I am the worst gift giver

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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amother

Tue, Aug 29 2023, 6:18 am

Help! It is DD’s 20th B-Day.

Gifts are not my love language. I buy and give things all the time, as needed/on sale. “I spoil her too much” as I get her what she wants as she wants but is appropriate. (Ie. She just mover to an apartment with roommates 3 weeks ago and I bought her the bedding/throw pillows she wanted/I felt were reasonable).
She doesn’t have any interest in makeup, hair, nails, smelly things (perfume/lotion/candles) does not like/want jewelry, purse, luggage, declined a watch, cannot use a coat (but would consider it a necessity, not a gift as she is not into brands).
Her friends are hopefully making her a party and if I orchestrate is just pathetic.

Help me come up with an idea make her feel like I did something special for her b-day and it is not just another day.

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Aug 29 2023, 6:21 am

Take her out for lunch/dinner at an upscale place. Treat both of you to a manicure.

amother

Blueberry

Tue, Aug 29 2023, 6:21 am

Gift card for a massage

amother

Lightcyan

Tue, Aug 29 2023, 6:21 am

Give her an experience. Flying lessons? Helicopter ride with you?

amother

Tue, Aug 29 2023, 7:45 am

Thank you to those who responded.
She is out of state (or maybe I am). She is like my DH and doesn’t like touch.
And this is just me being the killjoy I am, why would anyone want tii on go in a helicopter? As emergency transport to be flown to a hospital, B”H they exist, but I just don’t get it.

Any other ideas for the worlds least fun or creative person (me, not my DD-she is awesome)

amf

Tue, Aug 29 2023, 8:11 am

Another vote for an experience
Do something together with her that will create that special, mommy and me experience, doing something you both enjoy. Whether that's pottery painting, renting an exotic car, horseback riding, hiking...give her your time and do something fun!
Oh and top it off with a nice dinner

amother

Buttercup

Tue, Aug 29 2023, 8:17 am

There are many personalized gifts you could get her like a blown up picture of you two and frame it or on a mug, pillow, blanket...

amother

Smokey

Tue, Aug 29 2023, 8:18 am

Ask a mother of her friend or your friend or one of dd’s friends for idea of what is in and what dd wants

amother

Tue, Aug 29 2023, 10:28 am

We are in different states, so an experience together is hard. Also, she feels too much love from me. She is a Ben zekanim of a very very small family with a SAH sMother. I like to tell her she could have it worse, Beverly Goldberg could be her mom, to which she replies that it’s cute that I think that would be worse. This is all teasing and said in good humor. That might be why she is in a different state. I can assure you she feels no shortage of love and attention. (She might feel a lack of independence, trust to be an adult and to navigate herself and make her own mistakes, but my attention she is not lacking).

I am the world greatness nay-sayer!!!

Ladies I really thank you for all your responses even if I am shutting them down.

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