Looking for tips for teaching a selective mute student

amother

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 7:25 pm

So I was just given over a class list for my students (Primary /5 yr old boys) for this coming yr. I was told one of the students doesn't talk to the other children (unless promoted to say something very spefic) , just the teachers. He just watches everyone else play.... (He will have a rebbi in the morning, so I will only be having him part of the day if that makes a difference..)

I spoke to the mother who is planning to try to get him counseling/play therapy (but that may take a bit of time to set up.... )

I would love to start off the yr right and make it a successful one for him. I have never worked with such a student and am looking for some tips ... any tips on how to run the classroom to make him more comfortable? Should I just be asking him "yes" and "no" question so he can shake his head? Will it discourage him from eventually trying to talk (since this is easier)?
If he technically "can" talk to the other students when prompted to (told spefic words) should I have him do that? Or is that going to get him nervous and it's better to wait till he can do that naturally?
Should I be encouraging one specific friendship (to help him get comfortable) like put them together for projects, ask the mother to arrange playdates with that child and etc....

I'm open to all tips and resources.....

amother

Honeysuckle

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 7:31 pm

Tip number 1. No pressure to talk. Ignore the fact that he isn't talking
Tip number 2. He may be okay to sing, talk into a mike, mime. Find out what he likes and provide it casually without pressure to use it.
Tip number 3. If he can talk when prompted with words, that sounds more like a communication issue than selective mutism? Can you encourage a full evaluation?

amother

Wine

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 7:33 pm

Step 1-put no pressure on him to talk. Selective mutism is anxiety based and the last thing you want to do is increase the anxiety and pressure.
So yeah finding ways to reduce his need to talk at the beginning is probably best. It's not about what is easier and that he won't talk eventually, as it's about reducing anxiety to the point he will be comfortable to talk.
Setting him up with a buddy is a good idea. Find a sensitive boy who will be good for him.
And if he does say something, whether it's to you or another child, don't make a big deal of it. Just treat it as if it was normal for him to say that.
Btw selective mutism is usually overseen by speech therapists, which may be quicker than trying for counselling. Has he actually got a diagnosis or is it assumed that this is what his issue is?

amother

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 7:40 pm

Thanks. To clarity, he doesn't have a spefic diagnosis, but his teacher last yr plus the daycare director both thought he has it....I was told he will just stand and watch everyone play unless the teachers talks to him or hands him something to do. He will never answer a question if another child comes over to him and asks something. I will definitely encourage the mother to get a complete evaluation.

naomi2

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 8:09 pm

Watch out for him to make sure he's not taken advantage of because he won't defend himself.
Make sure he has what he needs because he won't ask even if it's something he really needs like a plate by lunch or a bathroom break.
If other kids say anything about him not being able to talk you can say "I know that x knows how to talk, and he will talk when he is ready."
I think it would be good to make a point to include him and speak directly to him. When a child is quiet and doesn't bother anyone or join in it's easy to ignore them and forget that they need love and attention.
For all these things take his non verbal cues as well.

farmom

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 9:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

This doesn't sound like selective mutism. Selectively mute children interact and play, just don't talk. Definitely a proper evaluation is in order

amother

Diamond

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 9:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

This can be a processing delay so definitely tell her to do evaluation.

613mitzvahgirl

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 11:22 pm

I taught a kid that had this in preschool..we just constantly told kids to include the child.. we praised the child when we saw that she was doing something amazing.. we asked her to be our helper.. she started feeling really confident and started going over to the kids.. she still wasn’t saying anything.. then one day during free play I sat down with her and started drawing.. I asked her should I draw you a picture.. she was beaming.. I then I asked her how about you draw me a picture.. she went over to the box of crayons and took a paper.. she went to my desk and sat there..she sat there looking around the room.. I let her be.. then she handed me the picture and my heart broke.. she drew a picture of a girl crying.. I asked her who is so sad.. she looked down and patted her jumper.. I then asked her her who made you so upset, was it something at school.. she then drew a picture of a boy hitting her.. I showed it to my coworkers and they told me don’t worry we will show it to her mother.. I felt so sorry for this poor girl who was crying in pain.. the next day the girl didn’t come back and until this day I don’t know what happened to her.. I still wonder who that picture was about.. I don’t know.. if she’s out there reading this remember shayfela it’s okay..

amother

Papayawhip

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 11:50 pm

this is a loaded topic and best for a therapist who specializes in selective mutism.

I once worked in a preschool where I had a student with SM. the parents hired a therpist who specilized in SM. I can not tell you the transformation I saw after the therapist did her work. the therapist came into school and ever so slowly exposed this child to the teachers. once the student was comfortable with us teachers (this took several sessions), then the therapist moved into our classroom. I had the whole class outside playing, and the therapist called in a few girls at a time. and slowly the student with SM started speaking in front of them. and when that went well, another few girls came in.. and then a few more.. and all of a student the entire class was in the room and this precious student was talking in front of them all. it was magical to witness.

I worked extremely hard the entire year, being guided by this therapist, on how to interact with this child. I gave her SO much special attention. I know the other morah did as well.

myself and the other teacher met with this child before school even started, so the child could be exposed to us and slowly get to know us, before being thrown into a whole day with the whole new class which is overwhelming under normal circumstances.

there is so much im not saying.. its beyond what I can post. I learned so much from being a teacher to a student with this struggle. I HIGHLY suggest a therapist who specializes in SM and to start the child ASAP.. even before school starts. it was a huge zechus to be part of this childs journey.

amother

Papayawhip

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 11:53 pm

as im reading some of these posts im literally cringing. I know people mean well.. but there is a real method to how deal with a student like this. PLEASE do not take this lightly. you can literally help build of a child like you've never imagined!

YES, children with SM neeeeed special direct attention! they can't be ignored!! there is a method on how to interact and how to give that special attention. believe in the process. and get professional help. you will literally be saving a child

amother

Hosta

Tue, Aug 01 2023, 11:56 pm

My daughter was selective mute until Purim. That’s many many months. To the point where she wouldn’t even nod her head to a teacher or classmate. Was so extreme.

I was hysterical about it and turning over the world. The teacher told me to step back and stop obsessing. It was too difficult for me but I relented and forced myself to stop thinking about it all together.

She started talking the next week and has had no issues since.

I don’t know how it worked but it did.

amother

Wine

Wed, Aug 02 2023, 3:43 am

amother Papayawhip wrote:

I'm not sure what you're cringing about. As someone with a selective mute child, as well as having taught children with selective mutism, this rings true for strategies to use.
Should they have professional help, sure they should be. Although ime, the therapist didn't actually offer much useful support. She ran through the standard strategies and then left it for the school to deal with my child. And the strategies were all that is mentioned about.