Do you discuss these things with each other

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:31 am

Would like to hear from those that are involved in finances. Not really looking for I leave finances fully up to my husband answers.

Do you discuss with each other before spending on big purchases? Like electronics for example, things that cost a lot. Or do you just spend as you please and never discuss.

Also if you have maaser set aside do you discuss where to give to or do you just give whenever you see something and feel like it. Talking about large donations.

Trademark

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:34 am

I think it depends on what kind of budget you have.

I definitely discuss large purchases and donations with my husband.

blueberry32

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:35 am

Always a joint discussion! I would never make a big money decision without talking about it with my husband

amother

IndianRed

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:35 am

Yes discuss

amother

Wheat

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:37 am

Yes I discuss
1- Common courtesy, it’s not only my money
2- I trust his seicheldik opinion much more than my own

little neshamala

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:37 am

Absolutely.
We even discuss $50 purchases

amother

Lightyellow

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:38 am

We have a general rule if it's over 150-200 we discuss but we tend to talk about most purchases anyway.

Orange42

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:41 am

We discuss all purchases. If we want to buy a gift for each other, we let the other know and give a dollar range to see if we both think it’s acceptable. Agreement rather than sticker shock makes the gift far more exciting for us. But we’re not big gift people.

amother

Whitewash

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:42 am

We discuss big purchases, but honestly we never like to tell each other no.... like I'm not going to tell DH he can't buy something and vice versa.

Orange42

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:44 am

I guess it really depends on big purchases - my husband wants air pods, and I told him to go buy them. He didn’t need to discuss with me, but he wanted to because we’re both frugal people I guess. But big purchases and maser as you’ve described, yes! I think it’s important to be on the same page.

imasinger

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 10:49 am

We are both sometimes hard to reach, and are enough on the same page that if something comes up, we trust each other to make wise decisions.

I would say that anything truly major gets discussed, but what we consider major might be different from wat another couple considers major.

amother

Iris

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 11:07 am

amother OP wrote:

We discuss any large out of the norm purchase.

However, my husband does not do the puchasing or research, I do. So before I buy a couch/washing machine/ car/ repaint I lay out the cost and here's what I'm considering and he can say no or whatever.

He takes care of the tzedakah so there roles are reversed. I'm pretty sure he mentions to me anything over 1k, but not sure. There we have many places he gives 100 or so to and a few places he gives several k.

He pays the credit card bills and calls put to me the big numbers (and strange vendors - for fraud).

If I buy clothes or he buys a suit we discuss, because that's rare LOL.

But if I go out clothes and shoe shopping for our large family I don't discuss it with him even though I can spend well over 1k in a day. He does know it's happening though (well he should if he's listening).

But our finances are not tight. Just measured. If they were tight we'd discuss more.

amother

Hawthorn

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 11:13 am

We make almost all our large donations at the end of the calendar year, and we discuss them the week before.

We discuss purchases if we think the other person would want to know or have an opinion. If I want to buy a $200 dress, I don't discuss with my husband because he won't care. But if I wanted to buy a $30 toaster oven, I would definitely run it by him because he hates clutter in the kitchen and probably would be hard to convince to add a gadget there permanently. So sometimes it is about cost and sometimes more about the practicalities of how the purchase will fit into our home.

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 12:04 pm

I ask him before purchasing
He doesn't
Are we abnormal?

amother

Lightblue

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 12:22 pm

Always discuss everything

imaima

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 12:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

Discuss the threshold of spending without asking for your family.
It’s different for everyone

amother

Sand

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 12:30 pm

I don't but only because I'm the cheap one & hub knows I never buy unless absolutely necessary & in budget.

ftm1234

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 12:32 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

I ask him before purchasing
He doesn't
Are we abnormal?

If it works for you, no totally not.

It's all about doing what works for you.

I generally leave 99% financial decisions up to my husband and it works for us.

Doesn't mean it would work for everyone.

ftm1234

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 12:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think the bolded is a bit extreme.

I consider myself one of those people that "leave finances fully up to my husband".

However, there's no such thing as doing what you mentioned.

The least you do is say beforehand "I'm going to make xyz purchase on xyz date."

amother

Olive

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 12:37 pm

Tzadaka I think we don't. He has a special maaser account and generally takes care of it.
I usually run what I want to give, just cuz I can be cheap sometimes.

Big electronics, for sure. He just ordered an expensive tablet. He's been mentioning it for a few months. I pushed him to do it.

Clothes, depends what. I like to hear is reassurance that I should shop so I usually mention things. If I were to get a shaitel, it would be a discussion for sure.
He got a new weekday hat before pesach, first in 7 years ($230) plus a suit cuz his brother was getting married. It was a lot at once, but very necessary.

He is generous with me, so I try to be with him as well. Bh he mentioned yesterday that yt is coming and I should buy myself something new.

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