S/O did you grow up with cleaning help, do you have now poll

amother

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 3:16 pm

Considering the recent slew of threads regarding cleaning help and whether it is the norm, a luxury, everyone has, etc., I was curious how many of you grew up with cleaning help (which might make it seem like more of a norm?) and how many have it now. See the poll, comment in the thread, add whatever info you think is relevant.

amother

Dimgray

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 3:19 pm

We sometimes had cleaning help and sometines not.
I knew it was not the norm, that, no, not everyone had cleaning help by a long shot.
Weve had cleaning help here and there over the last 20 years married. But its one of those things when you need to cut back, for us anyway, is the first thing to go.

amother

Oak

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 3:35 pm

I was going to answer similar to PP. We also had off and on as I was growing up. So I can't really answer the poll.

Having it off and on showed me that it's something that is a priority but has to go when the money isn't there. Also, that even when you want it, it's not always so easy to find.

Me personally, I've had on and off too. A lot less than my mother had though (when she had). Currently, I have a babysitter for the afternoon twice a week who also washes the kitchen floor, dishes and folds laundry. (I needed a babysitter because I work outside the city twice a week and the school day is short. The cleaning part is an extra that is a huge help!)

She's leaving me Sept 1st though so I'm back to square one.

amother

Lightcyan

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 9:31 pm

Growing up we had e/o week, but we could be between people foe long stretches. We functioned just fine.

Currently I have cleaning help every 2-3 weeks. I know it is a luxury and that I am very lucky. If needed to, I would cut in an instant.

HonesttoGod

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 9:36 pm

I grew up with cleaning help and I have cleaning help now - as of this week lol. Just finally managed to get one that’s good and reliable.

Before this I didn’t have one for years.

amother

Hydrangea

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 9:44 pm

My mother had a cleaning lady come once a week to do the heavy cleaning. I remember always having to clean up before she came so she wouldn't waste her time on tidying up. We had to make our own beds and do chores anyway, so I don't think having a cleaning lady spoiled us. It just saved my mother some time and energy. I have relatives in another country where cleaning help is cheap and they always had full time help and are definitely spoiled.

I have a cleaning lady who comes one morning a week. I am terrible at most domestic things and she is a big help to us. In the beginning of my marriage when DH and I were on our own for cleaning and we were both incredibly busy, our apartment would get kind of gross before we made the time to deep clean. Once we moved to a house and I was pregnant, things got even worse. We hired a cleaning lady and that made a big difference to us. We deal with wiping down after meals and minor messes or any of the type of incidents that happen with children around, but we appreciate being able to have a cleaning lady come to do the deep cleaning.

amother

Aqua

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 10:16 pm

Grew up with a live in, Dh grew up with 1 live in and one who would come once a week or more if needed… currently no cleaning help even though Dh wishes. Id like one but I dont see the need to pay $125 a day when I can do it even though im not the greatest at it

amother

Orange

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 10:22 pm

I had some cleaning help growing up, and my husband had none.

First the first ten years or so of our marriage we mostly didn't have, and my husband was dead set against it.

I now have ten hours of cleaning help a week and my husband is now more enthusiastic about it than I am (whenever I mention cutting down the hours, he's adamant that I shouldn't do it).

amother

Wandflower

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 10:24 pm

I grew up with cleaning help - the old fashioned style where the woman would come for the whole day - clean the house in the morning and iron in the afternoon.

My mother worked so it would have been difficult for her to do housework all by herself. She still had to do plenty of work to keep the house orderly - do laundry - cook - clean up the kitchen etc. And my father also wasn't idle as he did some household chores like grocery shopping and also handled all of the home maintenance so he wasn't a man of leisure either. Smile

I will say that everything was less expensive in terms of what it cost to raise a family when I was a child and middle class people (which we were) led simpler lives.

I don't fall into any of the categories in the poll because I have cleaning help now and I had cleaning help in the past but there were periods of time when I didn't have cleaning help because I couldn't afford to it. I am very grateful to have cleaning help but to me it is something to be paid for out of discretionary income and is not in the same category as housing, medical care, food or the equivalent.

amother

Clover

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:06 pm

My parents didn't have any till they were older and couldn't manage on their own anymore. I don't have, don't really want, and am dreading the time when it'll become necessary. So far, because we're reasonably healthy empty nesters, the place is cleaner than it was when we had kids at home, but we're not getting younger or more agile and our eyes aren't getting sharper. Just because it looks clean to me doesn't mean it looks clean to a childless 25-year-old.

Goody2shoes

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:12 pm

I grew up with cleaning help 2x a week, which we considered minimal for our double digit family.
Till recently I was able to manage without any help but as of late I have once a week.

amother

Chestnut

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:16 pm

My mother sees cleaning help as a luxury and never had but our house was never clean. It was neat but gross, toys were away nicely and laundry was folded but the bathroom floor was never scrubbed so it smelled and we mopped the kitchen once a year.
I try to have cleaning help for a few hours a week, doesn't always happen but it's a priority to me to live in a clean house and with a full time job and a bunch of young kids, I don't have time to scrub bathrooms and clean baseboards

amother

Sunflower

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:30 pm

I voted other.
Most of my life we actually did not have cleaning up and my siblings and I all had Friday jobs ...some of us vacuumed, some cleaned the bathroom, my father used to mop Etc.
It was a woman my mother was very close to it who always had cleaning up and choose to tell my mother, who worked full time that she should also get and when she passed away when I was about 12 or 13 my mother decided to try to get a cleaning lady for her as most of my siblings got married & it was too much to get it all done.

As for me, I'm married almost 16 years and except for a brief period when I was expecting my fourth I actually did not have cleaning help, until we had an enormous surplus of funds and we built a house that was just too big for me to manage on my own. I considered it a luxury and I would have never spent the few hundred dollars a month that I could have saved when I was physically able to do it on my own and those few hundred dollars made a big difference.

amother

Butterscotch

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:34 pm

Both my husband and I grew up with cleaning help. I cleaned my own house for 18 months during covid while working full time and have newfound respect for how hard it is. I have a team every Friday morning for a few hours. I do my own laundry and daily maintenance. However, if it ever became fiscally irresponsible, I'd drop it.

amother

Pistachio

Sat, Jul 29 2023, 11:35 pm

Yes, had live in help even during the weekends growing up. Didn't have to make my bed, clean anything, not even put my plate in the sink. No one had to cook or clean or tidy up. Fast forward I don't have any cleaning help and it was quite a shock not to have that. But I chose to marry a talmid Chacham with no money but we have plenty of Torah and every day he will tell me a beautiful dvar Torah.