I feel a bit bad to inconvenience people

amother

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 7:59 am

We just joined a playgroup and because of my kid, the camp now has to be peanut free. I know it's standard but it still makes me feel bad tp be putting people out.

amother

Heather

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 8:05 am

Na. Don't be. You are giving everyone an opportunity to practice kindness.
I have children with unusual allergies/sensitivities/intolerances. I wish my kids all would even somewhat accommodate.

amother

Milk

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 8:06 am

Maybe the Morah can forward you all parents’ phone#’s (or you’ll get a list at beginning of the year), and you could text a note to express your appreciation to the other parents for being so accommodating..

ETA: I don’t mean you should feel obligated to do this, just that you might feel better putting it out in the open. And the parent who’s finding it tough since her kid only likes peanut butter, will feel better about it.

amother

Begonia

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 8:09 am

Peanut free doesn’t bother me until they ask us not to send things that say may contain. So many frum products put the disclaimer on it really limits everything.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 8:12 am

Peanut free is pretty standard in many schools now a days. My kids preschool also doesn't allow things that contain traces. Not for any specific child but it's a large enough school that it's the overall policy. It's annoying but at this point in history it's so accepted I wouldn't feel bad as the parent.

amother

Leaf

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 8:17 am

Every place my kids have been to, school and daycamp, are all nut free.

Please don't feel bad.

My kids are Lactose intolerant. Their daycamp includes lunch. They almost never have a parve option. I don't think that's fair. My kidd aren't the only ones in camp that can't eat pizza, which they serve twice a week.

amother

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 8:18 am

amother Heather wrote:

Na. Don't be. You are giving everyone an opportunity to practice kindness.
I have children with unusual allergies/sensitivities/intolerances. I wish my kids all would even somewhat accommodate.

Thank you for this.
He has allergies to other foods, but I only asked them to be peanut free. He is careful not to put stuff in his mouth.
This is my first kid with allergies and it hard to get used to being the one to put others out.

amother

Amaryllis

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 8:18 am

If you were asking for dairy free or egg free it might be a bit unfair, but peanut free is so common I wouldn’t get annoyed. There are plenty of “school safe” alternatives.

amother

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 8:21 am

amother Amaryllis wrote:

If you were asking for dairy free or egg free it might be a bit unfair, but peanut free is so common I wouldn’t get annoyed. There are plenty of “school safe” alternatives.

he is allergic to dairy and eggs too Can't Believe It

amd other things. .
But my house is not dairy or egg free and he knows not to eat those foods.

amother

Amaryllis

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 9:33 am

amother OP wrote:

he is allergic to dairy and eggs too Can't Believe It

amd other things. .
But my house is not dairy or egg free and he knows not to eat those foods.

I have one of those super allergic kids. As long as he knows not to eat them you’re lucky. I wish I could request no scrambled/hard boiled eggs because that’s what she’s anaphylactic to, but I feel bad imposing like that because I know that’s what my older kid lived on at this age. Funny thing is the one thing she’s not allergic to is almonds, but school is nut free by default so I can’t send almond flour based products

amother

Bone

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 10:24 am

Is your child anaphylactic to being near peanuts?
If so then you are completely justified in asking for them to be peanut free.

If he can be near peanuts but just can’t eat it then being peanut free is not needed.

I’ll tell you honestly it bothers me when a school will go peanut free but not egg free, when the sensitivity of the kids allergies are identical.

Again if he can’t be near peanuts at all then you’re 100% justified.

amother

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 10:35 am

amother Bone wrote:

I don't know if he is anaphylactic to being near peanuts. His allergist doesn't believe that food allergens are airborne at all, aside from cooking fish. But I know many people disagree with that. There are a lot of differing opinions on the subject of allergies which makes it all so confusing.

Meanwhile, we have all the foods in the house, aside from Peanuts. He knows not to eat them.
But I still worry about sending him to school and eventually camp. I don't know how people do it.

amother

Calendula

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 10:35 am

amother OP wrote:

It sounds like you did a good job of teaching him to be responsible, good for you!

amother

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 10:36 am

NotInNJMommy wrote:

It's pretty standard to have peanut/tree nut free, including "may contain" on products at playgroup. Really, it's not an issue for anyone reasonable.

Well guess what? I arrived at the playgroup today and I immediately saw a bag of Bamba in someone's lunch.
People who don't have kids with allergies don't always think about it.

amother

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 10:40 am

amother Calendula wrote:

It sounds like you did a good job of teaching him to be responsible, good for you!

I think he just picked up on it. I check all the ingredients of any snack or whatever that he wants to eat. So he sees that.

Last week I mistakenly gave him my other son's lunch bag. He saw through the bag that it had a milchig snack and he immediately started pointing to the offending item, and screaming "allergic allergic!!" Very Happy

Good thing he is so vigilant!

amother

SandyBrown

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 10:58 am

As a mother with a non allergic kid...
It's tough when new rules are put in place. Especially for my kids who are sensory or have extreme pickiness. And no, one of these kids will not just "learn" to eat that food. This kid flips out - I think it really is a sensory issue.

However, with my more neuro typical kid he was upset to not be able to take his favorite food category (eg: "tree nut") but we phrased it as he had the huge opportunity to do a mitzvah every day at school for not bringing it for lunch. That worked for him plus offering it to him to eat it on Sundays/vacation. But that mom was very careful to only have the airborne anaphylaxis ingredients "banned". Not the wheat or other allergens banned. He was taught to not touch/eat other people's foods.
There has to be a balance. Safety but also teach your kid to not eat other people's food. And yes, little kids can learn.

amother

Foxglove

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 11:06 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm wondering why you're differentiating peanuts from the other allergies if they are equally severe? And if his allergist doesn't think you need to worry about airborne for any of them?

If a child is allergic to a food even when airborne, of course the school/camp needs to accommodate and there's no reason to feel guilty. But if they just can't eat it, seems uncalled for to ask the whole group to go peanut free. Do you take him other places where people around him might be eating peanuts?

zaq

Mon, Jul 31 2023, 11:07 am

On the contrary, peanut-free is now a pretty standard thing in schools and camps, and the playgroup should have had such a policy in place lechatchila. All you've done is get them to comply before they could get into some serious trouble.