Is there any halachic backing to not covering hair?

amother

Thu, Aug 10 2023, 10:21 pm

I don’t want to cover my hair.
Tichels are uncomfortable and make me feel so weird in them.
Sheitels are in my opinion the most idiotic religious invention ever. Go figure covering hair with hair.

Most of my family don’t cover their hair, some of them are fully orthodox though.
I don’t cover most of the time but I still cover “officially” when I’m out and about in frum places.
It makes me feel like an two faced liar.
I want to stop with the covering. I only need reasons to believe it’s ok.

amf

Thu, Aug 10 2023, 10:24 pm

How does covering hair with hair make any more sense than waving a citron and a palm branch for 7 days?
Halacha isn't about what makes sense to us, it's about doing what we're told to do. and in this case, we're told that covering hair with hair is fine. If you want to delve into why it's fine, there are plenty of sources. But just at face value, we do what we do because that's the halacha, not because it make sense to our limited human brains.

Thisisnotmyreal

Thu, Aug 10 2023, 10:26 pm

Can you speak with a Rav? As much as your asking us to help you find ways to feel good about uncovering, you really know that you're begging us to tell why to cover.

Cheiny

Thu, Aug 10 2023, 10:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

You shouldn’t ask frum women here to convince you it’s ok.

Your level of frumkeit is between you and Hashem and no one should be convincing you not to cover.
Why aren’t you asking your family members who don’t cover about this?

amother

Thu, Aug 10 2023, 10:52 pm

Cheiny wrote:

Because they don’t really know. They don’t cover because my family mostly didn’t cover for generations.

I’m asking here because this is a frum site and hopefully some frum MO women can tell me why it’s ok.

On the flip side, yes I very much want to understand why it’s so important to cover our hair. If it’s simply because hair must be covered and not for tznius reasons, then why is it ok to uncover around your own husband and family and women?
If it is for tznius reasons, why the heck is someone else’s more attractive hair more tznius than my own natural simple boring frizzy hair?

gottago

Thu, Aug 10 2023, 10:58 pm

The is no halachic opinion that a married woman does not have to cover her hair. There is discussion whether it's d'oraisa or d'rabbanan. And there's discussion about whether double women should cover. But as far as I know, there's no discussion or equivocation about married women covering their hair.

Flip Flops

Thu, Aug 10 2023, 10:58 pm

OP, you will not find a good answer to your question of "why cover our hair", because you are not looking for an answer, you are looking for a excuse to uncover. If covering hair doesn't make sense then maybe it can't be so bad to skip.

If you really do want an answer, the answer is that we cover our hair because Hashem said to do so.

Please don't read this post in a harsh tone - I'm just stating the facts. Hashem should help you continue to serve him and be the most amazing person you can.

amother

Mulberry

Thu, Aug 10 2023, 10:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s funny to me that you’re calling your hair simple, boring and frizzy, yet don’t want to cover it. Covering is a plus for my frizzy, hard to manage hair.

juggling

Fri, Aug 11 2023, 12:11 am

Do you want to learn about hair covering from a MO source? Deracheha.org is a website that goes through halachik issues in detail. They have a great discussion on hair covering. Maybe listening will give you some new insights or perspectives as to why or how you can cover in a way that makes you feel good.

naturalmom5

Fri, Aug 11 2023, 12:24 am

amother OP wrote:

I heard a whole shiur on this
If its for tznius , then why dont single girls cover. The shok of all girls is erva, yet hair is also erva but not single girls
Are there 2 ervas. Why doesnt the Rambam mention hair when he talks about kol and shok
Why is tefach mutar by hair but not all other parts of body

amother

Tangerine

Fri, Aug 11 2023, 3:36 am

amother Mulberry wrote:

It’s funny to me that you’re calling your hair simple, boring and frizzy, yet don’t want to cover it. Covering is a plus for my frizzy, hard to manage hair.

Some people are okay with having frizzy hard to manage hair.

Chickensoupprof

Fri, Aug 11 2023, 4:43 am

Lots of yekkishe women I know don't cover their hair so in Amsterdam you see in some shuls (not the ones I go to but there are few) where women come in a hat. They wear a hat during davening an kiddush and then they put the hat off. Also a few young women do that. During the week they wear trousers and tops.

amother

Vermilion

Fri, Aug 11 2023, 5:07 am

amother Tangerine wrote:

Some people are okay with having frizzy hard to manage hair.

The hair is in better condition the less you cover it. During lockdown when I didn’t cover (I don’t at home), my hair thrived without being covered every day.

OP, like others said, you covering your hair is personal between you and Hashem. You will not get halachic justification for not covering though, not sure why you think you would.

amother

Phlox

Fri, Aug 11 2023, 5:15 am

Im sorry youre struggling with this.
Especially if your relatives dont cover its definitely harder.
A lot of women struggle with this .
They soldier on but its still hard
I guess its harder if youre not brought up with it so its not a given.
Same with shabbos, kosher etc.

I dont think this is the right place to ask here why not to cover.
Maybe Asking women who specifically do not cover their hair will get you the answers you want to hear.

Also speaking to a rov is a no brainer.
And I dont mean a regular posek.
I mean someone whose wife maybe does not cover their hair or only partially.

amother

Vermilion

Fri, Aug 11 2023, 5:21 am

amother Phlox wrote:

Im sorry youre struggling with this.
Especially if your relatives dont cover its definitely harder.
A lot of women struggle with this .
They soldier on but its still hard
I guess its harder if youre not brought up with it so its not a given.
Same with shabbos, kosher etc.

I dont think this is the right place to ask here why not to cover.
Maybe Asking women who specifically do NOT cover their hair will get you the answers you want to hear.

Also speaking to a rov is a no brainer.
And I dont mean a regular posek.
I mean someone whose wife maybe does not cover their hair or only partially.

With the bolded, the MO people I know who don’t cover their hair just don’t. But they don’t try to halachically justify it. If I don’t cover in public, that would be my choice, but I wouldn’t delude myself that it was halachically ok.

BadTichelDay

Fri, Aug 11 2023, 6:02 am

The book "Hide And Seek" by Lynne Schreiber explores halachot and customs of hair covering, including lenient positions, if I remember rightly, it's a while since I l've read it.
I think it mentions a North African Sefardic Rav of the 19th century who permitted being without hair covering. But even so, that is a minority-of-one opinion. Halacha generally goes by the majority.
Virtually all contemporary orthodox rabbanim pasken that hair covering is a must. There are different opinions as to how much and with what, but there is no halachic way around it (unless there are medical issues which require asking shaylot in any event).

Of course, people don't always ask and may just do as they see fit, or as their family has "always" done. But that's probably most of the time without backing by any rav.

amother

Fri, Aug 11 2023, 8:19 am

amother Tangerine wrote:

Some people are okay with having frizzy hard to manage hair.

Was going to say this. I don’t care how much I look as much as how I feel. Covering hair is difficult. For me more difficult than wearing a frizzy messy bun.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I thought there is some sort of halachic excuse not to cover. Or at least there’s a debate wether covering is really important or not. This is just so hard for me.