Ever travel for work alone?

amother

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 2:14 pm

I plan to travel for work for a few days. DH wants to come with me. But I will be busy all day and will be tired at night. Also, I really don't like mixing work and personal life. Have you ever done this? I can use a bit of advice

DrMom

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 2:20 pm

If I am traveling for work, I prefer to travel alone. Sometimes I need to prepare in the evening for the next day, or sometimes I need to go out to eat dinner with people I met at a conference, etc.

amother

Lily

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 2:28 pm

I’ve done it and really didn’t enjoy it. DH would have happily joined me but it was easier for me that he stay home and watch the kids than arrange childcare.
On the flip side, when I joined DH for his work I understood that he was working and spent a lot of my time on my own.

amother

Ginger

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 2:37 pm

I travel for work several times a year.

My husband never comes with me.

If it is to a conference, I am usually at events well into the evening.

If it's to an office, I'm usually prepping at night, but also those aren't in "fun" places.

All we gain is the price of my ticket, and I dont usually get cheap tickets. I get asked on the times I need. The hotel is only paid for the nights I'm working. I'll need to pay for any extentions. What's the point?

I'll need to rely on favors to watch my kids and I'd rather use that up when dh and I can really spend time with eachother.

amother

Dandelion

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 2:39 pm

I did it alone because I have little kids. If my kids were older I’d have loved to have dh with me but I’d be clear about my expectations/availability.

amother

Tanzanite

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 3:01 pm

I travel for work a lot. I love DH and his company but we have an understanding at this point that work is work and I literally need to crash at the end of a long day away. Even a phone call home can be tough, he’ll sometimes text me a quick good night and dw we’ll catch up wen you’re home-bc he gets it.
Expectations would need to be very clear if he came along..it honestly sounds like you’re not up for it and nervous about managing the work/life.

amother

Pearl

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 3:47 pm

Unless your dh has something specific to do where you're going, I don't recommend it. I only brought dh with me once, because:
We were not long married,
I was an inexperienced driver and the place was considerably farther than I was used to driving,
The town, a formerly bustling place that up and died when the railroads went out of fashion, was now a place where kids can't wait to finish HS so they can get the heck out, and I was uneasy about being by myself in such a ghost town, and
DH was between jobs.

We thought it would be like a micro-vacay and had the absurd idea that there might be some sightseeing or something else to do in the evening. The roller skating rink was out of business, the movie theater was open only on weekends, and even the ice cream parlor, which was unlikely to be kosher anyway, was closed. IDK what dh did the next day while I was working. Maybe hung out at the motel's deserted pool. This was before cell phones and way before remote work, so aside from watching TV or reading a book, there was really nothing for dh to do during the day. We were there just the one night and I did appreciate his being there for me. After that, I traveled alone.

If it had been today and we had been going to a place of "civilization," dh could have done his own remote work or taken himself sightseeing if he had wanted to rent a car. I needed the car to get to the jobsite so dh couldn't go anywhere--not that there was anywhere to go.

It really depends on where you go. If you're going to New York City or Israel or any other place where there are sights to see, places to go, and kosher places to eat, sure, why not, work by day and have fun at night. Otherwise? Naaaa. Go alone and use the evening to do self-care stuff you wouldn't want your dh to see, like put green glop on your face, brown mud on the rest of your body, color your hair, and so on. Binge-watch things you don't want dh to know you enjoy, stuff your face with goodies you don't have to share...or go to sleep early for a change and enjoy a long night of uninterrupted slumber.

amother

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 6:16 pm

Thanks so much for the variety of responses. Very helpful!

amother

Cinnamon

Thu, Aug 17 2023, 6:58 pm

Dh wanted to come with me but I wanted to go alone. I need to be in boss mode when I’m traveling for work and that doesn’t work well when he’s around. I also love my nights to myself. It’s a mini vacation. Uber eats if kosher food and sit on the bed and watch nonsense or read a book. All kids homework and dinner ect is on Dh and they appreciate me more when I come home.