I was scammed and I need help getting over it

amother

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 10:11 am

I allowed myself to be scammed.
I am so ashamed.
I sent money for something I really wanted through PayPal friends and family. Around $200.
It’s not a terrible amount of money, but my desparate desire for the item allowed me to be fooled.
I spent three hours this morning of precious work time working on this. I have been in touch with PayPal and my bank. There is nothing to do about it. Friends and family can’t be disputed.
I know these things happen and I am grateful it was under $200, but I am so upset with myself.

I was recently speaking with my husband about the concept of Gam zu litovah and recognizing things as Hashem’s will IN the VERY moment they are happening. My avodah today is to say and truly work on feeling: Gam Zu Litovah and accepting that this too is Hashgacha Pratis- exactly what Hashem wanted to happen to me.

amother

Mintgreen

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 10:40 am

I know that it’s very hard to come to terms with it and leaves you feeling very foolish and vulnerable, but can you frame it that hashem wanted you to loose the $$$ and at least you are not using it on copay’s etc

amother

Hyacinth

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 10:53 am

Oy, it is the absolute worst feeling to feel taken advantage of Sad

I agree that the best way to move forward is on focusing on the fact that it's from Hashem and it was bashert for you to lose this money. nothing you could/or couldnt have done differently- Hashem wanted this to happen.
btw- it's so crazy how many scam calls I get. and then I suspect the legit calls from companies. It is soooooo easy to fall for a scam, some of the smartest, most successful businessmen fall for scams and lose a lot more than $200.
take a deep breath, think about Hashem. use your frustration to daven and ask Hashem for all you need.

amother

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 12:23 pm

amother Mintgreen wrote:

Absolutely. Thank you for the reminder.

amother

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 12:24 pm

amother Clear wrote:

Can you please share the nature or company of the scam so the rest of us don’t fall for it?

It was Facebook marketplace. I was having such a pleasant back and forth with the person. I fell for a too good price.

amother

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 12:26 pm

amother Hyacinth wrote:

Oy, it is the absolute worst feeling to feel taken advantage of Sad

Thank you. I am working on this. Hashem gives me everything I need AND what I want too. He has been very very generous with me.

I know that (unfortunately…) I am in really good company. And people lose a tremendous amount of money to scams and bad deals.

Window

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 12:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

It was Facebook marketplace. I was having such a pleasant back and forth with the person. I fell for a too good price.

Just telling others here, fb marketplace is legit. There are scammers on there, though. Be careful, but I love fb marketplace.
I only use it for local deals. I go to their house and pick it up and pay. I don’t pay before seeing the item

amother

Bronze

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 12:35 pm

When we were newly married my husband fell for a stupid scam. We lost $800, at that point it was a big chunk of our money. It was such an obvious prank but we were new to the world. Nowadays we would never fall for it.

What helped me get over it was thinking that it was a financial course that cost 800 bucks. It's as if I took a course and it helped me how to watch my money more.

amother

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 12:52 pm

Window wrote:

Same! I have been so successful on Facebook marketplace. This was a mistake. I would for sure go back to marketplace, I will just be more careful.

amother

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 12:53 pm

amother Bronze wrote:

Ouch. That must have been a big nisayon. BH, this has been only a small nisayon. Thank you for sharing.

amother

Diamond

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 2:43 pm

Ugh how upsetting.
I was once taken advantage of by an aggressive meshulach at my own front door due to a language barrier. Hopefully he was at least telling the truth about the cause and I wasn’t simply robbed. Either way, very bad feeling.

Amarante

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 3:21 pm

amother Blonde wrote:

What does PayPal friends and family mean?

It is a way to pay friends and family without paying a commission to PayPal on the transaction.

It literally is only safe to use if you are paying your friends and family - I.e. as a gift; to repay for lunch of equivalent etc.

It should NEVER NEVER be used to purchase anything because 1) it offers no protection 2) it should be a red flag because the person asking you to use it is doing it to cheat PayPal (at best) and secondly because they know there are no protections

amother

Leaf

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 3:43 pm

I so understand you.
A few months ago I almost lost ALL my savings to a phone scam. I'm an intelligent (or so I thought lol) middle aged woman. I STILL can't believe I fell for it.

jeweled

Tue, Sep 05 2023, 4:14 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

I so understand you.
A few months ago I almost lost ALL my savings to a phone scam. I'm an intelligent (or so I thought lol) middle aged woman. I STILL can't believe I fell for it.

Wow! So scary! What was the scam?