Sharing rooms? | Imamother

amother

Mayflower

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 4:49 pm

I find it difficult when they're newborn. I keep my babies in my room for the first six months or so. At that point they're usually on a more consistent schedule and better at sleeping through sounds so they're better roommates. Sometimes I used a sound machine but not always, depended on the child.

zaq

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 4:59 pm

How does it work? It works. You don't ask questions, you don't give the kids a choice, you tell them matter-of-factly that this is the way it's going to be. I advise doubling them up well before the arrival of the new kid on the block.

Kids who are presented with realities in a matter-of-fact way deal with them far better than those whose parents show ambivalence or fear about life changes. There is always a period of adjustment to a new order, but life is all about adapting to change. You do want you kids to be able to share a room with the person they marry, right?

Last edited by zaq on Thu, Aug 03 2023, 5:09 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

DarkPurple

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 5:02 pm

My older kids share a room, my babies sleep in their own room till age 3-4. A newborn can't share a room. And it's hard for anyone to share a room with a baby.
I'd advise you to have older kids share and baby their own room.

BrisketBoss

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 5:05 pm

My two oldest have shared a room since they were about 9 months and 28 months old. They love it. Now there's a newborn in my room so nothing about bedtime really changes for them except that I can be busy with the newborn. I don't put a new baby sleeping in their own room for at least a few months.

The one thing is they may stay up late talking. So you may want to stagger bedtimes. Or not. Find out what works for your family.

BrisketBoss

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 5:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ah. Am I stuck then? Ds 10 won’t share. He’s stubborn and particular about his stuff. Ds 6 and dd 3 would gladly share but boy and girl cant share. I thought the newborn would share with dd3

Sure, you can try it if you trust DD3. I share with the newborn because I want the newborn with Mommy. If I were sending her out anyway, I might put her in the same room with another kid. A newborn should not share a sleeping surface with another child, of course.

amother

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 5:14 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

Newborn would sleep with me first 6 weeks. Then in crib and dd in her own bed

zaq

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 5:23 pm

amother DarkPurple wrote:

A newborn can't share a room. .

No, what you mean is you won't let a newborn share a room because that's what you're used to and have the means to provide. Most people keep a newborn, I.e. younger than two months old, in the parents' room to facilitate nighttime feedings and care. Past 2-3 months they're no longer a newborn and they certainly can share a room. And not everyone has the space to give children their own room. Not to mention that twins who share a womb usually also share a room and do just fine. The infant is not the one who has to adjust--the older child may have to. But as I posted previously, having to adjust to a roommate in childhood is no bad thing.

amother

DarkYellow

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 5:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ah. Am I stuck then? Ds 10 won’t share. He’s stubborn and particular about his stuff. Ds 6 and dd 3 would gladly share but boy and girl cant share. I thought the newborn would share with dd3

Who's the boss here? If ds 10 is particular about his stuff and fears that ds 6 will damage it, he can have the honor of sharing with the newcomer. Pretty safe to say the infant won't get into his stuff for quite some time yet. Seriously, what do you mean ds 10 won't share? I collect that you have 4 bedrooms, one for you and dh and one for each child so far. What happens if you have two more after the one currently expected? You'll cram three kids into one room so your Prince Bechor can have his own room, simply because he demands it? What kind of chinuch is that?

If for whatever reason you feel ds 10 must have his own room, give him the smallest one, even if it means moving him out of the room he's currently in. Everyone else has to sacrifice, so should he.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 5:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ah. Am I stuck then? Ds 10 won’t share. He’s stubborn and particular about his stuff. Ds 6 and dd 3 would gladly share but boy and girl cant share. I thought the newborn would share with dd3

First of all, of course they can if there is no other way. And second, at those ages, I dont see what the problem is. I think its completely fine. I know many who had boys and girls sharing rooms as that was the only viable solution. Its not a big deal.

amother

Brickred

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 5:44 pm

I would have 6&3 share- at that age opposite genders can share for a year or two till baby's sleeping more reliably and then swap to put baby with older sibling that makes the most sense.
(Or tell 10 to suck it up and share)

amother

DarkPurple

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 7:33 pm

zaq wrote:

Oh wow, you've got a whole lot of assumptions here!
I meant that babies can't share a room because they wake at night & I don't want them to wake other kids.
And kids that share a room generally need to be in the same schedule/age range. Otherwise it's difficult around bedtime.

amother

DarkPurple

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 7:33 pm

amother Brickred wrote:

This. 6 & 3 of opposite genders, are stilk young enough to share a room for a couple of years.

amother

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 8:17 pm

amother DarkPurple wrote:

This. 6 & 3 of opposite genders, are stilk young enough to share a room for a couple of years.

No. My six year old boy is always commenting about dd’s underwear etc
He very into body parts, his and everyone else’s

amother

Thu, Aug 03 2023, 8:20 pm

amother DarkYellow wrote:

All rooms are the same size. He’s a hoarder and his room makes me anxious. I don’t want to be in there more than I have to, definitely not to nurse a baby in middle of the night. I’m not talking about cramming three kids into one room, I’m talking about 2 kids in a room. My ds 6 is very generous and loves sharing and also loves company. Dd 3 is the same way. My bechor has other strengths. Sharing with his siblings is not one of them. He has 1000 lego sets he worked hard to build and doesn’t want them ruined etc