity, but I don’t think it is a necessity for everyone.

That's what I meant though I don't think others took it that way. I didn't mean that it's an absolute necessity for everyone.

Ema of 5

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 11:47 am

amother OP wrote:

That's what I meant though I don't think others took it that way. I didn't mean that it's an absolute necessity for everyone.

But I can’t vote- my response is yes for me but not for everyone. Unless your poll is just how we define it for ourselves.

amother

IndianRed

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 12:07 pm

It’s clearly a luxury because clearly anyone should be able to pick up and clean up after themselves! Smile

If you teach a child young enough, cleaning will come naturally, practically second nature. Of course, teach them according to their age (rinse dishes with your help, take out the garbage, put toys away at 2-3 years old, add more tasks as they get older) and over time, all family members will participate in cleaning and having a nice calm home. It’s also 4x faster than one lady doing it all, and free!

jjo1339

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 12:09 pm

I grew up and have family that is not frum. Religious or not, in a household where both parents are working full time and there are young kids that cannot significantly help, cleaning help can be so necessary! All the more so, in frum households, we lose one day of cleaning/home maintenance to shabbos and have to have the house extra clean FOR shabbos. Growing up, my family was ordering pizza on Friday night (like many others) and we had 2 weekend days to clean and organize.

amother

Honeysuckle

Fri, Jul 28 2023, 12:16 pm

I think it is a luxury, and I have mental health issues, ADHD (executive functioning deficits), and a chronic physical illness. DH and the older half of the kids have executive functioning issues too.

However, if people feel they need it, then do it. Everyone chooses in life what they feel they need to help them function. I'm sure there are things that I choose to help me function that other people would say are a luxury.

And if you're wondering, my house is an organizational disaster. But it isn't gross, it is just cluttered, and not everything is cleaned every day.