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Would you buy a house you can barely afford?
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Would you buy a house if you will be broke?
Yes  
 33%  [ 67 ]
No  
 66%  [ 131 ]
Total Votes : 198



amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:15 am
We live in a Brooklyn apartment, very squishy, only 1 toilet, etc. DH insists everyone he knows, even those making a lot less then us (we make 226k pretax) are buying houses, ie his rebbi and kollel friends, not just those with rich family. He wants to buy a house for 1.1 even with these interest rates and just figure it out.

We have the down payment.

That comes out to 6,500 a month. With utilities that is 90k a year just for a house.

The rest of our budget:
28k in cc bills (food, clothes, gas, etc)
4k cash expense (flowers, tips, gifts, also includes buying jewish items like hats)
2.5k Car insurance
4.5k cleaning help which honestly would probably need to go up
1k kids savings
5k summer expenses like day camp or a vacation
1k therapy or tutoring
3.5k savings towards home expenses like broken furniture/appliances/plumbing
2.5k towards medical emergency bills like root canals and stitches which unfortunately do happen around here, and other unplanned expenses
20k tuition
15k maaser

After taxes, that leaves us a few negative
Without allowing for actual day camp, making yom tov, having children (we've got 4), or anything we don't do like buy clothes in Jewish stores, buy school supplies, get takeout, HAVE A BABYSITTER I work from home without one.

DH claims if we run low on funds he will demand a raise or look for a new job.

Would you do it?

Note, we have almost done similar and always after something something happened where I said well it's good thing we don't have the house yet or we wouldn't be able to afford to do XYZ and we just did.
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amother
Aster


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:18 am
The everyone he's comparing himself to don't pay for therapy, summer camp, medical expenses and tuition. Or they have a hidden source of income and they portray themselves as a poor kollel person.
I know a few of them, some own a few businesses, some real estate.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:19 am
Do you believe you’d be approved for a mortgage to buy a house that expensive?

Do you have a downpayment?

Are you prepared to majorly alter your lifestyle to make the payments work?
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amother
DarkKhaki


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:22 am
Yes because housing is going up not down. You may be house poor for a while
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amother
Thistle


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:22 am
No way. Dh has a friend who did it and every time his friend’s house needs repairs dh does it for him because he can’t afford to hire workers.
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amother
PlumPink


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:23 am
Nope. Never ever
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:23 am
watergirl wrote:
Do you believe you’d be approved for a mortgage to buy a house that expensive?

Do you have a downpayment?

Are you prepared to majorly alter your lifestyle to make the payments work?


We were approved for 1.2 a few months ago. Rates have gone up but we probably would be still.

Yes we have the down payment.

There's nothing we can trim. I'm super careful with groceries, we don't do day camp, my kids and I wear hand me downs, etc. I can't fire cleaning lady without quitting my job.
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justforfun87




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:24 am
nooo....
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amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:25 am
Yes we plan to
you can refinance In a few years
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amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:26 am
amother Aster wrote:
The everyone he's comparing himself to don't pay for therapy, summer camp, medical expenses and tuition. Or they have a hidden source of income and they portray themselves as a poor kollel person.
I know a few of them, some own a few businesses, some real estate.

Not the everyone I know.. they have no hidden income and are in kollel
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amother
Ultramarine


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:26 am
Yes I did that, paid a few hundred thousand only and now 25 years later my house is worth a few million dollars.
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amother
Azalea


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:27 am
It seems like now isn’t the right time. Maybe look for a bigger apartment to rent or a cheaper apartment to buy. The banks are extremely quick to approve people for large loans. I was always shocked by what they claimed we could afford. I’m like so I’ll have a big, expensive house but no clothes, food, etc. It’s very hard especially when those around you are doing it. My husband and I always wonder how others do it when we know they make less than us but we just smile and nod because it’s not our problem.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:33 am
amother OP wrote:
We were approved for 1.2 a few months ago. Rates have gone up but we probably would be still.

Yes we have the down payment.

There's nothing we can trim. I'm super careful with groceries, we don't do day camp, my kids and I wear hand me downs, etc. I can't fire cleaning lady without quitting my job.


I'm a bit confused, because you also said:
amother OP wrote:

After taxes, that leaves us a few negative
Without allowing for actual day camp, making yom tov, having children (we've got 4), or anything we don't do like buy clothes in Jewish stores, buy school supplies, get takeout, HAVE A BABYSITTER I work from home without one.


If I am understanding this correctly, you listed your budget which BH includes 15k to maaser and a good amount of money to savings every month, yet you can not make YT, pay for school supplies (for 4 kids, that should not be more than $200, so I'm confused about that), etc. You said you are in negative before you can do the things above. What happens if you have a fifth child and you need to pay tuition?

It does not seem that you can afford this house without changing something, considering you can't make it through the month as it is without going into negative.
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amother
DarkRed


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:34 am
No way. I know way too many people that bought houses they couldn't afford & they literally cannot afford a pair of socks for their kids. This is not a way to live.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:41 am
Will your tuition go up?
How easy is it to find a better paying job or will his boss really just give him a sufficient raise?

I am cautious by nature and it sounds crazy to me. Are there cheaper houses? I know nothing about Brooklyn.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:41 am
watergirl wrote:
If I am understanding this correctly, you listed your budget which BH includes 15k to maaser and a good amount of money to savings every month, yet you can not make YT, pay for school supplies (for 4 kids, that should not be more than $200, so I'm confused about that), etc. You said you are in negative before you can do the things above. What happens if you have a fifth child and you need to pay tuition?

It does not seem that you can afford this house without changing something, considering you can't make it through the month as it is without going into negative.


I'm including things that based on my life here I know we will have. We have had our landlord pay for exterminators, had fridge issues, water damage in bathroom etc. So including that in budget.

Not including things we aren't paying for now. So far our school expenses have been uniforms for 1 child and a tehillim, obv thats going to go up a lot as we have 3 preschool aged children.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:42 am
amother OP wrote:
We live in a Brooklyn apartment, very squishy, only 1 toilet, etc. DH insists everyone he knows, even those making a lot less then us (we make 226k pretax) are buying houses, ie his rebbi and kollel friends, not just those with rich family. He wants to buy a house for 1.1 even with these interest rates and just figure it out.

We have the down payment.

That comes out to 6,500 a month. With utilities that is90k a year just for a house.

The rest of our budget:
28k in cc bills (food, clothes, gas, etc)
4k cash expense (flowers, tips, gifts, also includes buying jewish items like hats)
2.5k Car insurance
4.5k cleaning help which honestly would probably need to go up
1k kids savings
5k summer expenses like day camp or a vacation
1k therapy or tutoring
3.5k savings towards home expenses like broken furniture/appliances/plumbing
2.5k towards medical emergency bills like root canals and stitches which unfortunately do happen around here
20k tuition
15k maaser

After taxes, that leaves us a few negative
Without allowing for actual day camp, making yom tov, having children (we've got 4), or anything we don't do like buy clothes in Jewish stores, buy school supplies, get takeout, HAVE A BABYSITTER I work from home without one.

DH claims if we run low on funds he will demand a raise or look for a new job.

Would you do it?

Note, we have almost done similar and always after something something happened where I said well it's good thing we don't have the house yet or we wouldn't be able to afford to do XYZ and we just did.
This sentence stood out to me. This sounds extremely irresponsible. I mean, sure one can ASK for a raise, but that doesnt mean they will always get it. And to look for a new job, well, sure, but that could also take months or not find one at all. Its not a sure thing.
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chestnut




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:43 am
Will you be able to live with such stress?
Why doesn't your husband ask for a raise or finds a better paying job before buying the house, not after?
What if you still need to fix things up before moving in?
Practically speaking, do you have money to pay mortgage the first month? Second?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:45 am
amother Ginger wrote:
Will your tuition go up?
How easy is it to find a better paying job or will his boss really just give him a sufficient raise?

I am cautious by nature and it sounds crazy to me. Are there cheaper houses? I know nothing about Brooklyn.


My husband has managed to negotiate really low tuition rates in anticipation of buying a house. He has refused to let them raise us and they are still enrolled... Re job I don't know but he thinks he is worth more and with his dedication to his job I tend to agree. Wether or not that actually pans out, who can say?

Are there cheaper houses? Yes in worse neighborhoods, condition, and smaller size... Ie not major improvement on our apt...
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 29 2023, 11:45 am
amother OP wrote:
I'm including things that based on my life here I know we will have. We have had our landlord pay for exterminators, had fridge issues, water damage in bathroom etc. So including that in budget.

Not including things we aren't paying for now. So far our school expenses have been uniforms for 1 child and a tehillim, obv thats going to go up a lot as we have 3 preschool aged children.

Is 20k your current or presumed tuition expense for the four kids?

Why not meet with Mesila and get real input?
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